Phuket Thailand - Have a Thai GF (kinda) but should I go on my own?

mombasa · #1 31-05-2007, 00:17

Ok chaps - firstly this is a great forum - learnt lots.

Bit of background : Am an Indian male (originaly Kenyan), early 40's but look like I'm early 30's, good looking, working in an Investment Bank in UK (so money is not exactly a problem). Was first in Phuket in 1991 & 93, when I was young free and single. Patong was a lot different then. Soi Bangla was tiny. Both times it started of as BG action and both ladies stayed with me for the entire trip.

Got married back home, have a lovely 10 year old boy and was very contented with life. Last time in Thailand was with family and friends in 2001. However, I just got divorced recently - absolutely devastated - have given up everything for the sake of my son but it's very, very hard - my son has been poisened against me. For that reason alone I'm transferring to HK with my bank - but that's a year away still.

Anyways, I was in HK on a biz trip early this year and met this Thai Girl in a bar in Wanchai - quite a looker - obviously a working girl but very shy about it. She was there for Rugby 7's to make some money for her daughter and to try and setup a restaurant back home - by the way, I verified all this. We spent 6 days together - she stayed with me in my hotel and we have been in touch ever since. Not once did she ask me for money. When I tried to give her money for the first night she said to give it to her at the end. When I did, she never looked at it. Hell, we never even negotiated the price for the first night - we just had a few drinks together, went for some food and ended up in in my hotel without even talking about 'business'. Also, she's not a BG back in Thailand. She had a small restaurant but now given up on that and looking to try something else. All verified btw. Been sending her a little money just to help her out - she's never directly asked for it.

My difficulty is that I don't really wanna get involved like this. She's very sweet, smart etc but I'm on the rebound. Am going to Phuket in August and have booked BaanThai, Kata Thani and Marina Phuket for us for 2 weeks. Plan to spend 3 nights in Majestic Suites or Grande.

But, after reading this forum am thinking that I should be a butterfly - play the field etc. Am already planning to spend my first night in BKK without her and get her to join me on the second day. Was planning to go to beer garden, Lolitas, Angels etc b4 I hook up with her.

So all in all, u'd think I'm onto a winner here yes? Hmm, can't help being a trifle suspicious plus that I think I'm missing out on being a butterfly

Whaddaya reckon?

oneday · #2 31-05-2007, 00:33

That's a hard one my friend. I would probably be in the same quandry if I was in your shoes. But standing back from it since it isn't me I would say this...

Be honest with her about not wanting a steady relationship at this time, but let her know how much you like her and want to be with her. Tell her since you have just gotten divorced you would like to play the field for a while without being tied down. Try to be as honest as possible with how you feel. Think about this...how would you feel if she went with other men. Would you be jealous? That might tell you something.

Of course, she may very well say that's OK for you to be with other women, but in private it may hurt her very much and I can see you don't want to do that.

It's a hard situation and I don't think there is a good answer. Maybe you will get better answers here than mine.

Chok dee.

marc26 · #3 31-05-2007, 00:39

i would say that if she is in HK working she is invloved in P4P alot more than she is letting on
why dont you spend half your holiday with her and half of it butterflying

cybernator_uk · #4 31-05-2007, 00:43

Hi and welcome to the board.

Well my 2 cents here.

I wouldn't take her on holiday and then butterfly. It's not fair on the girl as from the sounds of it she may genuinly like you and she also sounds very nice. If you want to butterfly then go on your own and consider breaking off the relationship. It would not be fair on the girl or you. You sound like a good guy and I think deep down you don't want to hurt the girl. It sounds like you may not feel that you want to be in a relationship, maybe out of fear deep-down that YOU will get hurt again.

My advice here is take her on holiday with you. Spend a couple of weeks with her and if after that you do not want to be with her, then break up. As you said you are moving to HK for work and lets face it, it's easy enough to get flights to Phuket and not that far either... Well not as far as from the UK anyway and i'm sure you will be able to do long weekend trips etc.

But good luck in whatever you decide

mombasa · #5 31-05-2007, 01:02

Wow, that was quick.

Just to clarify, she's been to HK twice in 2 years for P4P - both times for 4 weeks for Rugby 7's when there's a lot of money to be made apparantely

Cyber, I think you are right - see how it goes for 2 weeks together, We've both said to each other that we don't know each other at all really but want to give it a go for longer. She's said that if things go ok, she'll come and stay with me in HK whenever I want.

Yeh, u're right - I want a relationship because I want a friend and a companion - not just the boom boom. At the same time I'm very afraid of getting involved - especially with someone from a non-western culture - but hey, I'm gonna have to get used to the HK culture

As far as the butterflying, yeh, I know, It's just a dream to find someone who's willing to let u do that just to keep u happy but in reality there will always be payback.

Still, the first day, night in BKK without her is very tempting - just to see what I'mm missing of course

Thx

faultytowers · #6 31-05-2007, 01:11

[quote=mombasa;334742]Anyways, I was in HK on a biz trip early this year and met this Thai Girl in a bar in Wanchai - quite a looker - obviously a working girl but very shy about it. She was there for Rugby 7's

I am curious about how you know she is 'clean' ????

The Hong Kong 7's were on from 30th March to 1st April, that is less than 2 months ago and 'proper' HIV tests require a 3 month 'no unprotected sex' window. The fact that you have already had unprotected (no condoms !!!!!) sex with her is not only worrying , it is dangerous.

mombasa · #7 31-05-2007, 01:23

Good question. I met her very early on during her time there. Started of having protected sex - she had condoms with her as did I. Went for a check in HK and it was fine. From that and what she had told me I got a bit laise faire and one night after one too many, did it without condoms.

Agreed that the safe window is 3 months but HIV is easily detectable in the first 6 weeks as well. I asked her to have tests in BKK as soon as she got back and all ok.

Ok, rather stupid of me but it looks ok. When I'm back with her will go for another check - just in case. And I know, she's not working as BG etc over there.

dawsey · #8 31-05-2007, 01:54

Please leave out the "adult" references in this section.

Thanks

mombasa · #9 31-05-2007, 02:11

Sorry Oneday, missed your post. I have told her I'm divorced, have a child and never want to get married again. Actually, she feels the same, got married, had a kid, husband left, game over.

Guess I'll have to find out whether she really is a BG or something a lot more than that. Time will tell.

marc26 · #10 31-05-2007, 02:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by mombasa

. And I know, she's not working as BG etc over there.

again, not trying to bust your balls(take the piss)
every single girl that i knew that went to HK to work was pretty into the P4P so i would be careful

faultytowers · #11 31-05-2007, 02:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by mombasa

Went for a check in HK and it was fine. From that and what she had told me I got a bit laise faire and one night after one too many, did it without condoms.

Agreed that the safe window is 3 months but HIV is easily detectable in the first 6 weeks as well. I asked her to have tests in BKK as soon as she got back and all ok.Ok, rather stupid of me but it looks ok.

When I'm back with her will go for another check - just in case. And I know, she's not working as BG etc over there.

Check in HK was pointless , HIV 'may' be detectable in 6 weeks but for 'full clearance' you have to observe the 3 month rule.

As for her having tests in Bangkok , same rule applies , the fact "it looks OK" is not something I would bet my life on. When you are back with her , have another check (just in case !!!!) then make sure you use condoms . She 'may' not be working as a BG (but she has already) , but that does not mean she is not having sex , there could be a Thai boyfriend/husband.

Dupree00 · #12 31-05-2007, 02:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by mombasa

Wow, that was quick.

Still, the first day, night in BKK without her is very tempting - just to see what I'mm missing of course

Thx

Go to Lolitas the first night. It's fast and private.

If you wanna have a lttle fun. You're not married anymore.

Icebox · #13 31-05-2007, 02:40

I think its a difficult one but whats the harm butterflying a bit , after that one or two encounters i think you will have a clearer picture in your head where exactly your at !

Spemd some time with this other girl too and she what happens as you said only time will tell !!

Nanook · #14 31-05-2007, 13:21

Hi Mombasa, welcome to the board. You really start with a hard one to answer. I think I go with Cybenator's reply to you.

Good luck to both of you.

LivinLOS · #15 31-05-2007, 13:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by marc26

again, not trying to bust your balls(take the piss)
every single girl that i knew that went to HK to work was pretty into the P4P so i would be careful

Exactly.. I have known a few girls who do the Sing and HK runs.. Every single one of them was advanced BG / FL.. No (or very few to be irrelevant) part time and inexperienced BG's can handle that level of challenge. Your talking a woman with a passport, with money for flights and hotels, mates out there who have been to liaise with, ability to find the FL areas, and sniff out punters to find the bigger bucks that HK and sing offer. Thats not a part time once or twice BG..

thaitan · #16 31-05-2007, 13:59

If she did not work as a BG in LOS she would not have the confidence to go to HK. Most new BG's when starting out are sh*ting themself's.

JayBee · #17 31-05-2007, 14:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by thaitan;

Most new BG's when starting out are sh*ting themself's.

I've heard that some guys are into that sort of kinky stuff. Not for me!

thaitan · #18 31-05-2007, 15:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayBee

I've heard that some guys are into that sort of kinky stuff. Not for me!

When i use the term sh*iting themself i meant that they are frightend and only do it to support themself and the family not because they want to. What you are thinking never entered my mind are you sure it's not for you?

eur11 · #19 31-05-2007, 15:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by thaitan

When i use the term sh*iting themself i meant that they are frightend and only do it to support themself and the family not because they want to. What you are thinking never entered my mind are you sure it's not for you?

I thought I understood this phrase "sh*iting themself" (assuming it's 'sh*tting themselves), but now I am not so sure anymore

thaitan · #20 31-05-2007, 15:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by eur11

I thought I understood this phrase "sh*iting themself" (assuming it's 'sh*tting themselves), but now I am not so sure anymore

I'm assuming by your location "Melb" that you are from Melbourne Australia[if your not sorry] but if you are you should know what it means. Sh*ting yourself same same scared not craping yourself. Same as "i'm spewing "same same" i'm p*ssed "off not vomiting. Kow jai?

Mai Chob · #21 31-05-2007, 16:25

C'mon guys, JB was being witty!! I laughed so much I nearly ### meself!
I think I go with Cybs view and your response to his shows a thinking man...
I would also agree ,however , that this lady IS more experienced than you think, but she still can be a great lady. ( You ever met any that definately dont want to settle down with a good man? Its in her genes!!) I would say PLAY 1st in BKK and try it the same way you did with her (ie More than 1 day). That way you get to compare. TGs have a VERY beguiling way about them. When with her closely ob her reaction to a problem, over 2 weeks with her you will get some idea of your real compatibility....Chok Dee (good luck)

georgelondon · #22 31-05-2007, 16:53

i'd carry on seeing her...be a butterfly as well! what they don't know dont hurt them!

ATMwalking · #23 31-05-2007, 17:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

Exactly.. I have known a few girls who do the Sing and HK runs.. Every single one of them was advanced BG / FL..

Is there some sort of certification involved in reaching this level?

On the OP, why not just split your trip 50/50 if you are not sure.