What do you say about your former BG wife?

[SMF]

To all you who has a Thai wife/gf who is a former BG/gogo-dancer etc. what do you tell your family and friends?

Personally I don't really care that much that she used to work like that. But I know to my wife, then she really don't want anyone to know what she has worked as (bg). Instead we have had to come up with a lie about how we met and what she was working with etc. And especially in the beginning we hadn't 100% coordinated our stories, so where I might have told the husband of some friends one story, then she had told the wife another! Not good! She doesn't even talk to her best friends about it, although she knows that some of them has been working in Patong/Pattaya (but in hotels - not as bg's ; )...

[ItsmeG]

In Thailand she worked as a "sales". Between Thai´s here I think this "career" thing is totally irrelevant. I know former bg married to engineers, businessmen etc. and former teachers, nurses and others in "decent" jobs married to absolute losers, alcoholics etc. Anyways I never gave a f..k what people think about me and my family untill it´ll really affects us. Never had a problem.
We just don´t talk about it and people pushing for answers won´t believe anyways, only if you would response she was a bg and so they´ll can be self confident " I knew it, yes I knew it" wtf ... let them go on with their own miserable life.

But my wife isn´t really over it... when she had a glas too much it all comes out. Mainly she justifies herself on herself, there was no other way to go at that time. I would have done exactly the same in her situation !!!

I´ll never let someone hurt members of my family especially not my wife, be satisfied with my answers or piss-off

[les1999]

Many friends have asked where I met my g/f and I tell them - "in a bar" - some laugh and say, "oh a bar girl", to which I say, "well, how many girls have you met in a bar, spent around $50 on, taken home and f@cked...???? (this of course is in Australia)"

That usually shuts them up - funny that eh.

What I'm basically saying is that I dont really care what they think, however if she were here in Australia I would care if people derided her to her face - a few would probably loose teeth over it........5555555 - we would I think make up a small lie but we would make sure our stories were the same by choosing a career she did before - easier to remember.......

[Dodger]

Havn't taken my gf home to the UK yet, friends have asked what she did, I've replied honestly regarding her employment and told them we met in a nightclub, just do not mention that she was actually freelancing at the time. However, does it matter? those people will assume what they want, whatever your real circumstances.

I think if pressed, I would tell them, assuming my gf didn't mind. Problem is they will never understand unless they have been over here on holiday a few times.

My previous gf was 19 years younger than me, very good looking and figure, she was from Slovakia, so not a country you would put p4p with, she was a devout catholic and so far removed from anything like that, but I still got a few comments. 'Heh visited Russiabrides.com have we?' she's actually from Slovakia, 'Yeah same place innit?' or 'How much did you pay for her?'

Didn't get it a lot but I'm sure it would be greater with a Thai gf, unless you want to spend your life fighting, I probably think its best to turn a death one.

Regarding her occupation it would depend what my gf wanted to let people know, friends will remain friends irrespective, others?? who cares!!!!

[dennisinkamala]

Originally Posted by Dodger

who cares!!!!

Im with Bernie 100% here, whatever the gf felt comfortable with would be my decision.

However disrespect my woman at your peril, THAT, I do not turn a deaf ear to.

The comment 'who cares' really sums it up. Fcuck 'em, its your life.

[Nanook]

Originally Posted by Dodger

Regarding her occupation it would depend what my gf wanted to let people know.

I think this is a very relevant remark. In principle that is how I feel about it too.
Ta and me have discussed this already in the past and she intends to tell people that she was waitress in a restaurant where I always used to come for breakfast, etc. Same for her visa application later on, so that the story is consistant.

[buzz77]

Tell the truth and be proud....I always have!!!!! Bus Stop Girls are the bomb.....

[marc26]

this is no way in hell i would tell anybody that my gf was a bg
regardless if she didnt mind or not

i know that she wouldnt want anyone to know anyways, but i actually would not want a soul to know

[GameSpy]

I would tell them the truth, who cares where you met. as long as you love each other.

[alan steadman]

The thing is that , People dont see the uther side of a bar girl , The good ones that is . they all dont just do it for money , or husband /boyfriend, some do it to live ,you live or you die , if you are standing in the street with nothing what do you have , yourself , so you sell it . to live....

[JayBee]

I've dated girls who were hairdressers, accountants, shop girls, masseuses(legitimate, not soapies), waitresses, and such, so no problem in those cases. But, of course, I have been with even more BGs. Many of them have worked other jobs before becoming BGs, so there is no lie in saying she worked in a factory, or worked in the rice fields, or worked taking care of children(her own?).

But if the only job she ever had was as a BG, which is unlikely, IMHO, then I would say that she was a cocktail waitress in a bar, which is perfectly true. There are loads of girls here in the US who work as cocktail waitresses in bars, and there is nothing to be ashamed of for them, so why should it be any different for a BG? I am sure many of the cocktail waitresses in the US have met their husbands or BFs in their bars. Plus in the US, very few people have ever been to LOS, and even many of the ones who have been their are on packaged tours or gone to fancy resorts, or backpackers, or stayed on Khao San Road and have never seen the inside of a bar. My buddy who is going to LOS with me next week had been to LOS several times before he wandered down Sukhumvit one day, and happened into Nana Plaza. Had been there on vacation several times, spent months there each time, and had no idea!! Of course, he was young, handsome and quite the charmer(still is) in those days, so he had TGs chasing after him wherever he went, no need for BGs in those days!!

[fun2have]

it seems the first question expat thais ask each other, "where did you meet" etc,
they spend time feeling each other out about their backgrounds, its like a game of chess.

they are of course looking for the phuket/bkk (if they are a provincial girl)/pattaya answer, if the reply is in her province it usually stops the verbal fencing, especially if her partner can talk fairly freely about her family in thai to the aggresive questioner.

i think most bms involved in this question have answered it very well, to act to protect your partners heart, is very noble and totally understandable.

1 tg the wife knows well, pretends to be chinese to farangs, and thai/chinese to thais and is the *****iest person we know, which is a big call for a thai woman.

she asked my wife about 4 questions about how we met, to the wifes credit she asked about 6 questions back on how this girl met her husband, it was 0-0 draw. that girl was trying to gain the upper hand in a way only thais know how to.

my favourite is the ignorant westerners, sometimes as a joke i will say i met the wife when she was hugging a pole in soi cowboy(though i doubt i would ever be able to replace a go-go dancer from bkks earnings), but i only say it when others are about who know the wife well and her background.

i do get the mail order bride bit quite often from the real idiots, but most know that as the wife and i speak thai to each other most of the time when in public, it sort of deflates them a little bit.

[Minder]

Originally Posted by marc26

this is no way in hell i would tell anybody that my gf was a bg
regardless if she didnt mind or not

i know that she wouldnt want anyone to know anyways, but i actually would not want a soul to know

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Experienced punters, regular visitors or BMs will probably know if she was or wasn't a BG anyway - they don't need to be told. If someone needs to be told then they don't know enough to be trusted with that information so I am with marc26 on this one.

Some people here in farangland assume my wife was a BG based on the following facts - she is female, she is Thai, she is younger than me...

She laughs at the idea that she was a BG because she does not think she has a good enough body to ever earn a living selling it. If I tell her that I think XX thinks she was a BG she will wriggle her **** at me, smile and say "ohh...thank them very much".

We are friends with several other mixed couples, some were BGs, some weren't.....as Dodger said "friends will remain friends irrespective..."

One friend and ex-Bg commented to the wife that she likes this farangland for this reason - nobody seems to care about what she was - only what she IS now.

Of course, since most Australians know that there might well be a Whitechapel whroe somewhere in the branches of their own family tree we are perhaps naturally inclined to overlook such things. Enjoy.

[Nanook]

Originally Posted by Minder

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Experienced punters, regular visitors or BMs will probably know if she was or wasn't a BG anyway - they don't need to be told. If someone needs to be told then they don't know enough to be trusted with that information so I am with marc26 on this one.

Sure most of us BM's will realize that the majority (I think) of our wives or girlfriends will come from the p4p world. And I dare to say that most of us active here, do not mind about this and are just happy if a relation works out well.

I think this question is basically pointed to your home environment. Hence what will you friends at home think and/or say about your Thai lady. From that point of view, I mentioned earlier that we will tell the story where my GF will feel comfortable with.

[Minder]

Originally Posted by Nanook

.... Ta and me have discussed this already in the past and she intends to tell people that she was waitress in a restaurant where I always used to come for breakfast, etc. Same for her visa application later on, so that the story is consistant.

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Hi Nanook. I was talking about people that you and Ta will meet face to face. IMO the people that know Thailand well (be they BMs, visitors or ex-pats) will know if she was a BG or not - and it won't matter a damn to them because they know how it is. Sure, use the waitress story (which I think is a good one BTW) but don't kid yourself that you are fooling all of the people all of the time.

Sadly, some others (what fun2have accurately describes as the "real idiots") will give you the "nudge nudge wink wink" stupid grin as they ask "where did you find her?" - and no matter what you say and even if the truth is that she was a virgin living in a mountain cave - these idiots will figure they know how you really met her and what she was.

Equally, to show that these "real idiots" are everywhere I have had more than one Thai figure that my wife married me only for my money and even say so to the wife, in Thai, in front of me - them assuming of course that I would not understand what they were saying.

Finally I guess we should all remember that "So how did you two meet?" is a pretty normal question to ask any new couple and not necessarily asked for a sinister motive. Enjoy.
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"Heaven holds a sense of wonder...and I wanted to believe..."

[Nanook]

Originally Posted by Minder

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Hi Nanook. I was talking about people that you and Ta will meet face to face. IMO the people that know Thailand well (be they BMs, visitors or ex-pats) will know if she was a BG or not - and it won't matter a damn to them because they know how it is. Sure, use the waitress story (which I think is a good one BTW) but don't kid yourself that you are fooling all of the people all of the time.

Sadly, some others (what fun2have accurately describes as the "real idiots") will give you the "nudge nudge wink wink" stupid grin as they ask "where did you find her?" - and no matter what you say and even if the truth is that she was a virgin living in a mountain cave - these idiots will figure they know how you really met her and what she was.

Equally, to show that these "real idiots" are everywhere I have had more than one Thai figure that my wife married me only for my money and even say so to the wife, in Thai, in front of me - them assuming of course that I would not understand what they were saying.

Finally I guess we should all remember that "So how did you two meet?" is a pretty normal question to ask any new couple and not necessarily asked for a sinister motive. Enjoy.
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Oh but I do not really quarrel with you about this Minder. I think you make a correct statement that it can be somewhat difficult sometimes. The "real idiots" you can engage anywhere I am affraid, but I suppose most of your true friends won't bother too much. F2H described it nicely. Those "real idiots" will be those people you bump into on certain occasions.

In my circle of friends almost all of them are "well travelled" and they know many countries outside Europe. Most of them have been in LOS at least once. They know what is going on in Pattaya, Phuket and certain districts of BKK.

But what they care for is that I find happiness again AND they warned me not to get "finacially undressed" by the GF.

[Minder]

Originally Posted by Nanook

.....But what they care for is that I find happiness again AND they warned me not to get "finacially undressed" by the GF.

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....your friends want to see you happy and safe ....that is what friends should wish for you ...BTW I have followed your story on here since I arrived on the board and I'd wish the same for you to Nanook. Chok dee mate. Enjoy.
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"Heaven holds a sense of wonder...and I wanted to believe..."

[nelsonone]

haven't been in the position but imagine if I had a thai gal in the west and was asked I'd say we met in a nightclub.....as that would most probably be true.....that's where i pretty much always find my gals...same same LOS OZ or NZ

if it I was questionned about the job it would be up to her wishes......I'm sure JB's idea of cocktail waitress or waiter would work....no need to throw fuel onto the fire of someone looking for pyrotechnics

[pablo]

A couple of years ago, a guy at my golf club joined my group, for a round. He's kind of a "bible thumper", and very straight laced. He had heard from other members that I had been traveling frequently to Thailand. He has no clue where Thailand is, and always mistakenly refers to it, as Taiwan. (other morons, the same)

With a "look down the nose" expression, he asked me if I had a GF in "Taiwan"? (he'd been told)
I said , "sure". He didn't want any introductory info..just went to the heart of the matter with, "what does she do?" (more of the disapproving stare) So, I gave him what he expected (wanted) to hear. 5555 I said, "well Dave, she's a h00ker."

He gave me a pained expression, then asked me "aren't you worried about diseases?" I said, "Well yes, a little...but I usually wear a condom. Besides, my last trip over..her herpes was in remission, or whatever. So we skipped the condom, for the last couple of weeks. I'll tell you though, when I first met her...she did give me a dose of gonorrhea! We went to the clinic together, and the shots seemed to work. Also, Dave, drugs are really cheap in (Taiwan)."

The look on his face was priceless! He was in shock and horror...and has sort of steered clear of me, ever since.5555 Fvck him, with his condescending and holier than thou attitude! The three other guys in my group, did their best, to keep from laughing...as they knew I was winding the guy up!

[Mav]

Originally Posted by pablo

A couple of years ago, a guy at my golf club joined my group, for a round. He's kind of a "bible thumper", and very straight laced. He had heard from other members that I had been traveling frequently to Thailand. He has no clue where Thailand is, and always mistakenly refers to it, as Taiwan. (other morons, the same)

With a "look down the nose" expression, he asked me if I had a GF in "Taiwan"? (he'd been told)
I said , "sure". He didn't want any introductory info..just went to the heart of the matter with, "what does she do?" (more of the disapproving stare) So, I gave him what he expected (wanted) to hear. 5555 I said, well Dave, "she's a h00ker."

He gave me a pained expression, then asked me "aren't you worried about diseases?" I said, "Well yes, a little...but I usually wear a condom. Besides, my last trip over..her herpes was in remission, or whatever. So we skipped the condom, for the last couple of weeks. I'll tell you though, when I first met her...she did give me a dose of gonorrhea! We went to the clinic together, and the shots seemed to work. Also, Dave, drugs are really cheap in (Taiwan)."

The look on his face was priceless! He was in shock and horror...and has sort of steered clear of me, ever since.5555 Fvck him, with his condescending and holier than thou attitude! The three other guys in my group, did their best, to keep from laughing...as they knew I was winding the guy up!

No doubt he won't be letting you wash his balls in future.

[pablo]

Originally Posted by Mav

No doubt he won't be letting you wash his balls in future.

Never did in the past, either! 55555