You do not say how old you are! Difference between 45 and 70!
Now it all depends at what time of the year you come. I came with a friend of mine (wd) and he was absolutely shocked about Patong wich was packed at x-mas time! Even for me it was to frantic.
In Karon, just over the hill, and Kata a bit further athmosphere is much quieter, even in that period. I had 2 small regular bars, one of them had a pool, with some girls around. It was also no problem to take girls from somewhere else (same-same in Patong).
If you prefer Patong, once you have a girl, there are some bars, where a band is playing, where you can have a drink and enjoy the music.
Outside this period, the Sois are quieter and more relax. Fun to have a drink and talk to the blokes at mT bar, as you have read all over the board, Nicke is a wonderfull host.