advise please

[wineman]

Hi everybody...im brand new to this site..so bare with me,im looking for some advise or should i say opinions..and i think this is the place to get it..so i will give as much info as possible...
On my second visit to LOS in MAY this year i met a girl in a go go in pattaya, who had been dancing for 2 months and before that she worked in a restaurant...now i know this to be true..as i did some asking around,plus i saw a photo of all the girls taken a few months before ...she was not in the photo,plus it wasnt her that showed me the photo..she is a verry small and timid girl...not your usuall pattaya kind..i spent 2 weeks with her..sure i bought her a few things,nothing major..but what i want to point out is ..she asked me for nothing..it took me all my time to buy her a watch..
At the end of my holiday she said she wanted to go home to her city..se saket and spend time with her mum and daughter..(no boyfriend or husband) as she hated her job..the day before i left i bought her a ticket and put her on a coach to se saket and said i would try and help her out and send her some money.
Ive been sending her between 5 and 8000 per month....(STUPID I HEAR YOU ALL SAY) as long as she stayed home and did not return to pattaya..i phoned her about twice a week..never on the same days,when i did call i could hear a dog barking and kids playing..and with the little thai i know spoke to her mother...so i know she is home working the farm
Went back in OCT for three weeks ..again the day before i left the uk i spoke to her mother..and was invited to her home for a few days...had a good time ..met the dog and kids which made me start to put a bit more trust in her...when i send money its always through western union to se saket..and she is the only one who can collect...but because of all the bad stories of thai girls and all the cons....im still cautious...plus when i was there in oct i took two friends and whenever they bf any girls if my girl got talking to them and found out they had boyfriends ...she would tell me..im starting to trust my gf more and more...
I guess what im asking on this site is....should i still be cautious ?...i know she is at home....she has done everything i asked...ive checked her phone..when im with her no farang calls...she writes down every tx i send her...shes on her second book..im looking for some opinions before i invest anymore money or emotions as im starting to feel very strongly about her...does anybody think there is a con here ?,..perhaps something i cant see ?...my friends think she is telling me the truth 100 per cent ......have i found a diamond in the rough ?
thanks...wineman

[Dodger]

You will get a lot of negative replies, truth is no one really knows and only time will tell you. From my experience you should not let down your guard. I think I may have found a diamond in the rough but only been together 10 months and still cautious, think its best, you are dealing with a person with a totally different upbringing and set of values, never try to apply western logic or meaning to responses or actions from a thai.

They do not have have any long term game plan as some guys on here think, if bad things do happen in the future it has definately not been planned but will have occurred as a series of recent events, Thais do not plan anything further ahead than a few minutes and then turn up late.

[wineman]

You will get a lot of negative replies, truth is no one really knows and only time will tell you. From my experience you should not let down your guard. I think I may have found a diamond in the rough but only been together 10 months and still cautious, think its best, you are dealing with a person with a totally different upbringing and set of values, never try to apply western logic or meaning to responses or actions from a thai.

They do not have have any long term game plan as some guys on here think, if bad things do happen in the future it has definately not been planned but will have occurred as a series of recent events, Thais do not plan anything further ahead than a few minutes and then turn up late.

Thanks doger..i WILL keep my guard up..im going back in march for 2 weeks to stay with her family..then the whole of oct..ill take it from there...thanks for the advise

[TanMan]

Based on what you have written here, it seems as if you did meet someone who truly wanted to get out of the business. But I would ask her why she got into the business in the first place.

I once met a gogo dancer in Phuket (from Roi Et originally) that I barfined for two weeks straight so I got her story. She and her sister had a t-shirt business in Bangkok, and it seems that her parents (who also had a small business in Roi Et) got into a financial predicament and asked her to work in Phuket to help them out financially. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, after weeks of resistance, she agreed to work for 3 months which would be enough time to earn what her parents needed financially. She also thought, at the time, that it might be a way to meet a foreign husband along the way (she had recently broken up with a LT Thai boyfriend and in her mind was tainted goods).

After my trip, we spoke every couple of weeks or so (she would call me) just to stay in touch (she never asked for money), and after her three month term, she did quit. Well, the communication between us eventually died. About a year later, I wandered into the same gogo bar, and a friend of hers told me she had recently married an Italian guy and was now living in Italy!!! Good on her as she deserved it.

So, my point is that there may be more than one of you out there. Maybe 1 other, maybe 2, maybe 3. Maybe sending money, maybe not. You're just never going to know unless you are with her 24/7 for an "extended" period of time. Thai girls that enter the biz and even those that don't enter the biz don't usually put all their eggs in one basket (and why should they).

Good luck, and maybe try reading "Thailand Fever" until your next trip over there.

The TanMan

[nickboyuk]

Good luck to you Wineman. Go with your feelings, if it doesn't work out then you haven't lost that much and have had fun along the way.

[wineman]

Based on what you have written here, it seems as if you did meet someone who truly wanted to get out of the business. But I would ask her why she got into the business in the first place.

I once met a gogo dancer in Phuket (from Roi Et originally) that I barfined for two weeks straight so I got her story. She and her sister had a t-shirt business in Bangkok, and it seems that her parents (who also had a small business in Roi Et) got into a financial predicament and asked her to work in Phuket to help them out financially. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, after weeks of resistance, she agreed to work for 3 months which would be enough time to earn what her parents needed financially. She also thought, at the time, that it might be a way to meet a foreign husband along the way (she had recently broken up with a LT Thai boyfriend and in her mind was tainted goods).

After my trip, we spoke every couple of weeks or so (she would call me) just to stay in touch (she never asked for money), and after her three month term, she did quit. Well, the communication between us eventually died. About a year later, I wandered into the same gogo bar, and a friend of hers told me she had recently married an Italian guy and was now living in Italy!!! Good on her as she deserved it.

So, my point is that there may be more than one of you out there. Maybe 1 other, maybe 2, maybe 3. Maybe sending money, maybe not. You're just never going to know unless you are with her 24/7 for an "extended" period of time. Thai girls that enter the biz and even those that don't enter the biz don't usually put all their eggs in one basket (and why should they).

Good luck, and maybe try reading "Thailand Fever" until your next trip over there.

The TanMan

thanks for the advise TanMan.....i was with her 24/7 for 3 weeks in oct..and i dont recall her getting any tx...plus she had written down every tx i sent from day 1...we send about 5 per day...is this normal ?..most of her calls were from her mother...

[wineman]

Good luck to you Wineman. Go with your feelings, if it doesn't work out then you haven't lost that much and have had fun along the way.

Thanks nickboy...i tend to go with my feelings..i do believe she is being straight with me ...but its nice to get another opinion....from the outside...thanks again

[les1999]

Well wineman I believe you do have to tread carefully but just to let you know - I have a Thai g/friend of 8 months and actually met her in the MTB.
BF'd her for about 2 weeks and really hit it off, she is an older lady, 38, which to me is reasonably young and she wasn't a very good BG as she didn't seem to get any customers.
Anyway I have been over twice since and go again in 2 weeks and, yes, I to have met the family and, yes, I do send her money, about 15000baht per month (not a lot of money for me I might add).
I did all the checking etc, etc and everything panned out o.k. even had a friend call her over in the MTB before she left and she wouldn't go to him...555555
I trust her 100% and cannot catch her out about anything and I will continue to support her until we either break up or whatever - true to say tho' that if it turns out well I shall be getting her over to Australia next year for a few months then I shall live in Thailand for 6 months and by then we will both know if it will work.
Enjoy your g/friend while you can, if the money is not breaking you then keep it up, if you do trust and love her then give it a go, if you dont you may live to regret it........then again that may happen anyway......but if you dont 'give' you certainly will never 'get'.
Good luck to you.

p.s. - many farang women will take you for a great deal more (money) and still break your heart......and they're not half as attractive......!!!!!!!...5555555

[LivinLOS]

thanks for the advise TanMan.....i was with her 24/7 for 3 weeks in oct..and i dont recall her getting any tx...plus she had written down every tx i sent from day 1...we send about 5 per day...is this normal ?..most of her calls were from her mother...

While I hope and wish the absolute best for you and am a believer that these things can work..

Keeping full records of all communication is a common thing done.. I have seen BG's who had files and detailed notes on what each person they have been in comms with said.. That way they can review notes, letters, previous statements so as not to say the wrong thing..

Would not have believed it myself if I hadnt seen it considering how scatty some are but have seen files of correspondance divided up listed by punter etc.. 3 star punters and 5 star punters.. Amazing !!

Also money sent via western union can be picked up anywhere in Thailand providing she has the western union number.. I can collect money in Phuket sent to Khon Khen as long as I have the MTCN number.

Just making you aware of these things, not saying either are relevant.

[brit]

The fact that she's at home is a major indicator towards things being ok I think. The worst case scenario and the most likely one is that there is a Thai boyfriend in the background, that is very possible. Especially as she is back in the village now the father of the kid probably won't be far.

ive checked her phone..when im with her no farang calls...she writes down every tx i send her...shes on her second book..

I do have to say these aren't relevant to trusting her...don't get trapped into considering factors like these important. If anything that book she's got seems suspicious as it's a classic BG tactic to keep notes so they don't get caught out later saying the wrong thing/confusing the guy with another.

I think dodger has already said it best, if you take heed of one sentence in this thread it should be this one: "truth is no one really knows and only time will tell you. From my experience you should not let down your guard."

Financially there's no need to get more involved as the 8000 is more than enough in the village. Emotionally...well you can't avoid it but same same any relationship.

[Mav]

Only negative l see about your scenario is the possibility of a Thai BF.......if your not around it would l think be virtually impossible to find out.

[LivinLOS]

C'mon lads.. We can have a whip round to send him home surely

[Maverick351]

Enjoy your g/friend while you can, if the money is not breaking you then keep it up, if you do trust and love her then give it a go, if you dont you may live to regret it........then again that may happen anyway......but if you dont 'give' you certainly will never 'get'.
Good luck to you.

p.s. - many farang women will take you for a great deal more (money) and still break your heart......and they're not half as attractive......!!!!!!!...5555555

Hi Wineman, Good Luck to you, and hope it all works out. As less1999 quoted, all too true, just remember that if you can afford to send that amount, stick to it regardless, as if you start to increase it ...say 20,000 thb...then she or the family will expect it every month. I find that when i seem to stay with my TGF in villiage, always someone calling in and wanting to sell something to family etc. You will find that once people know that a Thai family may have a prospective Falang in the family, then requests for money assistance increases and purchasing items for home. I have no trouble when it comes to purchasing items if it helps and makes the family a little bit more comfortable....remember that if you keep returning back to the family home these comforts will comfort you when your there as well. (Bedroom Fan)

I've been upfront from the start, and you will need to be as well, this will help stop any issues, as most problems will eventually be about money. It seem's to cost me more money going to the villiage these days than going back and staying with her in Bangkok/ Phuket.

Anyway I wish you the best, and this board is full of info if you want to find out or ask some question. or PM me and I can tell you what I have experienced, whcih might help you.

[les1999]

As maverick351 mentioned it can be more costly at the family home however my g/friend owns her own house and when I went there I bought some food and beer and all up it cost me about AU $50 - not much for 3 days really plus her mother was cross at her for letting me pay for everything....!!!!!!!!
I had a teriffic time, the family both in Petchaboon and Bangkok are always great, never a mention of money but always seem really pleased to see me..........wealthy farang syndrome...?????? - I dont know but at this stage it doesn't worry me, I speak to her every night on Voip thru my computer - really cheap and we usually chat for about 30 mins.....always good, she's doing a beauty tech course at the moment and doing well.
be happy and I hope it all goes well for you my friend.

[nickboyuk]

[QUOTE=LivinLOS;252355]
Keeping full records of all communication is a common thing done.. I have seen BG's who had files and detailed notes on what each person they have been in comms with said.. That way they can review notes, letters, previous statements so as not to say the wrong thing.

The only thing that would concern me here is her keeping records, I would have though that she wouldn't need to do this if she has only 1 man unless she is very scatty. If she has more than 1 man then this is going to help her get things right.

I hope she is just scatty

I have a problem chatting to more than 1 on the internet and remembering about them, or is that my age doing that.

[Sirgezza]

C'mon lads.. We can have a whip round to send him home surely

Nah, not from us in the UK. You've got him and you can bl00dy well keep him.

[wineman]

Hi Wineman, Good Luck to you, and hope it all works out. As less1999 quoted, all too true, just remember that if you can afford to send that amount, stick to it regardless, as if you start to increase it ...say 20,000 thb...then she or the family will expect it every month. I find that when i seem to stay with my TGF in villiage, always someone calling in and wanting to sell something to family etc. You will find that once people know that a Thai family may have a prospective Falang in the family, then requests for money assistance increases and purchasing items for home. I have no trouble when it comes to purchasing items if it helps and makes the family a little bit more comfortable....remember that if you keep returning back to the family home these comforts will comfort you when your there as well. (Bedroom Fan)

I've been upfront from the start, and you will need to be as well, this will help stop any issues, as most problems will eventually be about money. It seem's to cost me more money going to the villiage these days than going back and staying with her in Bangkok/ Phuket.

Anyway I wish you the best, and this board is full of info if you want to find out or ask some question. or PM me and I can tell you what I have experienced, whcih might help you.

Many many thanks to all of you for so much advice and varied views..i have toyed with the idea of just turning up at her house in se saket..early morning
so if there is a bf i would have a good chance of finding out...or perhaps a good PI is a better idea...tThanks again to all of you ...i will keep you posted.

[Einheriar]

Keep your wits about you...I am sure alot of BM's in here will gladly tell their story...But if it works out good for you...and may happy thoughts to you

[eric-the-viking]

well im no expert but my only advise is never let your guard down fully with any woman Thai or farang(yes been stung before but by a farang)
as for the money look at it as a donation to a worth while charity so only invest in what you can afford to lose.
yes she may be back home ,but as some one else mentioned thai b.f`s (not always easy to spot so im told)
keeping notes of texts may look caring But and may well be BUT once again keep a guard in place after all ,its how some girls learn english to text to send on to others.(but if things get serious then it can also be submitted as part of visa evidence)
The invite to the village ,if your serious about each other then go ,if your not then keep well away.
if you do go be carefull of monks with bits of string and mama and papa looking at new pick up trucks.
when in the village be prepared to have plenty of cash and your hand in your pocket.
be prepared for some major cultre shocks, i will let you find them out for your self.
other wise best of luck to you both ..

[Oggy]

I have no real experience of this but if I could offer an opinion it would be (Do what feels right and take it as quick or as slow as you feel comfortable with) Lifes short enjoy yourself and if it goes tits up and you get burnt a little put it down to a lesson learned the hard way. If you dont get burnt then your a winner. What ever happens, good luck.

[speedy]

well... now i can advise people after asking for advise for almost the same thing last year.

Never let your guard down. if you want to know more about her, bring her to stay in ur country for a period of time and you will know what she is.

ps- thanks to all those who advise me last time... i am happily married with her this year...

[LivinLOS]

Well done speedy.. Nice to hear it worked out..

[speedy]

Well done speedy.. Nice to hear it worked out..

well it work out because all of you gave some great advice to me

[H3X]

You will get a lot of negative replies, truth is no one really knows and only time will tell you. From my experience you should not let down your guard. I think I may have found a diamond in the rough but only been together 10 months and still cautious, think its best, you are dealing with a person with a totally different upbringing and set of values, never try to apply western logic or meaning to responses or actions from a thai.

They do not have have any long term game plan as some guys on here think, if bad things do happen in the future it has definately not been planned but will have occurred as a series of recent events, Thais do not plan anything further ahead than a few minutes and then turn up late.

Hi wineman. There seems to be only good news Obviously any future investment on your part depends on your long term plans......... she will follow i'm sure.

I can add my positive comments too. 1 year ago I wrote here that I had sent my BG GF home to Loei.

http://www.phuket-info.com/forums/ge...home-loei.html

We did get hitched 'buddhist' style...... but thats another story. Actually theres quite a lot i'd like to put down. But it appears that the trend is to delete threads from this relationship section rather than create them .... ala 'from the Village' thread ???

anyway i digress...

Shes still there in Loei town, working hard in her beauty salon .....and now even employs another girl to help out as shes so busy/popular. She works 8 or 9 hours a day (when its NOT raining....) and yes ive done the 'turn up unexpected' routine ..."Cha Eh tirak"... I have seen/heard/found NOTHING that suggests any TBF is sniffing around ... and i think shes too intelligent to risk her future by having some mao, tiny cocked thai poking her on the side.

Investment cost me 75k baht for a motorbike for transport and setting up a beauty salon (refurbished rental unit and all the products including 'misteen' franchise shit, TV for the ladies to watch while waiting their turn and electric appliances etc) ..... and the 10k month.

hmmmm.. and the ADSL internet connection , the notebook, the health insurance, the..... hell don't worry .. its only bits of paper called 'money'

So I would only add its not enough to send them home under the 'save-a-bargirl' charity scheme...they get bored easily so you have to keep them busy ....... maybe peeling grapes (as LIL would say) while they wait for your return.

PS congrats to you to Speedy

H3X

[wineman]

well im no expert but my only advise is never let your guard down fully with any woman Thai or farang(yes been stung before but by a farang)
as for the money look at it as a donation to a worth while charity so only invest in what you can afford to lose.
yes she may be back home ,but as some one else mentioned thai b.f`s (not always easy to spot so im told)
keeping notes of texts may look caring But and may well be BUT once again keep a guard in place after all ,its how some girls learn english to text to send on to others.(but if things get serious then it can also be submitted as part of visa evidence)
The invite to the village ,if your serious about each other then go ,if your not then keep well away.
if you do go be carefull of monks with bits of string and mama and papa looking at new pick up trucks.
when in the village be prepared to have plenty of cash and your hand in your pocket.
be prepared for some major cultre shocks, i will let you find them out for your self.
other wise best of luck to you both ..

I cant thank you guys enough for all the help..i cant talk to anybody at work about this coz all i get back is.....she is a thai and your getting ripped of...which is not what i need to hear,,,,anyway i have a update which has made me think...so once again any advice...PLEASE.....i forgot to mention that on my visit in october i did spend a few days in her home with her mother and sister,(her dad died a few years ago...) boy was it basic...so i decided to take everybody shopping..i told them to buy whatever they wanted...i was expecting them to come out with ..tv..dvd player ..perfume..ect..ect...BUT NO...the only thing bought was..a few mops and buckets..bleach..shampoo ..(cheap thai shampoo).and powder to wash clothes..the kids bought toy phones ..a ball..and a few other bits ..my total bill was 2000 bht..so on the way home i bought them 3 months supply of rice..again ...again not what i thought would happen...any way back to my update...
I tx her today and told her id booked my flight..(but didnt tell her when) and all i had to do was book the hotel..she told me not to book any hotel as i could stay with her in her home..and save some money..so i told her i would like to surprise her and just turn up at her home early morning..she said.. (no.no..not a good idea) after asking why ...she told me some guy was killed (farang)last year by a taxi driver for his money and it was not safe for a farang to travel on his own ....I THOUGHT THAI BF..told her id be ok and it was my choice...she has now tx me and said ok if thats what i want to do its ok by her...but be carefull..and sent me her address in thai and said she would send it in a letter to show the taxi driver.....my question is...if she has bf..would she be so keen and willing for me to turn up when she doesnt know when ?...she was more worried that id be on my own in pattaya for 1 night before going to sisaket..doing short time....Or am i looking for something that is not there...and etting PARANOID

[wineman]

Maybe he could hire a reputable PI to find out??

Hey, i hate my job too and wanna go and see my family, anyone willing to send me some dosh every month\??

can anybody reconmend a good reputable PI in thailand (pattaya) or near sesaket north east ?

[TanMan]

.....i forgot to mention that on my visit in october i did spend a few days in her home with her mother and sister

This is a good sign that she brought you to her hometown and a pretty big step on her part. Another good sign is that the family did not take you to the cleaners when you offered to pay for a shopping trip and they bought necessities, etc.

Her wanting to know when you are arriving is nothing to be suspicious about. Wouldn't you want to know if the situation were flipped?

What are your respective ages if you don't mind? That's also a pretty important ingredient in this recipe.

The TanMan

PS. Got any pictures of her sister???

[wineman]

This is a good sign that she brought you to her hometown and a pretty big step on her part. Another good sign is that the family did not take you to the cleaners when you offered to pay for a shopping trip and they bought necessities, etc.

Her wanting to know when you are arriving is nothing to be suspicious about. Wouldn't you want to know if the situation were flipped?

What are your respective ages if you don't mind? That's also a pretty important ingredient in this recipe.

The TanMan

PS. Got any pictures of her sister???

LOL...im a VERY young 48 and she is 23...as for her sister...thats another story...if i knew how to get a photo on here..i would post one on

[dawsey]

LOL...im a VERY young 48 and she is 23...as for her sister...thats another story...if i knew how to get a photo on here..i would post one on

Right, now we're talking
To add a pic,or up to 5 per post go to the bottom of your new post, click "manage attachments", click "Browse" and find the pic on your hard disc.
Make sure it is below 100kb (click properties of pic) and click on "upload.
Voila, a pic of your girls sister

[wineman]

Right, now we're talking
To add a pic,or up to 5 per post go to the bottom of your new post, click "manage attachments", click "Browse" and find the pic on your hard disc.
Make sure it is below 100kb (click properties of pic) and click on "upload.
Voila, a pic of your girls sister

if i was to post a pic of her sister .....you wouldnt speak to me again....nice person..but nothing to get excited about...BELIEVE ME...i was going to post one of me and the gf