Essential Advice for you Newbies

[DREW]

I've learned many things from my trips to what is known as the Land Of Smiles or Siam as it used to be called in Yul Brennar’s days of the ‘King and I’ and Thailand as we know it today and I started thinking about what I have learned in my time in the Land Of Smiles, general things at first and then more specific to life in general. How I viewed things when I first landed on a cheap BA flight (courtesy of my wonderful sister) in Bangkok in 1990 and thought that I really did look like a ‘’handsome man’’- how else would all these stunning women want to discuss their marital status with me and offer me an insight into the ways of love in ASIA- then over time how you understand more about ASIAN customs, 'face', legends, culture Buddhism and how your attitudes change over time and your experiences grow and you meet people who have been here even longer than you have, and still do not fully understand the ways of the East.

I started thinking about my experiences from that first visit when I shared a cab from Bangkok to Pattaya with some American Businessman on Holiday from Hong Kong for the weekend ( I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was going but he was happy to half his cab fare) , and the almost fatal taxi ride through Bangkok to the initial ‘taxi scam’ drop off point before heading south on the long 3 hour helter skelter white knuckle ride, not knowing where you were going (and if you would make it in one piece) and then meeting a retired US Air force Commander who owned a bar and gave me invaluable advice on what to do and not what to do and the things to avoid at all costs, before I met what a lot of people (and I say people because I include women as well as men) go to South East Asia to meet; (quite by accident in my case; after all I was only 18); the beautiful exotic women; with such dark complexions that resemble a sun kissed glow (that we westerners spend all summer trying to achieve as a symbol of prosperity and health and the Thais shun as a symbol of low class out door working) , the intoxicating dark round almond eyes (so enchanting it is impossible to guess what lies behind and what they are really thinking behind those ever so easy smiles) and the skin as soft as suede and the jet black hair that shines like silk and seems to go on forever cascading almost to their waist and like most of the women in South East Asia, they moved with poise and elegance, perfectly balanced and supremely confident. A slight sway and rhythm in their hips that is completely natural and unpretentious but incredibly attractive.

I then thought about how I had changed and my visits had changed from those early days so many years ago to what I now view as a second home; the friends I have made that always make me feel as welcome when I return as slipping my hand into
an old glove and feeling the protection it offers from the elements outside, which is something that is truly genuine and I have not found anywhere else in the world.

I am now searching for an investment property and enjoying more relaxed visits without the need to party to 6am every morning, well almost every morning (it is after all almost 20 years later and I am in my mid 30’s) and I am now travelling the more civilised route through Singapore and being met my a regular taxi driver (without the white knuckle ride) who actually looks after my mountain bike whilst I am away and meets me each time I land at Phuket airport.

I started to reflect and think about all the crazy, lazy, hazy days spent in the sun and then the barmy night time partying hard; the hangovers, the hangers-on, the misfits, the smiles, the friends- new and old- the ones here (the ones I lost in the Tsunami of 2004 and the things I saw when I was there and it actually happened) and the ones who have moved on- the laughter and sadness, life and all it had thrown at me and I started thinking about what I had learnt, really learned that I would not have learned if I had taken my vacation in France, Spain, Italy, Sweden, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, the US, The Caribbean, Africa, Australia, all the places I had already been to- what was it about this place and these people, and what had it taught me and what had I taken back with me, how had I changed over the years.

So taking in the sun on Lam Sing beach (which is a beach on a sheltered enclave on Phuket’s west coast accessed only by steep slopes and off the tourist route and known only to a few of us but worth seeking out) with a nice cold Singha beer one day I wrote the following;

[DREW]

I've learned that you can always find more money, but never more time.

I have learned a whole new meaning for 'love you long time' and 'oh my Buddha'.

I’ve learned that 14 nights is too long to spend on a cruise ship.

I've learned that some of my worse decisions were made when I was angry.

I've learned that the older I get the less attention I get.

I have learned that Phuket (if you are Burmese) is not much dissimilar from the old Wild West, with a good old-fashioned card game at the end of a hard day’s work, then a gunfight at the OK Corral (Phuket Town).

I have learned that the best way to lose a friend is to lend him money.

I've learned you should never jump out of a second story window using only a sheet for a parachute, even if it is your birthday party.

I've learned that you shouldn't speak unless you can improve on the silence.

I have learned that there are few places better in Phuket than the viewpoint at sunset.


I've learned that even with the wisdom of Plato that life hands you situations and all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and live moment to moment.

I've learned that Thai Policemen are very friendly until you try to buy their gun.

I have learned that if someone saves your life then you don’t owe them yours, you have to get on with living yours.

I've learned to be generous with praise but cautious with promises.

I've learned that to get the right answer you have to ask the right question.

I have learned that getting into the back of a mini bus with other expats on a visa run to Myanmar or Burma as it was known was not my wisest decision, especially when the driver proceeded to drive at 140 khm in the pouring rain round blind bends for 4 hours each way and when asked to 'slow down' would touch his Buddha amulet hanging from the rear view mirror, smile and then laugh before hitting the accelerator, oh how we laughed! ( and how I spent the 2 hours in the Casino in Burma getting drunk just so I could sleep on the way home)

I've learned that the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while.

I've learned that you should make the money before you spend it.

I've learned that if you ask someone ''I wonder if you could please help me?'' you will almost always get a positive response.

I've learned that girls tell you what you want to hear no matter what country you're in.

I've learned that you never get rewarded for the things you intended to do.

I've learned that it is not a good idea to praise England's footballing ability after they have just beaten Germany 5-1 in MacDonald’s when it is full of German guests.

I've learned that I don't make many mistakes with my mouth shut.

I've learned that most people resist change but it is the only thing that brings progress.

I've learned that hatred is like acid; it destroys the vessel that holds it.

I have learned that you can do something in an instant that can stay with you for a lifetime.

I've learned that it is better not to wait for a crisis to discover what's important in your life.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that is costs nothing to be nice.

I've learned that mending the electricity supply up a bamboo pole in the pouring rain with rubber flip flops as Personal Protective Equipment, would probably not be allowed in the Europe.

I've learned that if you like yourself and who you are, then you'll probably like everyone you meet regardless of who they are.

I've learned that you can't pay someone to practice for you.

I have learned that talking about ghosts to Thai people is not a good idea. They believe in Ghost and think that all the people that died in the 2004 Tsunami are still living on the beach and getting into the back of the cabs only to disappear upon their destination; which goes back to spirits being set free; so please respect their customs and beliefs

I've learned that everything sounds romantic in a foreign language no matter what is said.

I've learned that although there may be reasons to be cynical, it never helps correct the situation or being negative; it will never make you positive!


I've learned that I am a juvenile product of the working class, no matter how big my house or car.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles three things; lost luggage; the clap and warm beer.

I've learned that what you are thinking about you are becoming.

I have learned that it is good to have friends in the Thai Police who you can call on from time to time and explain that you were only 'admiring the gun'.

I have learned that there are some strange people in Patong in Phuket at nighttime.

I've learned that if you stay focused on yourself you are guaranteed to be miserable.

I've learned that the 'tooth fairy' doesn't always come, sometimes he's broke and you have to find other ways to make money.

I've learned that my best friends are usually the ones that get me in trouble.

I've learned that you can't drink whiskey from a bottle of wine, very spiritual that one.

I've learned you should never jump out of a second story window using only a sheet for a parachute, especially after you have done it before.

I've learned that if you don’t try new things you won’t learn new things.

I've learned that Champagne is not a good idea after 10 bottles of Singha beer and pizza.


I've learned that if you have never failed then you are probably not taking enough risks.

I've learned that life's simple things are often the most satisfying.

I've learned that it is best to always bring your own contraceptives to Phuket, no offence but the Thai contraceptives are too small (you can work this out for yourself but don’t tell them).

I've learned that there is nothing you can teach yourself by reading.

I've learned that you must fight for things you believe in.

I've learned that it is perhaps not wise to pursue a girl whose Thai boyfriend has pointed a gun at you, just in case. Thailand’s murder rate by shooting is almost the same as South Africa’s.

I have learned that buying 'Sppidderman DVD's' from a Taxi driver whilst speeding through Bangkok was not one of my most astute fiscal aspirations to date.

I have learned many things, none of which will stop me visiting again, hope to see you all soon.

Regards

Drew

[jenkins]

thats a great post drew, i could learn a lot from it

[Nanook]

Originally Posted by DREW

I've learned that it is not a good idea to praise England's footballing ability after they have just beaten Germany 5-1 in MacDonald’s when it is full of German guests.

Hi Drew, I have read you 2 posts up here with great interest and do agree with almost everything you mentioned. Eccept fot the above quote...

In my country it is a national past time to praise any team in the world, who beats the Germans and especially with football! And even more when you know there are many German people around.

And besides the fact that I must admit a bit they played not too bad during the last world cup, they had all the (organized) support by their own organization.

But I stop as I wander off topic...

[Kristian K]

Originally Posted by DREW

the intoxicating dark round almond eyes (so enchanting it is impossible to guess what lies behind and what they are really thinking behind those ever so easy smiles) and the skin as soft as suede and the jet black hair that shines like silk and seems to go on forever cascading almost to their waist and like most of the women in South East Asia, they moved with poise and elegance, perfectly balanced and supremely confident. A slight sway and rhythm in their hips that is completely natural and unpretentious but incredibly attractive. ;

Simply amazing described!..... loved it



And the rest is Beutifull!

Could learn something too

[irishfrank]

i've learned that I am a juvenile product of the working class, no matter how big my house or car.

poignant, insightful, funny.

I greatly enjoyed reading the lessons thai life has taught you, it seems to me mom and dad Drew did a good job in raising their working class son.

BE LUCKY MATE
from an old class warrior

[D`OH! MER]

Well Said Drew...................

[MrDK]

Very much enjoyed the reading. Many of the points makes you stop and think.

[Pad Mc]

Originally Posted by DREW

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles three things; lost luggage; the clap and warm beer.

I've learned that if you have never failed then you are probably not taking enough risks.

Fair play to you.

Good post Drew.... Enjoyable reading. I liked those two gems above.

Originally Posted by DREW

I've learned that if you like yourself and who you are, then you'll probably like everyone you meet regardless of who they are.

I've learned that there is nothing you can teach yourself by reading.

Drew

Can't say that I agree with those...

[luv u long time]

That was quality mate.

I really enjoyed that read and it made me think a bit too....

Good stuff bud!!

[likeitalot]

Originally Posted by DREW

I've learned that it is perhaps not wise to pursue a girl whose Thai boyfriend has pointed a gun at you, just in case. Thailand’s murder rate by shooting is almost the same as South Africa’s.

Nice piece Drew. Really enjoyed it. Hopefully that was your only run in.

[bodimila]

Lets see if I have this right. Don't eat pizza with 10 beers and polish it off with Champange . Yes, note to self, even though I have to admit it is too late But hey there is always next time
Bodi

[RobRoy]

Lovely dissertation, Drew. Just one question: whenever I ask "Please can you help me?", nobody ever gives me money. what language did you use?

[SneakySnake]

the best post of the board so far, thanks drew

[DREW]

Just a thought for all you new members and I wish I did it.

You should keep a diray when you are here , like some of us do trip reports and then look back over the years and how you have changed.

I find myself now looking at the Visa Stamps in my Passport and trying to remember what I do on the trip, when sitting in airport.

Good luck.

Regards

Drew

[Pinot]

"I have learned that there are some strange people in Patong in Phuket at nighttime."


I walked over to the Summerbreeze Hotel from Beach Road, down Bangala Road at 6 AM to watch the Superbowl last month. It was a scene from a Fellini movie.

Loved your post Drew.

[snorter]

Good stuff, Drew.
I find I've also learnt a hell of a lot living here, mainly about patience..
and I've become more introspective.......although that was as a result of jumping/falling out of a third floor window...

.....they moved with poise and elegance, perfectly balanced and supremely confident.

Most of the BG's I've come across (being farmgirls from Issan) walk like a buffalo with a severe case of farmers..........still perfectly balanced and supremely confident though!

[Coolhand]

Just one other piece of advice:-
"Don't spend a day on the beach without slapping on some sun lotion"

[RobRoy]

Originally Posted by Coolhand

Just one other piece of advice:-
"Don't spend a day on the beach without slapping on some sun lotion"

What? There's a beach there too? Whatever, you can bring your medications with you but you can get just about everything in the Thai pharmacies and the pharmacists are very good advisors.

[casino]

good insight. Makes you think

[Saleom]

Drew,

Sh*t you have learn't a few things in life...

Loved the two post's and learn't a heap from them...

I know all too well about loosing friends after lending them money..

Great post, loved it.

Nathan

[les1999]

quite brilliant Drew, a pleasure to read and to learn - I think every BM should take time to read this, most enlightning thread - thanks and good luck to you.

[DREW]

2 weeks and I will be back in Patong and I can't wait;

Singapore, Bangkok, Samui and Phuket........paradise in the LOS

I hope Nickes beer is still cold, can't wait to be sitting at the bar watching the world go by...........



see you soon

Regards

Drew