The Scottish Condom!

[Coolhand]

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the druggist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square which he unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. He holds it up.

"How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the pharmacist.

"Six pence," says the pharmacist.

"How much for a new one?"

"Ten pence."

The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandana, places it in his sporran and marches down the aisle and out the door of the pharmacy. A moment or two later a great shout goes up, followed by an even greater shout. The Scot walks into the pharmacy again, and back to the pharmacist.

"The regiment has taken a vote," the Scot says. "We'll have a new one."

[Tyfon]

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by
the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them
to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at
school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there
3
in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday,
and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March......."

(write your own section for patong )

K.

[anubis]

Originally Posted by Coolhand

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the druggist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square which he unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. He holds it up.

"How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the pharmacist.

"Six pence," says the pharmacist.

"How much for a new one?"

"Ten pence."

The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandana, places it in his sporran and marches down the aisle and out the door of the pharmacy. A moment or two later a great shout goes up, followed by an even greater shout. The Scot walks into the pharmacy again, and back to the pharmacist.

"The regiment has taken a vote," the Scot says. "We'll have a new one."

Hahaha, those scots

[JayBee]

Originally Posted by anubis

Hahaha, those scots

Was G in that regiment?

[JayBee]

Originally Posted by Tyfon

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by
the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them
to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at
school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there
3
in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday,
and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
One for January, one for February, one for March......."

(write your own section for patong )

K.

Ah, the humor or pathos! Funny because it is sad, but too often true!

[mars]

Another condom joke for the thread

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.

"What size?" asks the clerk. "Gee, I don't know."

"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.

Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.

A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.

"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells

"Clean up in aisle 4!"

[mars]

One More ~

A young guy goes into the chemist shop to buy some condoms.

Chemist: ''They come in packs of 3, 9 or 12, which would you like?''

Guy: ''Well I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's hot. I need the condoms because I think tonights the night. We're having dinner with her parents then going out afterwards. I have a feeling I'm gonna get lucky, once she's had me she'll want me all the time, better give me the pack of 12.''

The guy makes his purchase and leaves. Later in the evening the guy sits down to dinner with his girlfriends family and asks if they mind if he says grace. He says grace but continues praying for several minutes so his girlfriend leans over.

Girlfriend: ''You never told me you were such a religious person''

Guy: ''You never told me your dad was a ****ing chemist''.