You have been to long in thailand if .......

[tim1234]

Not my idea (only the translation is me original it iis from a german forum) but funny:

every spelling mistake you find you can take home !

At home in europe you maybe recognise that you have been to long in Thailand ...

... if for you punctual in the evening at 10 is saam tuum kwaa
... if you take naam plaa prig instead of salt and pepper
... if you and your girlfriend enjoy after meal the toothprick-ritual
... if you don`t smell like a farang anymore
... if you make yourself self-employed with a bicycle and sell anhydrous plaa mueg on street
... if you never finish eating up and leave everytime a rest for ghost`s
... if you have a ghosthouse in front of your door
... if you could be a murder, when someone touches your head
... if you are not wondering, that your girlfriend can take more whyskey than you
... if you borrow a credit with the explanatory statement that your kwaai is ill
... If you pay the bill for the implantation of a pacemaker with 30 Baht
... if you don`t go to work on monday because on sunday was a public holiday
... if you start on 13th of April to run like a crazy guy through the street`s with your red Water- Pump- Gun
... if your passport is from KaoSanRoad
... if you want to marry every girl you get to know, transfer money monthly, to get her out of the "ghetto" and to make it possible
for her to learn english
... if for you a quickie is short- time , and you slip her 500 Baht when she leaves
... if you catch any of your new acquaintances at first between the legs to assure that she is female
... if you take of your shoes of and leave them at the door before church
... if you kneel down in front of a monk at 6 am, to offer rice and vegetables to make tam buun
... if you are rebirthed
... if you announce yourself at the german agricultural administration for the 'one-million-cow-project'
... if you ever get an imprisonment you smile in the camera
... if you order at the 'Golden Hart' tom yam
... if you are jogging at 35 Celsius- Degrees
... if you are not wondering, that the girls also take the gents- restroom
... if you can relay this message without read off:the ancient monk PhraRatsitthiwimol and the manager Wanchai Saencharoen from Wat Sothornwararam Voraviharn at the Chachoengsao Provinz, who have had the order from the ancient abbot PhraRatchamongkolwutthajarn,to hold on trust Money from the Mahachulalongkornrajvidyalaya University, are from monk Sinchai Padungcharoen suspected ...
... if for you the news about durian- harvest are more interesting than the football results
... if you only know potatoes as part of gaeng masaman
... if you useless wait for a thuk-thuk
... if you only drive on the right-side on an Autobahn
... if you ask the taxi-driver 'go by meter?'
... if you drive every 90 Tage to a border in the north to get a new visa
... if you go shopping in a sarong
... if for you at work everything is no pompem
... if you say by buying a pineappel sapalot
... if you estimate from your girl, that she will smiling and only dressed in a bikini cut off your toenail and clean up your ears
... if you start to bargain with the police about the fine
... if you pay for all of your colleques in the pub
... if you stand up in the cinema to show respect for the imperator
... if you want at 3.00 a.m. a noodlesoup
... if you name every girlfriend tirak
... if you say for the retirement of manchester united mai pen rai
... if you take a piss off with a wai
... if you say on telephone 'khap' instead of 'yes'
... if you eat som tam like green salad
... if you ask in a pub after the barfine before taking your girlfriend back home
... if you want to pay in the brothel after your number
... if you don`t stand up befor 6 p.m.
... if you take khao tom talee for breakfirst
... if you know the phonetic differenc between election und election
... if they write in the report of your accident: 'driver fled the scene'
... if you don`t give a damn about, that you have no clue, who is that girl near you after wakeup
... if you choose the fish at your restraurant at home and tell the cook how he has to make it
... if you are waiting in the disco at the restroom for someone who will give you a massage of the neck while you are peeing
... if you get a Gastritis after a bread with cheese
... if you are astonished when your girlfriend after sex not immediately takes her handy
... if you ask in the supermarket after taa gai
... if you like to have naam gaeng with your beer
... if you establish a chickenfarm, name it Thermae and serve Singha- Beer
... if you take the whole family for a personal invitation for dinner
... if you ask 'kin kao laeo rue yang?' instead of "how are you"
... if you are sitting in the pedestrian area on a to small chair before your table of pirate copys of sex-dvd`s and read the
bangkok post
... if for you Gokai is not a brand name but first letter in thai Alphabet
... if you say to your customer kaphom
... if you say chock dii when you leave, if you say anything
... if you exercise kung-fu-driving
... if your eleven years old son drives to scool with a motorbike
... if you are wondering that prices are for all the same

At last:

You have been to long in thailand if you can understand everything and you are yourself just asking :'What should be different"?