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Old 22-08-2003, 04:09
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eric-the-viking eric-the-viking is offline
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not a very p.c joke

Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier sends scouts out round the World
looking for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey and hopefully win
Liverpool the title.


One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks
will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch

him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to
Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only 20

minutes left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on
and he takes off Emile Heskey.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for
Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are
delighted and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his
first day in English football.

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were

4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the
players and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and your
brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great
time".

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".
"Sorry!" says his Mum, "It's your bloody fault that we moved to
Liverpool in the first place!"
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