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#1
08-08-2004, 22:54
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The Bargirl's Ten Commandments
THE BARGIRL'S TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. Between December and March many farang walking ATM machines will come to your bar. Choose carefully! Everyone have money, but some have more than others. If his skin is very white, check that he is not dead. If not so, this is your lucky day since he must be a Japanese. Every bar girl know they will give you heaven and earth just for a kiss.  2. No matter how young and handsome he is, no matter how fun he is, make sure he understand you only go for money. Don't sit close to him before he has paid the bar fine. As soon he has paid the bar fine, you can let go and run your hands over his body, arousing him. Maybe he will not pay you, but your boss will not complain. Have fun this night for tomorrow only man you will get is a fat, ugly and smelly man. 3. Start collecting email addresses from all of your boyfriends. Since it will be your family's source to a life in luxury. Once you have a good collection of addresses, a visit to your local internet cafe is in order. All of those email addresses should be sent an email. Tell them that you want out of the bar scene and will wait for them to come back to Thailand on their annual four weeks holiday. But you will need financial support since you don't work in the bar anymore. It will not take long time before all of your five boyfriends will transfer money to your bank account every month. And if you should party too much and need some more money, just tell them you have been sick and have to pay hospital 5.000 baht. If that doesn't help never use the story about you being pregnant and the baby is his as it will soon or later backfire on you. 4. Practice crying on queue. Whenever something sad or bad happens - or even something that you just don't like, it is essential that you can produce tears immediately. This will have the effect of helping the walking ATM machine to see things your way!  5. When you get a customer for more than a week, make sure he takes you shopping at the nearest gold shop. Tell him that all your friends have so much gold but you have nothing. Make sure he buy enough gold so your friends will envy you. Later when one of your boyfriends forget to send the monthly money, a pawn shop is never far away.  6. To keep our trade secrets for ourselves do not speak Thai with your friends when locally based farangs are inside the bars. But rather use Lao, Khmer or any other local dialects that you may know. It's bad enough that some of them can speak, and God forbid, some can even read Thai too, but Laos and Khmer should be kept as sacrosanct. Under no circumstances should the farang be taught our regional dialects.  7. Always see him off at the airport. Thai baht cannot be used in his country, so it is highly likely that he will give you all of his leftover as he leaves and says good-bye. Say no to the money, tell him you like him very much and don't need it. And if you have a few baht in your pockets give it to him so he understand you love him and not because of the big money he send you every month. 8. Search for Norwegian customers. They understand that we like to gamble as they do too. And since they have bad conscience for not taking care of their parents, they will always pay when your mother call the restaurant where you work, for you to send her more money. Your mother knows that since you work in Phuket you always have money. 9. Remember, when you get paid, you must always ask for money to Tuk-Tuk and give him the excuse that Tuk-Tuk drivers cannot give change on big notes. Do not let him know that you live only a few hundred meters from his hotel, instead tell him that you live in Karon. That should earn you another 200 baht. If Tuk-Tuk money isn't forthcoming, see rule #4.  10. If you are no longer making money in Bangkok, move down to Phuket where you will be able to start making money again. There are many elderly men in Phuket who will appreciate your long experience with men. Even if you are approaching 50, it is no problem as the elderly walking ATM machines appreciate inner beauty and more experienced women  
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#3
19-07-2006, 13:31
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Quote:
What is this about Norwegian? are Thai girls sure that people from north (norwegians and such) are more stupid than other europeans ? Seems that japanese are more rich than any others too. For those who are married with Thai girls, when did you know exactly that she really loves you? How can you know this? Anyway they are in a very poor country, are they really maried with you for you? like for real love? I'm talking about trust, as i hardly trust anybody, (very harldy trust somebody). How much time you were with your thai girl before getting married? months? 1, 2 years? Tell me i m very curious.
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#4
19-07-2006, 14:42
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Quote:
You see, hlq2noaction, it is not that we are stupid, then we wouldn't have so much more money than other europeans, i.e. people from Belgium. But thaigirls know we are very generous and we love to share our wealth with them. We are only four million people in Norway, but we are well-known all over the world for our good hearts.  F
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#5
19-07-2006, 14:42
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heres a linksome good info on this site reckon there forum is good too
http://www.phuket-info.com/bargirl.htm
__________________
MAY THE BEER BE COLD AND ALL YOUR BETS WINNERS 
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#6
19-07-2006, 14:47
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#7
19-07-2006, 16:02
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Good heart... or good money.
Now i know it s the same word in LOS.
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#8
19-07-2006, 16:11
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Quote:
I hate to say it, but i just can't help myself................. Buddy, you are a fool!!!
__________________
Sleep is for the weak
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#9
19-07-2006, 16:40
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Agree 100%......and i canīt wait to meet this guy in September..but again i doubt that he will ever come to LOS..  jesper_dk
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#10
19-07-2006, 17:47
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Must have done a lot of searching..... This thread is 2 years old...
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#11
19-07-2006, 18:20
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At least hlq2noaction is occupied with serching, and not posting too many of his thoughts about LB's. If he ever gets to LOS I think he will be a regular customer in SC, with diet cokes and LB's.  F
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#12
19-07-2006, 18:34
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Ya right 2 years old... but nothing changed!
I will come but maybe not at bar... Will try instead going around the island and doing maybe some watersports (i like kayaking). I begin to fear thaï girls (and everyone who wants my money). It will reminds me the walks in the streets of Tunisia. The guy who told me to bring with me 2.500 € for my 2 weeks did scare the shit outta me. Anyway it s not my kind to stay all the day at bar drinking. (i hardly drink 1 liter of beer).
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#13
19-07-2006, 18:42
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About LB's (laydobys?) Well depends, i did read in a thread someone who was attacked by them along the beach street at night (i remember he said : 1 monster came, then another, then another) like in Zombie films.
I think i had a nightmare about this (i love zombie films but zombie ladyboy thiefs would be great to renew the zombie kind of films). Did not search yet about night walking, but is this that dangerous? Is there somes zones to avoid at all cost in phuket. (not only in patong) at night and day? (don t think there is a thread about this too).
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#15
19-07-2006, 20:05
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>>Did not search yet about night walking, but is this that dangerous?<<
Walking around Patong is absolute hell at night...and for one so young, 24 aren't you, you'll be very vulnerable...best you only go out at night with a bodyguard to hold your hand. You'll be walking past a bar and 3 or 4 beautiful small brown ladies will grab hold of you and drag you in kicking and screaming and plonk you down on a barstool and then enquire as to what you are going to drink. It's likely then that one will grab your arm and start interrogating you wanting to know exactly where you have come from; how long you are going to stay in her manor; how old you are; how many dependant wives and children you have back home; where you are staying in Patong; have you come alone and she'll continue to bombard you with a multitude of extremely personal questions also slipping in a suggestion at some point that you buy her a drink so that you can continue to enjoy her company. Once a drink is in front of her the mood will relax somewhat (she's then already earnt a few baht of your generosity) and you'll be invited to play some games like connect 4 or dominos. By now she'll be smiling at you and fluttering her eyelids and sitting close, occasionally leaning against you and putting her hand on your leg even. An hour later and a couple more drinks each and she's just about sitting in your lap, and maybe grinding her firm small bottom into your crotch...she'll have noticed you are aroused by now and will make a suggestion that she "goes with you". By this time she'll have worked her magic on you and you will just agree to whatever she says...unless you're gay...you're not gay are you? Another thing that can happen out walking Patong at night is you could find yourself in one of the Pool bars where if you've ventured in alone (without your bodyguard) you will be forced to play with one of the female staff. Now it's outrageous but they usually wear tight jeans or extremely short skirts, tight little open tops and you will have little choice but to watch as they bend over the table to play their shots and the end result will be that they will win far more games than you. Then there are the GoGos...god forbid you accidentally find yourself in one of them. Say you did manage to get around Patong at night and managed to enjoy yourself you still have the problem of getting back to your hotel and if you are walking there are all sorts of perils along the way. There will be dozens of foodcarts to negotiate with yet more ladies calling out to you to come and try their meat (delicious barbecued animals on sticks). You'll also have to put up with beautiful ladies on motorbikes pulling up alongside you asking you to go with them....best not to though...as they're not ladies. These are just a few of the many dangers you face when walking Patong at night. I'm sure other BMs will be along shortly to warn you of a few more.
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#16
19-07-2006, 20:20
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Quote:
Ya gotta beware of the "TROLLS" as well
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#17
20-07-2006, 04:08
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Thank you Landofsmiles for your very precise response, and ok i will need to guess, YES I AM A TROLL, i may now search for one Tshirt with TROLL warning on it, don t know if the thaï girls knows what is a TROLL, but they will see.
 Most of my friends told me i was more about a KLINGON than a TROLL. I think that TROLLS likes to eat some fatteys, so you better all watch your back! Now that i m unhide, what can i do in patong?  Quote:
Assuming any girl found on a motorbike at night are Ladyboys?? I suppose she will ask me to pay drinks, if i decline, what will happen?
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#18
20-07-2006, 04:11
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For my bodyguard, i did warn my Kazakh girl to come meet me in thaïland, even if she will not come, will find a japanese girl in the hotel travelling alone to protect me!
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#20
20-07-2006, 05:01
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Yes sure hlq2action , the thing about Norwegians are absolutly true .. ive heard it seans i was a little boy  Quote:
In one swing ??  Quote:
For some people YES  Quote:
Just ask her to take you home itīs a free ride She will beat you up with her pink handbag
__________________
CS//  
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#21
20-07-2006, 05:17
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Thai girls hitting me? without jokes?
I m used to this, the Kazakh girl did kick me many times on my legs, because i did not explain some jokes done by tunisian people (they speak arab and second language is french i think). in french. She was very angry not understanding what we said, but everytime was laughting with a tunisian guy, i was unable to translate it in english, so i did laught, and i can remember her with her face changing... Because she had non other response than my laught... then it was a 30 minutes of fights... i mean she s in bad mood, shouting, and even crying!! this is a picture of her in a good mood. .jpg) this is a picture of her when she gets angry (better **** off) .jpg) And this is the pictures of the room the night i did leave the room, she did destroy my stuff and some dishs (we used to get up very late, most of the time after 12, because i like to stay bed with miss long time )She did pay for the hotel next week for me but had absolutely had to get back to belgium for my work... (she did not understand this because i think she s rich). .jpg) .jpg) And i can tell you i don t want this kind of things happen again, this costs me my mp3 player, cd player, glasses. But even after all this, i did offer her my big case (really love her and still do!) so i did left lot of clothes left there. Hope the thai girls not so wild.
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#22
20-07-2006, 05:17
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sorry for the pictures quality, was taken with a nokia 6600
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