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#1
16-10-2005, 07:07
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Koh Samui
I’ve just spent 2 weeks in Thailand and what can I say! An amazing place… I’ve not long got back home to the UK and I want to get back out there!! And this is my 3rd trip :p
Anyway what I’m here to ask is a question on bar girls, I’ve only been with a few on my trips but this time when in Koh Samui I met a girl in a night club (Sub) all was going really well and we had a good night out and she came back to my hotel room with me, we spent the night together and in the morning went for some food and met up with my friends by the pool… she stayed for most of the morning with me, then said she had to go. At this point I’m thinking nothing of it, really nice girl and I liked her a lot, so I asked what she was doing later that day and for the rest of the week… she pulled me to one said and said she works for a bar and that she’d like to come out with me but I’d have to pay the bar fine, I was a little taken back but thought OK what bar and what time do you start? I got there before she started and once she showed up I paid the bar fine there and then. Well we end up spending the week together and she told me why she in working in a bar and about her son and family and just got along like any 2 people would… my friends wife is Thai and from what I can work out this girl does seem to really like me, she has asked if I’d come back in December and take her back to her home, we did seem to have the boy friend girl friend thing going on, and the guy who owns the bar was treating me as her boy friend. She did take care of me and look after me… she never once asked for any money and on my last day she wouldn’t accept anything from me also. I know from reading and what my friend has told me about Thai girls brining a guy home to meet the parents is a really big thing for them, and the way we were together for the week did make me feel she wasn’t lying and she did cry a hell of a lot the night before I went home and things… I have sent her a text message and email letting her know I’m back in the UK and asking how she is, but no reply at the moment. What I’m asking is should I go back in December and see if what has been said happens? I do really like the girl but I just have in the back of my mind could this just be some bar girl trick? Is she playing with me? And what are peoples thoughts on dating a bar girl and in time taking the girl away from the bar? How hard was it coping with the thought that the girl you’ve started to fall for is a bar girl? Sorry for the strange post, I’ve just got back home from Thailand and just a little confused on what to do next. 
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#2
16-10-2005, 07:36
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My only advice is to keep your eyes open and do what feels right for you..
It can be that she try to hook you up and make you send money, or it can be that she likes you. Having a girl in LOS, working in a bar isnt the ideal situation, so you have to make your mind up what to do. As long as she stays in the bar, the bigger the risk is she goes with customer.. Can you cope with that until you know what to do? Do what feels right for you, and follow your "inner voice". Listen to advices but make up your own mind. That she has been a bg shouldnt worry you if you love her. How many have you been with yourself...? If you are going to start a relation with her, you must ignore what she has done before.... Good luck.
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#3
16-10-2005, 11:04
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At the moment I'm thinking that maybe she just wants a way home... after the 1st few days she seemed happy to tell me why she was doing bar work and that she really doesn’t like it... her ex husband left her after she had there son, she needed money so she went to work in the same bar as her sister... from what she says no one in her home town knows that they do bar work. She seems to want to get back to her son, as she did tell me that she doesn’t want him to get to an age when he understands what sort of work she does...
I'd like to go back and see her, is one sure way of knowing what she really wants... I paid her bar fine for 4 days, after that they didn’t mind her just coming with me or not going back to the bar the next day, and I paid no daily rate for her and she never once asked for money off me... even on my last day there she wouldn’t take some money from me to help her out. I asked her a number of times what can I do for you? she would mess around and ask where my passport was so she could hide it lol I'm sure she knew where it was but nothing ever went missing from my room... the only thing she asked of me is when am I coming back? I told her that I can only take 2 more weeks of this year after that I'd be coming back in April, she looked sad and asked could I make it back in December? I told her that I'm more than happy to come back then, but asked why December? She told me she wanted to leave the bar and go home and that she liked me and wanted me to meet her family... she then went on a little about that if I like her and her family liked me how would I feel about her coming to England. Hmm does sound like she just wants to find a way out of the bars and get back home? But I did offer to pay for her to go back there and then and have some money to spare, she just looked happy but sad and said that she wanted me to go back with her. We did get on the subject of how many people we have been with, I told her how many people I'd been with in Thailand and well the UK... she was about to tell me how many people she'd been with, I told her it didn't matter to me just as long as she'd been safe I didn't mind... and she did make a point of using a condom all of the time, even when really really drunk she'd be the one to remember... she did seem happy that I didn't want her to tell me how many people she'd been with, but just said that no one had taken her from the bar like I had and that she has only done short time work and always came back to the bar. I guess I should just be careful and take it as it comes, if she talks to me on the internet or by phone a good few times before December I can make my mind up then and see what comes of it... Do any of you guys on here go to Koh Samui often? She says she's only been there 3 months, I'll charge my camera up and if you like post a pic and see if anyone knows of the girl Last edited by muaythaimummy : 16-10-2005 at 11:10.
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#4
16-10-2005, 11:42
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Sorry but in my opinion if you stay with a girl who obviously needs the money and dont pay her for the time you spend together even when she makes it plain she has a kid to feed your a cheap bastrad..
She has needs, shes working, she has responsibilities.. Instead of being a gentleman and recognising that you take up her time and dont help her out. Why ?? Makes no difference if she is a good or bad girl.. If she is working in a bar and you spend time with her and she clearly explains she has a kid etc and why she is there and you need to 'test' why she is with you by not paying ?!?! Ego getting in the way of the right thing to do.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#5
16-10-2005, 11:44
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...and yes of course she is looking for a way out of the bar.. Most of them are.. she has spelled it out in detail and given you the free ride to let you know she would be with you..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#6
16-10-2005, 12:13
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Quote:
I gave her 15,000 at the end of my stay... she wouldn't take it for some reason, but I made her take it... I should of said...
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#7
16-10-2005, 14:57
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That the right thing to do.. I just read the
Quote:
And took it on face value..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#8
16-10-2005, 15:35
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It’s ok
 I was half asleep when I did the post lol and reading it back I can see where you’re coming from... I like the girl and not to give her anything for spending the week with me would of been just wrong... she's called me and I've called her back and everything seems good, I'm not asking for much from her but who knows, its a funny world and things happen if they are meant to be.I'm going to ask for time off work for December and head back out there for a holiday and see her again, she's a nice girl and would like to keep in contact with her...
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#9
16-10-2005, 16:31
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Don't think its a bg trick, just think its life in Thailand. She has shown you that she likes you, she's got to make a living so don't think too much about it and accept she will be working in the bar until you return. If you think that you could consider taking her home for a period of time at some point, start working on this now, keep all emails, copies of telephone bills and pictures of you both together from now onwards as they will be required as evidence of knowing each other for awhile when applying for the visa. Also keep copies of any monies given or sent to her, same reason.
My thoughts would be go in December, then again April, from Dec to April plan applying for Visa, tell her to keep copies of bank account statements which will also show monies given, if all goes well apply in April and bring her back for a holiday on a tourist visa from April as then at least she will have warm weather and gives you up to 6 months to see how it works, and oh yeah best of luck.
__________________
If I havn't done it already, then i'm gunna do it today.
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#10
16-10-2005, 16:56
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Quote:
That’s what my friend’s wife has said, she Thai also and she has said that the girls at her bar have been talking about me, in a good way :p She has called me today witch was a nice surprise, she wanted to let me know that she was missing me and that she was ok, then went on to say that she was with a man last night, I thought I'd feel bad or something but I didn't, at the end of the day that’s her job, I just asked her to make sure that she’s safe I'll take a look in to the visa, I didn't know Thai's needed a visa to come over to the UK for a holiday! but will go take a look now and see what needs to be done thanx for that idea Dodger.If you see her or anything make sure she's ok and things...This isn't the best pic of me lol but here is one of me and may from our last night Last edited by muaythaimummy : 16-10-2005 at 16:58.
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#11
17-10-2005, 05:16
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Beware don't let your emotions cloud your common sense...''
She's a working call and experienced in dealing with men physically and emotionally. Your just a number to her a meal ticket a punter apparently as we are called. Once a girl meets you in that way its hard for them to really respect you, remember you paid for sex...'' From experience not a Thailand girl but got hooked up with a hoar here fell for her worst 6 months of my life, but I learned so much from her as I said your just a number this girl had me thinking she loved me boy she was good.............now I see them coming its easy when you know the game just make sure you remember its just a game of cat and mouse. Want a nice genuine girl then look in the right places and your find one and yeah she won't be working in a bar....... 
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#12
17-10-2005, 19:04
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I think you should wait till after your visit before you make statements like this , Thailand is different , it is not like Spain. BGs in LOS are not the same as Russians,Romanians or Brazilians , there are lots of "nice genuine girls" who do respect you. Quote:
Once you have had your holiday in LOS , I think your opinions will change. Of course there are the "hardened" BGs but most of them are just trying to support their families. 
__________________
Member of Phuket Hash House Harriers
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#13
17-10-2005, 20:00
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I have to agree with faultytowers, my 1st trip to Thailand I thought all bargirls were just after money money money and didn't care about the people they would go with... OK I've only been 3 times and I have been with a few girls that just seemed to want to get the job over and done with and leave... but for most of it I was surprised at how nice the girls are, get talking to them and find out a bit about them is now part of why I like going to Thailand.
For me I've met this girl from a night club, found out the next day that she works in a bar... I like the girl and I'm now feeling more than happy to go back in December and take her back to her home and do as Dodger suggested... my only worry is that you do read some stories of how people have been messed about with, for me I have in the back of my head “well you wont know unless you try” Go to Thailand and see for yourself, I think you might be surprised.
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#14
17-10-2005, 21:13
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Its your time and money so good luck....''
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#15
18-10-2005, 00:09
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Quote:
MTM, nice story. This is a major reason why I think so many people love LOS especially the southern islands. Talking with and spending time with the girls is alot of fun and also very interesting in that you learn abit about their lives and culture. I was also skeptical about the girls on my first visit thinking that they were just after my money or were out to con me. But I think for the majority, most bargirls are nice people. Of course you have the vultures out there but I tend to stay away from them and I think any resonable person can tell when he is being conned or taken advantage of. So I say best of luck to you....
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#16
18-10-2005, 01:02
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thanx for that G Unit79
talking to the girls and finding out abit about their lives and culture is interesting... the few girls I've been with for sometime seem to be telling a true story as they seem to be more themselves after a day or to of getting to know you... but this girl, I've no idea why I'm hocked on her so much, never felt like this with a girl from Thailand before, yeah ok I've like some of the girls I've been with but not like this... if it was here in the UK and met someone like this I'd have no worries, and feel really happy that I've met this person. Don’t get me wrong I feel very very happy to have spent the time with this girl and got to know her, I don't know why I don't have a problem with her working in a bar as I would say I'm a jealous type of person... my worries are am I'm being taken' for a ride? and I've never done a long distance thing before lol and again it all comes down to going out in December and see what happens... just going nuts thinking about her and hoping she is safe, she has called me every day from coming back to the UK and she emails so in the morning I have something from her... so far not asking for any money, just the normal type of email you'd send to someone you've met on holiday and like to get to know them better... and from what I read a Thai girl taking someone home to meet the family is meant to be a big thing for them, not sure how big but I may find out. lol anyway watch this space...
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#17
01-11-2005, 05:18
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be careful
i love thai people and i have had a few thai girlfriends but you hear to many stories abouth people who fall in love with thais, bringing them home and after a while the thaigirls **** up everything. it can be money, or that they are jealous, or they stay out all night playing card or other shitty things or of course that the guys are not treating them well. i am sorry to tell that most people i know that married thais end up regreating it. the differences between different cultures kills alot of relationships. i have a friend who felt in love with a girl in phuket last year, he ended the relationship but he still sends her money becaurse he feel sorry for her. dont start a relationship if you just feel sorry for someone. think twice....
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#19
14-08-2006, 08:44
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hey mummy,
this girl looks like as when she works in the bar front of 7/11 in samui/lamai, closed to the f***g mcdonalds. and: really: they will tell u that they work 1st time there and maybe this is not true. better do not believe anything what they tell u, cause they make a job and they need the money. but u can find "normal" (no bg`s) and than u can more trust. but if u paid already for a girl - so better do not start a serious relationship. but of course: also this has function and u can be lucky with her. better test for urself !!!!! and decide!!!! samui is really hot!!!! and yeah: the girls r really interested and very lovely.
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#20
14-08-2006, 18:17
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"but u can find "normal" (no bg`s) and than u can more trust."
I disagree. If a girl is dishonest she is dishonest and meeting a lady working in a Bank won't ensure she is more trustworthy than a BG. There are different girls who want different things. You could argue that working in a bar would give her greater incentive to want to get out and meet a nice guy which you seem to be. I met a lovely girl in Lamai last year and went through the same thought process you did. The only advise I can give is don't rush in and trust your instinct rather than what others will tell you. I have some contacts in Lamai/Samui who may well be able to check for you if you would like? If so PM me and I shall try and help. I did this and it helped as the person who helped me was impartial about the situation and therefore had no alterior motive to "sway the truth". I truly hope all goes well my friend
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#21
14-08-2006, 18:42
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everything goes over there, cause girls looking for men and for VERY SHY man it is really VERY VERY easy to get a girl.
but u know like from real life: if u r young, so maybe a relationship stays only for a few weeks. thailand and the bg`s are more for short time fun and not for long-time relationship. of course there exist exceptions!
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#22
14-08-2006, 18:48
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"thailand and the bg`s are more for short time fun and not for long-time relationship. of course there exist exceptions!"
I guess it depends on what you want and are looking for. It is easy to believe that you are the "Saviour" when meeting some ladies and fool yourself into thinking that you are the only one they have met.
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