A variation of an old one

[Coolhand]

DEAR TECH SUPPORT:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the
product information.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5..0, Golf 7.5 and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!!
Troubled User
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REPLY
Dear Troubled User:

This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints. It is due to a primary misconception generally by male users.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to disallow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs are cyclical.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE; avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 (which replaces BurnIt 1.0), Trash 4.0 and DoBills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.

WARNING!!!!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Your Tech and Sympathy Support

[JayBee]

Outstanding!! So funny and so true! I did manage manage to uninstall Wife 1.0, but it was an extremely expensive procedure. Still looking for a really good Girlfriend 7.0 program. Have heard the Thai software for this sort of program is superior to the American version of same. Problem is, however, the procedure for importing TG 7.0 is extremely difficult, and time consuming. Also I have heard that even if you go thru all the time and effort to secure a copy of TG 7.0 and get it into the country here, that they often eventually get infected with the same viruses that are causing users all the problems with Girlfriend 7.0 and that sometimes it can even be worse because TG 7.0 doesn't operate properly without the utility program SendMoneyToFamily 1.0.

I'm confused by all of this. I think I need to BG 5.0, which I am plannning to buy as soon as I get Ticket 5.0, which is needed to support it. And of course, I'll also need Hotel 5.0 and Holiday 5.0 to go with that.

Oh, well, what can you do? Computers, you can't live with them and you can't live without them!

JayBee