Being a real Board Member vs. just posting

[MrDK]

I am not new to this board, but neither am I an old-timer. Every week a number of newbie’s introduce themselves and more often than not a new contributor is born, however, from time to time someone enters this forum with the left foot first. Sometimes the left-foot thing is a matter of simple misunderstanding and sometimes is it like a left-foot-only march.

I think that for a newbie it is (generally) tough to understand that this board has a lot of camaraderie and that there (naturally) is a little bit of a pegging order. Personally I am one of those that entered the board somewhat neutrally, but soon the left foot was walking faster than the right. I remember a post that I made just a month or so into my posting tenure where I made a bold statement (against the moderators) suggesting a thread should be closed (see US imposes sanctions on Thailand !! - Post 130). You can argue whether I was right or wrong, but one fact remains; I was stumping with the wrong foot and the net was that I was not doing my self any good. To make a long story short about my earlier posts, I managed to go from that,h to being somewhat argumentative about little issues (some taken out of context).

Fortunately for me I took a step back, set differences a side and realized that to become a “real” member of this board I had to work myself in. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree or disagree, just that you have to make your self known in a manner that other members want to hear you. First impressions matters and unfortunately first impressions are not a few posts in your “Hi There” introductive thread. Getting to know someone in this type is setting is very tough, plus the nature of the environment can be harsh.

As stated I am neither a newbie nor an old timer, but luckily for me I managed to cool it for a while and then work myself up the ranks. Whether you agree with my posts or not is inconsequential, but I am confident that I have managed to balance the left foot with the right.

An advice from me to newbie’s and junior members: If you really want to be (truly) a part of this board and gain a ton of friends (some personal, some cyber-like), you should work your way in. That does not mean that you should not speak your mind, however, it does mean that you should diligently try to get a feel for the general tone of the board. Your chances of changing the tone of the board is slim to none and if you try you are likely to fail. Once you are in the in, you will be amazed how much help you can get and how many friend you can gain.

[Mizzamzz]

I want to be a TRUE member!! But what if you only have one leg?? How do you make friends then??

[likeitalot]

Thanks for this MrDK. Agree with you that running around like a bull in a china shop here only gets you on the wrong side of things. Making silly comments that you know will get people offside is a waste of everybodies time. Introduce a little controversy, fine, disagree, fine. Spirited debate is healthy. Even the odd arguement can't hurt.

Mizzamzz r u amember of the Heather Mills school of dance?

[Mizzamzz]

Heheh... I tried out but they said I was too good!!

[marc26]

Good post, Lars
You are a perfect example of this
You came, took your bumps and bruises and settled in nicely

I do think you have to have thick skin, a sense of who you are and perspective

We have a bunch of guys here that knoiwn each other now for years and have spent a lot of time with each other

[ATMwalking]

MrDK, I like your post but in someways I'm not too sure what to make of it. I think you need to add in some more specifics.

There has been some newer BMs that have basically invited a flame fest. Perhaps that isn't so good. But to your point about ultimately making some new friends, I think that is the key part. As a relativity new active member, I've ruffled some feathers along the way. I like giving my opinions But at the end when you meet up with the other BMs, it is always good fun. So I'd say never make things personal. Don't take things personally.

You also mentioned camaraderie. Double edge sword. From reading a lot of these posts it is pretty easy to feel you are not in the gang and be turned off. Yet at the same time you see newer people being warmly welcomed into the fold. That was my experience. Turning up for drinks at the MTB is a good move and puts a different spin on posts.

Make a good intro post in the newbies section. More than just "Hi. I really like Thailand. Thai girls are pretty". Most of the posts in there are very forgettable and hard to comment on. Put some details in there and give people something to ask more questions about or post comments.

Also quality posts outweighs post count. I remember and spot people that make quality posts. I make a point of wanting to meet people that make good posts (such as yourself ) I think that is a good way to make yourself known.

Also suggest if you are new to the board and have a basic question, post it in the newbie section. It is a flame free zone. I am surprised there aren't more questions posted into that section. I really think most of the people that have been to Phuket many times or live here really want to give helpful advice.

[MrDK]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

MrDK, I like your post but in someways I'm not too sure what to make of it. I think you need to add in some more specifics.

Digging up my own and others controversial posts would be counter productive. As for my own whatever conflicts I created (perceived or real) is water under the bridge; those who want the details can search the forum.

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

There has been some newer BMs that have basically invited a flame fest. Perhaps that isn't so good. But to your point about ultimately making some new friends, I think that is the key part. As a relativity new active member, I've ruffled some feathers along the way. I like giving my opinions But at the end when you meet up with the other BMs, it is always good fun. So I'd say never make things personal. Don't take things personally.

In different words, my point in case. There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind or ruffling some feathers, being tactful is the key here. I am convinced that most of the individuals that invite a flame fest are much more inviting when you meet them in real life. That is all and good, but there are 20K+ members on this board and you can only meet a small percentage.

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

You also mentioned camaraderie. Double edge sword. From reading a lot of these posts it is pretty easy to feel you are not in the gang and be turned off. Yet at the same time you see newer people being warmly welcomed into the fold. That was my experience. Turning up for drinks at the MTB is a good move and puts a different spin on posts.

It is double edged and said above meeting puts a different spin to it all. Having said that, If you are a member of this board and value it, you must visit MTB when in Patong. I am not trying to sell another beer for Nicke, but do yourself a favour.

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

Make a good intro post in the newbies section. More than just "Hi. I really like Thailand. Thai girls are pretty". Most of the posts in there are very forgettable and hard to comment on. Put some details in there and give people something to ask more questions about or post comments.
Also quality posts outweighs post count. I remember and spot people that make quality posts. I make a point of wanting to meet people that make good posts (such as yourself ) I think that is a good way to make yourself known.

I agree (and thank you)

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

Also suggest if you are new to the board and have a basic question, post it in the newbie section. It is a flame free zone. I am surprised there aren't more questions posted into that section. I really think most of the people that have been to Phuket many times or live here really want to give helpful advice.

After my last few and more extensive trips I have found myself much more capable of being a resource to new members and take pleasure in answering questions where I can.

[K2]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

Also quality posts outweighs post count. I remember and spot people that make quality posts. I make a point of wanting to meet people that make good posts (such as yourself ) I think that is a good way to make yourself known.

Also suggest if you are new to the board and have a basic question, post it in the newbie section. It is a flame free zone. I am surprised there aren't more questions posted into that section. I really think most of the people that have been to Phuket many times or live here really want to give helpful advice.

Excellent comments there ATM - alas sometimes forgotten even by 'older' BM's.

[cybernator_uk]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

Also suggest if you are new to the board and have a basic question, post it in the newbie section. It is a flame free zone. I am surprised there aren't more questions posted into that section. I really think most of the people that have been to Phuket many times or live here really want to give helpful advice.

ATM... Everything you said i agree with. The only reason i highlighted this bit was there are a lot of people who have/had come on the board and asked the same old thing "Where can i meet girls?" or "Where can i get a decent hotel?" To newbies who are reading this then all i can say is always use the search engine first. There is so much good information on here that if you spend an hour or 2 reading you will find what you want and a bit more. Some of the information may be slightly out dated but at least you will get an idea of what to expect. I think this can be a cause of frustration for some senior board members as a lot of the questions that are asked have been asked 1000's of times (ok that may be an exageration but the point is there).

Good thread Mr DK....

[Bello Uomo]

Another thing that is maybe worth mentioning is the true international flavour (or should that be flavor ) of this Board. With the one common trait being an affection towards Thailand.

I am not aware of any other Board (certainly none that I participate in) which has such a diverse group of nationalities.

That poses challenges and opportunities, of course.

[MrDK]

Originally Posted by Bello Uomo

I am not aware of any other Board (certainly none that I participate in) which has such a diverse group of nationalities.

I know of several, but none that has the tone and spirit of this board.

[ATMwalking]

Originally Posted by MrDK

Digging up my own and others controversial posts would be counter productive. As for my own whatever conflicts I created (perceived or real) is water under the bridge; those who want the details can search the forum.

Agree and not wanting to start point fingers. I was wanting to do something similar to this post to celebrate my 1000th post Glad you beat me to it. Meant more that you made a great and constructive post. So let's make things actionable. Give specific tips on how to establish who you are and then take part in the discussions without inviting a flame fest. Or being a good new BM in a nutshell.

Again, great post

[ATMwalking]

Originally Posted by cybernator_uk

a lot of people who have/had come on the board and asked the same old thing "Where can i meet girls?" or "Where can i get a decent hotel?" To newbies who are reading this then all i can say is always use the search engine first.

I agree with you, but the search can be lacking at times. Besides someone may make a post just to try and get going. It is hard to come up with original topics when your just staring out.

I guess I was thinking everyone should go really soft in the newbies area.

Don't even make jokes at their expense. It can be taken the wrong way until you get to know the personalities around here. Should just be straight facts.

Let not-so-newbie BMs help newbie BMs. Pass the torch. I'd suggest that people with 200+ posts or more shouldn't post answers in the newbies section unless necessary. Let some of the newer/lower post counts BMs jump in and help. Let them get their feet wet and establish themselves as helpful and knowledgeable.

[faultytowers]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

Also suggest if you are new to the board and have a basic question, post it in the newbie section.

Originally Posted by cybernator_uk

asked the same old thing "Where can i meet girls?" or "Where can i get a decent hotel?" To newbies who are reading this then all i can say is always use the search engine first.

If the "newbies" read the stickies at the top of the "Newbie Area" the will get a lot of the basic info.

steve@thaib has put together a "Frequently Asked Questions" stickie , with links to a lot of topics which are asked about on a regular basis.

[aussie dollar]

The Search Function Has Its Limits,myself I Try To Answer With Links Or Give The Info Required.cant See The Point Of Just Saying "use The Search Function".
Not Real Friendly Would Be Better Of Not Posting Anything.

[MrDK]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

Let not-so-newbie BMs help newbie BMs. Pass the torch. I'd suggest that people with 200+ posts or more shouldn't post answers in the newbies section unless necessary. Let some of the newer/lower post counts BMs jump in and help. Let them get their feet wet and establish themselves as helpful and knowledgeable.

I agree with you in principle, however, when it comes to a certain post count helps others downwards, I disagree.

For example: At this point Nannok has half the post count that I have and he just posted a thread concerning his first Isaan trip. I have never been there, so as a member with a lesser count than me is now the superior and "whatever he says, I am eating alive".

In terms of my own experience, I can be the "expert" in some cases and clueless in others. If you ask me about Bangkok I can be helpful in the Ratchadapisek and Nana areas, but not around Soi Cowboy. I do agree that some old timers have paid their dues and should not be expected to repeat, repeat and repeat.

At a post count just over 1000 and 8 trips to Thailand I am just starting to become e real resource (I hope) and I owe it to the board to give back what I got. The only exceptions are the truly silly questions and especially those from the the junior members that have an arrogant know-it-all attitude.

To the extend that each of us have the knowledge and the spirit we should all try to help, especially the newbie’s, so long as the question seems genuine.

[ATMwalking]

Originally Posted by MrDK

[color=black]
[color=black]I agree with you in principle, however, when it comes to a certain post count helps others downwards, I disagree.

For example: At this point Nannok has half the post count that I have and he just posted a thread concerning his first Isaan trip. I have never been there, so as a member with a lesser count than me is now the superior and "whatever he says, I am eating alive".

Not suggesting it is all about post count. Just trying to use some public metric to illustrate a point. Understand what you are saying, but Nanook's post wasn't in the newbie section. Strictly talking about this area.

It is more of a suggestion that old hands shouldn't smother the Newbie area. Newer members should be encouraged to get active helping in this area. Beyond a "no flaming" rule, I'd suggest there should be a "there are no dumb questions" rule for the newbies area. Some of the recent flame wars started because a basic question was posted to the general section. An "open season" mentality takes hold. Questions like that should go in this area where is more slack given.

A great example is David Giuseppe's "Picking up a girl during the day". Old hands know this has been answer 20 times over in other threads, but who cares. It's in the newbie section, so more care was taken. Also why not let someone newer to the board give it a go? It is a basic question that anyone that has been here more than once could answer. Let newer members start helping answering.

Advanced posters already have our areas. Let the newbies have a newbie area. Let them get some dialog going.

Separate, new members should start using an Avatar ASAP. It is a lot easier to recognize posters with the little picture. Helps you stand out. Also says you are a bit more interested in joining the community when you take a few minutes to upload a pic.

BTW, mine is from The Prisoner. I'll let you guess at any deeper meanings.

[IRISH JONNY]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

MrDK, I like your post but in someways I'm not too sure what to make of it. I think you need to add in some more specifics.

There has been some newer BMs that have basically invited a flame fest. Perhaps that isn't so good. But to your point about ultimately making some new friends, I think that is the key part. As a relativity new active member, I've ruffled some feathers along the way. I like giving my opinions But at the end when you meet up with the other BMs, it is always good fun. So I'd say never make things personal. Don't take things personally.

You also mentioned camaraderie. Double edge sword. From reading a lot of these posts it is pretty easy to feel you are not in the gang and be turned off. Yet at the same time you see newer people being warmly welcomed into the fold. That was my experience. Turning up for drinks at the MTB is a good move and puts a different spin on posts.

Make a good intro post in the newbies section. More than just "Hi. I really like Thailand. Thai girls are pretty". Most of the posts in there are very forgettable and hard to comment on. Put some details in there and give people something to ask more questions about or post comments.

Also quality posts outweighs post count. I remember and spot people that make quality posts. I make a point of wanting to meet people that make good posts (such as yourself ) I think that is a good way to make yourself known.

Also suggest if you are new to the board and have a basic question, post it in the newbie section. It is a flame free zone. I am surprised there aren't more questions posted into that section. I really think most of the people that have been to Phuket many times or live here really want to give helpful advice.

then i guess you wont be wanting to meet me.......555555555............ij

[Hobbsy]

Originally Posted by ATMwalking

BTW, mine is from The Prisoner. I'll let you guess at any deeper meanings.

and your sig is from playing Starcraft too much