 |
|
|
#1
28-02-2008, 22:41
|
|||
|
|||
|
arriving april,,this is life changing
hi to everyone, and thanks for an informative and interesting site, i am currently living in the uk but plan to live in the los,, here is a little bit about my situation ,
i really didnt think this would happen to me, but im actually comming to thailand for 3 weeks in april. I have fallen for a wonderfull thai woman (met on web), she is of similar age to myself (48), and has a well paid job, (so shes not after my money). her english is very good, as we chat on video cam every night for several hours, and the more i get to know about her the more i am losing the plot and want to be with her . here are my plans,, , i visit los for 3 weeks ,, she has arranged a few days in chiang mai, puket, phi phi don, then home to sonkhla, i then return home, hand in my notice at work, arrange to rent out my house(this will give me some pocket money),sell the car and anything else i wont be needing , i then return to songkhla to live with her, well as you can immagine this is a momentous decession and i have not even met her ,,i try to be rational about this , but i only see the positive side,ie hot climate, early retirement,good woman ,, you know what im talking about ? my biggest concern is the visa situation, how easy is it to renew, and is a retirement visa the way for me to go , but if it really works out we would plan to marry , but i would like to give it a good 6 months before i go down this route, any comments usefull or otherwise would be appriciated j k 
|
| Guest Info |
|
+:+:+ Forum Headquarter +:+:+ |
|
#3
28-02-2008, 23:03
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
6 months to wait and get married to a girl you never met i like a man who takes his time 5555
|
|
#4
28-02-2008, 23:29
|
||||
|
||||
|
For retirement visa you have to be 50 and over, 800k in bank or certifiable income of 65k a month.
Sure you fallen in love with the woman or the country??Reckon you ought to spend some time doing some serious reading on the forum, as you seem to be very lacking in knowledge of your new home country.
__________________
If I havn't done it already, then i'm gunna do it today.
|
|
#5
28-02-2008, 23:41
|
||||
|
||||
|
Welcome to the board. Sort of an ambitious plan you have laid out. Have you been to LOS before? Maybe you need to get your feet wet before you rent the house, sell the car. At 48 do you really have enough money to retire and support yourself and your wife? Lot’s of guys dream of the big move, but I’m not sure you have really thought this through. Good luck and enjoy your vacation.
__________________
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
|
|
#6
29-02-2008, 02:11
|
|||
|
|||
|
Sounds like you are a man with a plan!
I hope it all goes well for you but make doubly sure of everything and that you're eyes are wide open (in this case i cannot recommend Mav's Rose Tinted Glasses) as it is a massive step to take. Good Luck.
|
|
#7
29-02-2008, 02:26
|
|||
|
|||
|
well guys, i know at the moment my head is in the clouds its just a bit difficult getting my feet down to the ground ,
i have never been to los,but i have done some homework on a lot of the issues , and i read a lot of the info on here, i am in a fortunate position in more ways than one, she has a well paid job and tells me i do not need to worry about money as she can support me , but i have never been a kept man or indeed dont intend to be in the furure, i have the means to support myself, so money is not an issue , im sure there are some on here that have been in this situation and know the feeling and decissions that have to be taken , ok i see it like this ,,, i work in the uk, money is quite good but boring job, im divorced, no kidds to worry about, small pension at 50 and enough savings to live on if im in los for several years, income from rented house in uk will be usefull , so the choice i have is , 1,,,keep working at the boring job until i retire , or 2,,,take the plunge and start a new life ?
|
|
#8
29-02-2008, 02:34
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
none of us are saying anything about an impending move to LOS but you mention possibly marrying someone you never met in 6 months. never mind the fact you know absolutely nothing about her culute and it will take you much longer than 6 months to adapt and understand a new culute that you intend on living in just come on that holiday, meet the girl and see what happens. then come back and try for an extended stay again and see if thailand is the place for you in other words, you admittedly say your head is in the clouds. i suggest you pull them out and come back down to earth so you can make sound decisions
|
|
#9
29-02-2008, 02:56
|
||||
|
||||
|
Good advice Marc. This is by far the most sensible approach. Going hard at this stage is staring disaster in the face.
|
|
#10
29-02-2008, 03:49
|
|||
|
|||
|
thanks for the replys, im not inpulsive by nature, and have always tried to look at the situation from a few angles if possible,and others points of veiw are always welcome.
marc, what you have said is how im looking at it , as i havent made any decisions yet, only to meet with my girl and spend 3 weeks on holiday together , its going to go one of two ways , we will get on so well i wont want to leave , or we dont get on as well as we both had hoped and i dont return, but somehow meeting for the first time and going on holiday together will maybe cloud my judgment , im under no illusions, moving to a new country, different culture, launguage, food, etc etc , is going to take some gettting use to, and my thai lessons have already started, i guess im am only looking at the positives and i really need to experiance los before i can really make any informed decissision , what do i need to look out for ?
|
|
#11
29-02-2008, 06:28
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
jeez, you have about a week??? 5555 one thing you dont do is make promises you cant or wont keep thai girls are extremely clingy and you will go to hello at airport to full-fledged bf status by the time the taxi drops you off at your hotel i think you are extremely and also smart to have found this board when is your holiday?? be good for you to meet up with other bm's for a chat and a beer i just think you need to try and make it more of a level playing field. right now, you are going right on her pitch and you will be solely dictated by here. i think you already realize you need to just step back a little, just to yourself a little. maybe voice to her that this 3 weeks is a feeling out stage and not the "honeymoon" listen, thai girls are incredible at giving you that GFE experience, even if its just one night, so the fact you know this girl quite well from the interent, im positive she will live up to your expectations. but just keep a level head. try and do plenty of reading on the board, there is a relationship section on the board, read around on there you seem to be taking and reading people's advice, thats the 1st good step
|
|
#13
29-02-2008, 11:43
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hey Kanya,
Go for it, life is short and if your current life is not turning you on Have ya big adventure just dont sell your house and leave your money Banked at home in the UK and if it all turns to sh#t you can always go home and start again. I think. Maybe, on second thoughts better listen to what the others have said. Hope this has been helpfull.
|
|
#14
29-02-2008, 11:53
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Can I be brutally honest?If what I am about to say offends you then I'm sorry but I'm going to be brutally honest and truthful in my assesment. First of all the major point is you have never been to Thailand before. You have no real idea of the country and spending a bit of time here is not the same as reading in a book or a forum. Before my first trip, I read a lot of books and it didn't prepare as much as I thought for actually being here. To be honest, what you have read will pretty much go out of the window. You're not back in the west. There are so many things you'll have to adapt to. I think these haven't been considered. You have never met this girl before. How do you know she has this"well-paid job? The truth of the matter is you only know what she has told you. Have you considwered the possibility that she's talking rubbish and maybe she even has a Thai husband? Don't laugh here, it wouldn't be the first time this has happened. Going back to knowing the girl, You're 48. This means, and again I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, it will be harder for you to rebuild if something goes wrong. Also, you really only get to know someone when you live with them. I'm finding out good and bad points about Jaun now I'm spending real time with her. It's not the same as talking on the internet, on the phone or by SMS. So you have thought about this and still think you'll go out there. Ok, so you're not on holiday so what will you do? Work? I'm telling you, if you're anything like me you'll get bored of not working. Also, have you considered where you'll live? bangkok is the obvious place, but what if she wants to live somewhere where there aren't many foreigners. You'll get lonely. I felt lonely a little being in Issan for about 5 days. I was lucky I met some other foreigners to talk to at times. Ok so back to Bangkok, if this is where you go have you spent time there? The answer is no. You have no idea what it's like and really before you go you need to spend real time there. It's a vibrant city but it's also a mess, terribly planned in my honest opinion. Family - This is another issue you need to deal with. Have you met her family. Remeber if you decide to marry a Thai, her family will always be around. You have to consider that. It's not the same as the west when on an average month when I was living in Germany, I spoke to mum once a month. Thais keep close contact with there family. Hell Jaun speaks to her mum 3 times a day. you need to see if her family is a benefit. If not, conside taking her back to the UK or where ever. Really, the best thing is spend some time with her, go back to the UK or where ever and have a long hard think about what is best for you AND her in the long term picture. Is it best just to up and leave. You also need to consider the correct visa for yourself. Have you done any real research into Visa's and how much stuff actually costs out here? I'm not saying it won't work, because that's rubbish. I'm saying consider everything before you decide to actually live out here. Also consider the option of taking her to home. Good luck in what ever you do.
__________________
Life is like a box of chocolates..... you go to Thailand and get greedy 
|
|
#15
29-02-2008, 15:50
|
|||
|
|||
|
well I am only a newbie but here is my 2 cents. I don't think it has much to do with Thailand, it could be any country in the world, it is more about love. I believe it was Homer Simpson that said that the secret to his long relationship to Marge was communication ........... as little as possible.
It very easy for the mind to dream and hope what could be possible, why not, it probably helps you get through each day, but you are now following that dream and that is alot more than most people do. So while the odds may be against things working out with this women you may end up falling in love with los or another girl, either way it will be a good result. So keep on dreaming and keep your eyes open, enjoy your holiday. Best of luck. Ezy
|
|
#16
29-02-2008, 16:50
|
|||
|
|||
|
thanks again guys, this is certainly giving me somthing to think about ,learning from others experiance is a great help
alfie,,,,we all have to make our own mistakes , but i get your message  mark 26,,, i will be in puket on the 20th april for 3 nights,and a chat and a beer sounds great, just need to find out where ,, fireysteve,,,,,you just about summed up my intentions, providing that the 3 weeks goes well. cybernator,, you covered so much of what is on my mind, and i really appreciate you guys taking the time to point me in the right direction, this girl is genuine, she is a teacher,with a masters degree, i have seen lots of photos, of her with her students,so i have no doubt about her well paid job and her ability to provide a roof over my head, the family issue,well she has been very open about this and explained the thai ways ,but i have said, i draw the line about sharing the bed with her mum , ,, she smiled getting bored, yes ,,,this will be one of my biggest fears , but again im thinking far to much ahead here, i have built my own house in the past , its somethink i would consider doing again , or property maintenance odd job man,just for somthing to do,, but who knows what do you guys do to pass the day ? i would be living in songkhla so this is not too isolated, are there any britts group meeting there, ? going back to the origanal plan , 3 weeks in los, then make that big decission, i dont think its a difficult choice, considering what i have here in the uk, and my thinking is, in life im only here once, and this is just a new chapter of my life, im at a stage when i need a fresh start and if it all turns to sh***t, i just move back to uk, i think this is a case of being in los to find out if its what i want or not, but i have to make the move to find out
|
|
#17
29-02-2008, 17:12
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
These are the sort of assumptions that are going to land you in the sh1t. How many guys do you think she is chattin with online ? Has she waved goodbye to all of them ? Tread very carefully my friend......and be sure to order your RtG's 3 weeks prior to departure. .
__________________
 HHplc Rose Tinted Glasses 6999 Baht each....Order NOW via PM....A Must for First Time Visitors to Phuket 
|
|
#18
29-02-2008, 17:29
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Seen a lot of university students in Soi 6 Pattaya (even Mai Chob may remember one), and Soi Thanya (BKK) in the Japanese bars. What makes you think that Thai teacher's wages are so high that she can provide for a comfortable life for you, being farang?
|
|
#19
29-02-2008, 18:01
|
||||
|
||||
|
[quote=kanya;445976]well guys, i know at the moment my head is in the clouds its just a bit difficult getting my feet down to the ground .
Go for it mate lifes to short , just dont sell that house....and bring all that cash over here, summit to fall back on safety cush you know...
|
|
#20
29-02-2008, 18:45
|
|||
|
|||
|
mav,,,, excuse my ignorance could you enlighten me on this
"Tread very carefully my friend......and be sure to order your RtG's 3 weeks prior to departure". ? ok its difficult to expalin how i know that she is genuine you have to be there , but i take note of what you are saying , if she is not,, she is the best actress and deception scam that was ever pulled , , but i dont think anyone would go to so much trouble , (we spend hours every day talking on web cam) this is how it is at the moment , i have bought my flight ticket Lhr to bkk return,£560 she has paid for flights from hat yai to bkk, bkk to chiang mai return trips,for mine as well, paid all the deposits for hotels, i offered to send her the money but she insists it is not nessasary, , she sends me the proof reciept although she tells me she earns enough money so i do not need to worry, i am able to support myself so its not a money issue, as a few on here have already said , its a whole new culture, and way of living, if i can addapt to this only time will tell,,,,, here i go again jumping the gun ,,,,,as i havent been there yet, anyways guys wont be back untill monday so enjoy the weekend, 
|
|
#21
29-02-2008, 18:50
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
This thread may help. 
__________________
Member of Phuket Hash House Harriers
|
|
#22
29-02-2008, 18:57
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Sorry l thought you said you have never been to LOS.......so you can tell she is genuine via a webcam ? l didn't realise our Rose Tinted Webcams have already been sold to the public....l must start taking a more hands on role. well as you say, she has purchased some tickets and made some deposits......so thats cool. Still think you should tread carefully.......and try and not let her see your eye's popping out of your sockets when girls half her age smile at you in that way they can do over there. Mind you she may be pre-occupied with some emails she has to send off. Good Luck with your project.
__________________
HHplc Rose Tinted Glasses 6999 Baht each....Order NOW via PM....A Must for First Time Visitors to Phuket
|