More Irish Gags

[Talbotman]

murphy was walking along with his dog when he met paddy paddy says "where you off to murphy ? murphy " i am going to the vet to get the dog put down" paddy " why is the dog mad ?"

murphy " WELL ITS NOT TOO FU--ING PLEASED ABOUT IT !

WHY DID GOD GIVE THE ARABS ALL THE OIL AND THE IRISH ALL THE POTATOES ?

COS THE IRISH GOT FIRST CHOICE


DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE IRISHMAN WHO THOUGHT PUBIC HAIR WAS BUGS BUNNYS SISTER


A LITTLE GIRL WAS SKIPPING THROUGH THE WOODS WHEN SHE CAME ACCROSS A SMALL IRISHMAN SITTING ON TOP OF A GIANT MUSHROOM WITH HIS HEAD BETWEEN HIS KNEES
GIRL SAYS "HEH MISTER ARE YOU A GOBLIN ?
MAN SAYS NO I JUST GOT A SORE HEAD !

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN IRISHMAN AT UNIVERSITY ANSWER THE CARETAKER

APPOLOGIES TO ALL IRISH GUYS WHAT ABOUT SOME SCOTS JOKES

[LivinLOS]

How did they invent coppor wire ???

2 Scotsman argueing over a penny..

[S1MON]

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stonewall,
holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl
looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee
kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he
blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the
loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee
cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he
blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the
loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time you let me
poot me hand on your leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg.
Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out
over the loch.

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."

The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my
thoughts are a bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her
lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me
the first three pennies?"