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#1
26-04-2007, 08:34
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Is it Love or are you being Played?
Hello all;
I have just come back from a 3 weeks stay in Pattaya, staying with my Thai gf for the majority of the time. I have known her since late 2005 and this is my third visit to see her. We have always been in continuous email contact when I am back at home. Our time together was an emotional rollercoaster. We had several arguments basically from the two distinct feelings I received when I was with her; 1. She loved me and wanted me to marry her and have babies and support her and her family, and 2. When I asked the question as to why we were going back to the bar she worked for when I had already bar fined her for the day buying drinks for all her bar mates she got argumentive and grumpy, and 3. When I did not have any small change to pay for a taxi or tip someone she found it difficult to cough up with the odd 20baht note although I had bought her a 13,000baht mobile phone and 3,500baht gold ring during our stay. In summary, some periods when I was with her I loved her greatly and I got the feeling she felt the same. She actually said 'I love you' several times and said she 'wanted out of Thailand so she did not have to sleep with strange men'. Other times I felt I was a 'good' client who paid her well when we were together but that was all. I guess these are typical feelings felt my many other board members. I have come back from this holiday more confused then ever over this girl. Loved to hear any comments..... 
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#2
26-04-2007, 08:40
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If you have been together for multiple longer term visits (entire vacations) then the fact she is still milking you in her bar is a bad sign, it shows her motivation is biased more to her bar than to you...
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#3
26-04-2007, 09:06
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Im in a very simalar situation to you in that i met a bg in pattaya.....Shes at her home now until i go over to see her for the 4th time soon...
When im with her she will often pay for taxis and stuff and buy me a small gift everyday(its my money anyway but its the thought that counts) 555555
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#4
26-04-2007, 09:50
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Thanks for your comments, She also would buy me gifts but as you say falanger, it was my money anyway.
Being fair she did pay for the odd taxi, icecream here and there, but what Livin LOS has said is very true she was milking me gaining the commissions from the 'ladies drinks' I purchased for her and the other bar staff. It was every day until I had had enough and l just got up and left saying 'I off for something to eat'. I never went back to her and the bar until she arrived at my hotel room 2 days later at 12.30am in the morning wanting to pick up her toothbrush, clothes and phone charger etc. She asked whether she could come in to pick up her stuff, unfortunately I had someone else in my room at the time, she realised this and left crying and saying 'what went wrong'. She appeared to generally care for me and our relationship and my heart bled for her. The other person got up and left soon after, I went and saw the gf at the bar the next day with her 'stuff' and with within an hour we were solid once again. We never went back to the bar for the rest of my holiday, but she got over the fact that I had cheated on her with another person pretty quick!!!!!
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#5
26-04-2007, 09:58
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interesting post but to be honest if I went with another girl when I was over seeing my 'long time g/f' mine would be totally devastated and probably cry for hours - not sure if she would ever see me again neverlone trust me - I guess what I'm saying is
1. do you 'really' love her......????? 2. does she really love you.....????? Because both of you appear a bit suss to me.......!!!!!!!
__________________
to err is human........but to shift the blame to someone else shows management potential
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#6
26-04-2007, 10:10
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two days later at 12:30am !!! was there any contact in this period ?
IMHO she is treating you like any other customer, not worth the effort
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#7
26-04-2007, 10:16
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I guess you are right les1999, I don't 'really' love her because I am not sure whether she has real feelings for me. Does she really love me, probably not, perhaps she likes me more as a friend who will look after her when I am visiting!!
Thats cool, I think I am seeing things clearer now. Cheers
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#8
26-04-2007, 10:16
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OK well if this is the relationship basis then its basic BG stuff.. Your an income source.. Shes playing that.. Your paying for drinks and shes making.. Theres a dust up and she only cares about loss of earnings.. As soon as she sees you again and incomes back on so is she.. Dont confuse this.. Its just bar work..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#9
26-04-2007, 10:33
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 Quote:
Quote:
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#10
26-04-2007, 11:02
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Yes I agree MrDK a little confusing. She did actually say 'I love you' twice (once when in the sack) but she was also showing the Classic signs of BG relationship stuff like LivinLOS has outlined above.
Are BG's sincere when they say such things?????
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#11
26-04-2007, 11:26
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I would say a very small percentage. Sounds like your feelings for her are confused....and it also sounds like she is playing you as a possible saviour for her family on a financial level....that's the job their family give them on alot of occasions. Your second point in your first post is a give away as well, as previously stated by LIL........you should be telling her where you guys are drinking & eating etc, not her telling you..... It's your holiday & your forking out the dosh, so YOU decide.
__________________
New HHplc Product Coming Soon...Watch This Space 
Last edited by Mav : 26-04-2007 at 13:19.
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#12
26-04-2007, 12:38
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well Less although i never met you, i know you(if that makes sense) i think your gf would be distraught over you going with another girl because it would be so out of character of the man she knows so it wouldnt be so much the actual act of cheating than more so the "out of character" that would disturb her you would go from this doting bf to a butterfly its easier for a girl to handle a butterfly being a good boy Last edited by marc26 : 26-04-2007 at 12:40.
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#13
26-04-2007, 12:46
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yes you're probably right Marc - we do have a very stable relationship despite the distance involved - I suspect I'm one of the lucky ones eh........
__________________
to err is human........but to shift the blame to someone else shows management potential
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#14
26-04-2007, 12:47
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a question many of us have asked
Myself never fell in love in Thailand but still have long time girlfriend in thailand dont send money,if shes available when I'm there thats great if shes not plenty of girls to keep me busy. guess people should read this board there are many more stories of guys being dissappointed. then living happy ever after. But saying that if I fell in love there profession would not be a barrier to our relationship.
__________________
MAY THE BEER BE COLD AND ALL YOUR BETS WINNERS 
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#15
26-04-2007, 12:52
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you just seem like a genuinely good guy who found a girl who recognized that id be more than happy to have a drink with both of you in person to see it for real i like good people having good things happen to them-even things out!!!
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#16
26-04-2007, 12:53
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well said Aussie - my feelings exactly
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#17
26-04-2007, 13:00
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AD i will admit, i thought it would be more of a barrier for me, but it just doesnt even cross my mind with my gf i do still try to get her out of the bg mentality just so if in the end it doesnt work out, she will want more for her life than that
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#19
26-04-2007, 15:16
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Yes, you are Les. You found gem and I am happy for you!
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#20
26-04-2007, 16:09
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Mav is exactly right she was organising most of the things we did while I was with her.
I guess I fell into holiday mode and took the easy way out and let her decide what the evenings activities would be etc. I guess I am to blame then for her dragging me back to her bar late afternoons for many quiet ones!!! She may of freaked when I did the butterfly thing??? I did not intentionally go out to hurt her but I thought that after 2 days it would be over.
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#21
26-04-2007, 19:14
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just for ref
just for reference guys, was in phuket last nov and meet in with a bar girl, was with her for a few days, had a great time, paid bar fine and her everyday, we got on well, she gave me her number, she said to call next time in thailand, went to austrailia for 3 months, we exchanged an odd tex in between, about a month later she said she was no longer working in bar, but at home with parents, after about 2 months, i landed back in phuket, tex her, we talked, she said she wanted to come down to phuket for a holiday with me, she flew in, met her in patong, she stayed with me in the hotel for 3 weeks, we partyed, never any mention of money, i baught the beer and food, she baught some stuff (not a lot)..we whet back to the bar she used to work in one night to meet her friends, boss asked for bar fine for me, she told her to **** off basicly!!. she came back up to bangkok with me when i was flyin home,been texin and chattin since, says she really likes me and wants to stay with me etc, i told her id be back later in the year, she sounds a lot better than what some of ye guys are doin, shes fairly hot too!!
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#22
27-04-2007, 06:22
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Nero i think you are just a customer to this girl imho.
the bar-milking as said before is a dead give away that she is only in it for the money. bgs love to flaunt their customer to their mates, who are paying for the lady drinks, it builds her up face, and helps her mates who are not pulling the customers. next time one gets a good catch in, its her turn to get him to buy the drinks for the "out of luck" others. fostraswift, the first question i would ask, if a bg "has finished working the bar and returned to the village" is how does she have the money to do that? but on the other hand if you are their getting it for free (she has a sponsor paying her bills) you are laughing and getting some farangs teerak at his monetary expense. sorry i sound cynical but time does it to me.
__________________
everything is for sale in thailand its just how they package it
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#23
27-04-2007, 09:33
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You want to know about love? OK. What is love? Define it for me, and then I will tell you if she loves you. As stated above: A)You don't even know if you love her! and B)her love for you(when she feels it) is based upon her desire to not have to sleep with strange men. Not having to sleep with strange men could be a pretty strong motivating factor to fall in love with someone. I've been emailing back and forth with a girl I met. She doesn't love me and I don't love her. But she has a phenomenal body by my standards, and a pretty face to go with it. I love it when a girl has a killer body(voluptuous, not those slim ones with the tiny butts), love to touch it, love to feel it next to me in bed, love to look at it, love to kiss and f*ck her. So, could I fall in love with that girl? Yes, if we spent enough time together, and got along well enough. Because I am predisposed to falling for a girl with a body like that. The fact that she has a great body is a strong motivating factor for me to love her, because I find it very desirable, and, therefore, I place a high value on that. She places a high value on not having to sleep with strange men for the rest of the years she is able to make a living doing so. When she looks at you, she sees someone who can give fulfill that desire, and someone who might value her highly enough to do so. So, in that respect you are very desirable to her, same as the girl with the hot body is desirable to me. She could fall in love with you, same as I could fall for the girl with the beautiful body. Different people want different things out of life, and therefore place different values on the assets which other people possess. A girl who has been with a hundred very good looking, charming young men, who were absolutely great fun to party with and go to bed with, might not place a very high value on youth, charm, and a fun-loving nature, when, at the end of the day they are up and gone, never to be heard from again, except maybe when she sees him walking down Bangla with his arm around another girl. She might place a high value on a man who possesses the ability to ignore every other babe in Patong, because he would rather spend all his time with her, and make her happy. To her, he might seem a lot more desirable than a guy who is better looking, more charming, and younger! Because she sees him as the real deal, and the others as just playing games with her. So, what is love? When you figure it out, let me know. 
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LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown. 
Last edited by JayBee : 28-04-2007 at 09:23.
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