Double Meanings

[Phil_in_Thai]

The meanings might be lost on some...but clear enough for others..

Old but still good (and true)

British TV & Radio

Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his
shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on
World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and
I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith
Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in
bed last night."

'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony
McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and
likes what he sees."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v
Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like
this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much
better today after a 69."

The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's
breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for
a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night
about coming from different positions."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team
Live said: You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's
that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer)
is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls
and kisses them ... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got
eleven Dicks on the field."

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah,
isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of
the Oxford crew."

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother."

New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when
Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava
from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"