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#1
12-06-2005, 00:48
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BG v non BG
Hi, BG are great for a short period, but if you want a Thai girl for a longer period would n't it be better to find a Thai woman who may be more inteliigent, especially if you want to marry one. There seems to be so many Thai laidies on the dating sites on here (free ones) that don't work in bars, (Well they say they don't). So why not contact one before you go and and meet her out there.
Obviously if its only sex then the BG is fine. I know you could meet one who said they didnt work in a bar and then you find they do, but it could be worth taking a chance. Last year I spent a week in BKK with a very nice lady whio worked for the TV station who I met through MSN chat. Alas it didnt work out, but at least it didnt cost me a anything.lol Are there a lot of non BG lovelys looking for their European mate. 
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#2
12-06-2005, 01:07
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If you fall in love, does it cares what history she has? Ok, maybe you dont have to tell your friends and family the whole truth, but who the fukc cares? Dont we all have a history and alot of skeletons in the closet?
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#4
12-06-2005, 01:24
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I think you missed the point
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For sure love is the great equalizer, but loves doesn't always happen at first sight. Love can often happen over a long period of time, and hence the post of nickboyuk makes perfect sense to me. Perhaps a thread like this is a good thread to list the pros and cons, of a BG vs a non-BG, before one falls in love. As for skeletons in the closet, there are small skeletons, and there are BIG SKELETONS. Its all relative.
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#5
12-06-2005, 02:01
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You say it didn't cost anything ? Was your flight and hotel free ? I wouldn't like to guess how many on dating sites are in fact bg's but it has been said before by many on various sites that many bg's all across asia (not just thailand) use these sites to try and attract a rich, potential husband. Some guys have even recognised ladies they paid the barfine for in the past. Many of us just go for a good holiday and great sex with a few beers and laughs mixed in, certainly not looking to marry. Have you any idea of the complexities that can be involved when trying to meet and marry a woman in this way ? A woman whose background and culture is so very different to your own ? It ain't an easy thing to do..trust me. There are marriage agency's all over BKK for the purpose of thai/western marriages but this issue is far deeper than you may realise. Many thai's find it very difficult to live in another country for example. To say they ''may be more intelligent'' suggests that you have no idea about the life of a bg and what her IQ may or not be. The majority may not have great educations due to lack of good schools etc..but many are very intelltigent in more ways that you imagine. I would also be confident in saying they often earn more in a week (on average) than the lady at the TV company earns in a month. It may not be a respectable job like the TV company but it pays much better. Some ladies even have several western men sending money to thier bank accounts monthly, you say that may not be smart ? Go figure ? Why exactly did your msn meeting not work out ? I'm curious
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#6
12-06-2005, 02:24
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Too me there is no big difference between BGs and "Normal" girls, both want money from you but the normal girls are harder to get rid of if it doesnt work out well. It also get more serious faster.
"Normal" girls isnt always the best ways to go according to those I know who tried.
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#7
12-06-2005, 02:44
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Of course the flight and hotel would cost, but I was going out on holiday anyway. It is good to see that this has opended up a discussion. I have been with several BG in previous visits so thought I would try a different way. It is not easy to hold a conversation with a lot of BG, and i know some are different and may have have had a good education. But would you rather take home a girl who has only had one other partner or one that lost count after her first month at work. And money is not everything when yu are looking for you own girl. You don't worry about it at home. It didnt work out , just like meeting anyone the first time, whether it be a Thai girl or an English one. The second week was good in Pattaya though Be out there for my 6th visit in September so who knows what will happen.
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#8
12-06-2005, 03:16
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Don`t want to be harsh, but who are you to say bg`s have less iq then others? Don`t forget its still a "no" to the most thai woman to marry farangs. Its the exception. IMO its like Tarzan said: If you really love someone you don`t care about what was before. Otherwise its not love (thats what i think).  Hugo
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#9
12-06-2005, 04:18
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Well said mate; we all have a history
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#10
12-06-2005, 04:20
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Hey Void, I think we covered this subject before? My opinion is that it is the girl that matters, what she did for a living before you met should not be the biggest of big deals. IMHO of course.
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#11
12-06-2005, 05:49
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Agreed - we did discuss this
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When I lived in Thailand, for the most part, I tried to stick with LT and ST and no long term relationships, and the last thing I wanted was marriage. Albeit thats easier to talk about and write about, than it is to actually succeed in following completely, especially with so many wonderful women (BG and non-BG) in Thailand. On a couple occasions when I thought I might try and develope a serious "long term couple" relationship with a BG, it didn't take me long to realize the gap between us was too big. With one BG the gap was a mixture of age, maturity, and the simple fact I had a good heart for her while the main attraction for her was my perceived money (in her eyes). With the other BG while there may have been a mutual attraction, a larger than normal language barrier, different backgrounds/education, and a complete lack of trust on both sides ensured things could never get past that of a good friendship. In the end, a friendly rapport with a non-BG ended up developing to that of a "steady" girlfriend, and finally to a live in girlfriend and then a wife. And while I still have "a very good heart" for both of the two BG's I once knew, and I still think and wonder about them, I also believe I could never have had the same rapport with them that I have with my wife. And I believe the reasons are related to the relative distance between the various backgrounds. But as you said, we've been through this before. Anyway, I myself would recommend no one go on a few week vacation to Thailand specifically looking for long term love and marriage. Far better to go with a motive of having "fun" and receiving a "cultural education".
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#12
12-06-2005, 05:54
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Sorry, but if you are looking for love you are going the wrong way about it.Love happens!! You cannot program in your perfect women.If you go looking for a specific type of woman, thats not love.How many men and women for that, could predict the person they ended up with.
There are so many things that make up a relationship, its not like buying a car. As for intelligence, you could end up with someone who is as thick as pig sh*t but you still love them and before anyone says anything, it works the same for women. Dont bother to travel to Thailand, just send your details to a computer agency, specify exactly what you want in a woman and they will match you up.A perfect match every time bt it aint love.
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#13
12-06-2005, 05:54
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Nobody said something else.... Good advice!!!  But sometimes it just happens.... hugo
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#14
12-06-2005, 06:59
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Its all very well saying love is love and nothing else matters. However we would probably all prefer a girl that has less miles on the clock than one thats been shagging since the year dot.
Well I would anyway!
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#15
12-06-2005, 07:04
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Perhaps BG vs non-BG is best left explored
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But as for "nobody" saying something else, well while I do think nicboyuk's topic of BG vs non-BG may be worth exploring, nickboyuk's post also did have a few strange (to me) "angles", and I quote one ..... Quote:
Going to Thailand as a tourist, thinking in the back of one's mind that marriage is a possibility if one gets lucky (my wording), is not IMHO a good way to approach a visit to Thailand. As I think the experienced hands will agree, the best approach, as a tourist, is to go to have a lot of "fun" and have a "cultural" experience.  I think the Thai expat's are the one's with the best chance of meeting the "right" lady, and even their attempts can be fraught with failure. However on this topic, I think I am reading more posts from the "tourist" types, than I am reading from the "expats", so without a balanced input, maybe this is a topic best unexplored. Last edited by void : 12-06-2005 at 07:40.
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#16
12-06-2005, 07:33
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There are a large number of exceptions IMHO
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I would agree that a "normal" TG who has no money, and a BG who has no money, are both likely to find the relatively larger amount of money that a male falang has to be one of the attractive qualities. And while I agree than "on average", a normal TG will also find money attractive, there are many exceptions, especially if one can find a "normal" TG from a middle class family. There are a fair number of Thai girls, who come from middle class families, or indeed even upper class families, where the family has just as much money, or in some cases even more money, than the average single male expat, and also more than the average single male tourist. In cases like that, if the Thai lass takes a shining to one, then its not the male falang's money that is the attractive feature. A common misconception is the lasses from this type of background are often untouchable/unreachable. That is not always the case for a variety of reasons. While I lived in Thailand, I heard many male expats cynically say the very thing that you posted (about both wanting money). Of course they were also the same ones who visited only the seedier side of the nightlife, but never participated in activities, where a difference part of Thai society frequented. Of course, one is not going to find a lass like that in a Beer Bar, a Massage Parlour, in an A-Go-Go-Bar, nor in a department store as a lass behind the counter, nor in a restaurant as a waitress ... Now this is not to say that a lass from any of those venues are not worth knowing, as I know for a fact (having met and spent time with many) that there are many nice lasses from those venues. But my point is the poor BG/TG (who find money the defining attractive factor) are not the only nice lasses in Thailand. A single male expat, who frequents the right places, has a greater chance (than a single male tourist) to meet the "right" lass from a middle class family. But of course a forum such as "phuket-info.com" doesn't explore that side of Thailand, nor would I expect it to. Which is perhaps where my views differ from "main stream western society", and approach more of that of the monger's on this forum. From what I have read, there are more tourists than expat's participating on this forum, and for the single male tourists on this forum, I think going to Thailand for a enjoyable time (via ST and LT with some of the willing local populace) is a very acceptable way to enjoy Thailand, while learning some of the culture along the way. Last edited by void : 12-06-2005 at 07:50.
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#17
12-06-2005, 07:50
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But not everyone who looks for a girlfriend/wife looks only in a place to get the "middle" or "upper" class lady. So i wouldn`t do in germany. Sorry, but you sound to classify people about their social standard. Nothing for me. Hugo
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#18
12-06-2005, 08:00
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Misconceptions can indeed cause different interpretations
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As for "Germany", mate you don't know the first thing about what country I originate from, nor which countries I have spent the various years of my life in. IMHO, by your mentioning Germany, you are way off the mark as to what observations you are drawing from anything that I have written. The country of Germany has literally nothing to do with this thread, so I havent' a clue why you raised it. Cheers!
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#19
12-06-2005, 08:06
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Very simple in your profile your location is "germany". So i thought (and about you wrote) your from germany. If its not true than sorry for this. I am from germany and your comments just sounded like a typical german. (so i am).
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#20
12-06-2005, 08:12
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Agree with you! But as you mentioned if love is strong enough.... Hugo
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#21
12-06-2005, 08:14
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Its rather late in Germany
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I have lots of German friends, and I do love the country of Germany, and I currently live here in Germany (and I've been here for over 5 years), but I'm not German. (and its past 3am and time to go to bed!).
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#22
12-06-2005, 08:19
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