Never spend more than 3 days or 2 with a BG - an emotional minefield?

[trekker]

It seems to me that never spending more than 3 days with a BG/FL has ALOT of merit. As as has been mentioned many times here before - It has the potential to really play on your emotions if you meet one that you are really compatible with and also having a great time with.

Having mongered many a time in Hong kong, Singapore, Thailand etc it never ceases to amaze me just how easy it is or can be for guys to fall into this minefield of emotions............... be it a newbie or some one with more than 20 "tours of duty".

Having recently spent 2 days with the same girl we were having a great time in every way and on the 3rd day i had to leave thailand as my holiday had ended but the issue that plays in my mind is that having been to LOS many times and also knowing the pitfalls of what can happen by spending a long time with one bg.......where does one draw the line.....and where could it have led to?

In my case even with heaps of experience i still saw myself potentially heading down the path of wanting to spend more time with her.......even though this could be dangerous from an emotional point of view.

Of course one could look from the positve side and say well maybe this could work out and evetually become a happy ending...........I suppose you never know unless you try.

It makes me wonder with many other Bm's and guys who have been to LOS heaps of times.............have you ever been in that situation as i have described? And if so what did you do?

[LOSdelights]

Absolutely!

1st time in LOS I did the usual thing- meet a really nice girl, a bit 'different', a good (bar)girl on Samui. We went to Koh Phangnan for the Full Moon Party, then when I came back to UK we stayed in touch and she was always calling me- I did have feelings for her. Was totally blind tho- went back to Samui again and then realised she was actually a total liar and psyho! Good job i never sent her any money!

So I learnt a bit from that- but since then I actually dont really do the whole 'bump and dump' thing. I like to get a connection, have some banter, get to know them a bit- and if for example I'm somewhere for about 6 or 7 days, there may be 2 or 3 girls who I juggle about. I totally have feelings for them at the time, but it does take a bit of effort sometimes to get them out of your head afterwards.

I'd be really wary tho of spending like 3 weeks with one chick- I think I would pull myself out of the situation before it got like that.

Agreed tho- it is a total emotional minefield, at least for me. I reckon it is for many of the bargirls too- I had a bargirl friend crying on me recently when she's spent a week with a guy and then he decided to change lady. Of course both parties have feelings

[Patrs]

My very first tour, I spend the entire vacation with one BG. Looking back now, she was a pro. Always needing $$ to do her hair or go to the dentist. My last tour in September, I spend most of my time with a FL I met at Tiger, she was great. In term of the emotional minefield, I try my best to avoid it by going ST in the afternoon with different ladies. For me it's a loosing battle, so little time so many ladies.

[dennisinkamala]

Im gonna try NOT to fall into that trap then. Dont wanna get burned.

[SMF]

Same same!

First tour! Meet a great girl. Had fun together. Stayed with her 3 days before going home to farangland... I didn't really have any plans with her. But back in farangland in the same old stress, then the memories about the good time in LOS was just too hard. So almost daily we still talked. All I could think about was when I would be back in paradise, back in LOS. The talks got more and more into "what if?", what if we could stay in this! I guess at one point I actually said the L-word. Talking about what if she could come to see me in Denmark. What about my kids? She also wanted kids, but I really had enough with the four girls I already have...

After 2,5 months I was back in LOS. It was a happy reunion. But already after 2 days with a lot of fun, I was seeing that it wasn't really her I was in love with. It was the whole idea about the paradise in LOS. And she just became more and more scary to me. And there was so many other wonderful girls still around. So I knew I had to end it again. But not easy, she had also made plans. She became really mean. And it didn't make it better that she worked in MTB (I think that's why most BM's say never to go with the girls from MTB!).

But two days after the breakup I could relax in MTB again. And not to make it better I was now together with another girl from MTB! One I had seen on my first trip, but except for buying a drink, I had not been with her before. But her beauty had completely spell blinded me! She was very different. When I first met her, she had only been working for 2 weeks, and according to her still not been with any farangmen. The other girl had worked in the p4p scene for years. In fact I think I had loved her from when I first saw her! When I left again from LOS after another week, I had asked her to stop her work at MTB. And today we are married and live very happy together.

With my experience in mind I would say, yes if you really don't want to get into the emotional minefield, then quit after 2 days. And don't call after you come back to farangland.

But then again, if you meet someone you really like, someone you trust, someone who haven't been spoiled completly by being in the game for too long, then why not go for it? Of cause the day to day life back in farangland is very different from the happy days in LOS, but personally I'm very very happy...

[Minder]

Originally Posted by trekker

....Having recently spent 2 days with the same girl we were having a great time in every way and on the 3rd day i had to leave thailand as my holiday had ended but the issue that plays in my mind is that having been to LOS many times and also knowing the pitfalls of what can happen by spending a long time with one bg.......where does one draw the line.....and where could it have led to?

In my case even with heaps of experience i still saw myself potentially heading down the path of wanting to spend more time with her....

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Yeah, can relate to this posting...we all have emotions.....I once was quoted as saying that heaps of "experience with bargirls just means you make the same old mistakes less often".

I feel the time comes when if you are a long term repeat monger you need to find a different type of bargirl - the ones that have accepted that Prince Charming is not going to ride over the hill and rescue them, the ones that know you will be back in six months and that they will still be there....and now a “regular” has turned up so they can drop the most of the BS, score a few bar fines towards the monthly quota and count on making enough baht to cover the back rent, pay back loans to the girlfriends, even send extra money home….her smile is one of relief as your approach….forget love and missing u much…this girl really IS glad to see you….ask any one on commission how they feel when a regular calls during a quiet week…

Yep, my advice is to find the right girl for someone who is a regular monger - you are not a newbie so don't shack up with a girl who wants one - my all time best regular was in Patong and was from a beer bar in Gonzo - I spent half a dozen trips with her and never had her mobile number or email and she never asked for mine. They know the score, you know the score and you both know they know it to. Enjoy.
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"Heaven holds a sense of wonder...and I wanted to believe..."

[The Loop]

Originally Posted by Patrs

In term of the emotional minefield, I try my best to avoid it by going ST in the afternoon with different ladies. For me it's a loosing battle, so little time so many ladies.

Great strategy buddy!!


It amazes me how many guy`s stay in LOS for 4-10 days and "fall in love"(or get sucked in,depending on how you look at it)and carry on the long distance relationship thing.

[The Loop]

Originally Posted by trekker

In my case even with heaps of experience i still saw myself potentially heading down the path of wanting to spend more time with her.......even though this could be dangerous from an emotional point of view.

You gotta keep it in the back of your head that once you have gone home she has more than likely hooked up with someone else and is doing and saying the same stuff with them.

[trekker]

I've seen some guys get really torn apart when they have heard or actually seen the "girl" bg with another guy.

Emotions can affect people differently

[Nanook]

Originally Posted by SMF

Same same!

But then again, if you meet someone you really like, someone you trust, someone who haven't been spoiled completly by being in the game for too long, then why not go for it?
Of cause the day to day life back in farangland is very different from the happy days in LOS, but personally I'm very very happy...

I agree with this statement. The hardest thing is to seperate your emotions from rationality. Use common sence go one step at the time. Anyway, that is the trail, I try to walk on. So far, so good.

About the day to day life in farangland, I hope to find that out early next year.

[Crustasian]

Think of the bar scene as like a library.

You go out and get a book.When you are finished with the book you hand it in and get a new one.

You do not get annoyed if someone else takes out that book after you.

Keeping a book for a long time can get you in trouble.

Also NEVER mark your book covers with indelible ink.

[les1999]

I was a good butterfly for 15 days then met a lady that I spent the next 13 days with - still together after 18 months plus - nuff said............'up to you' - what ever feels right cos everyone is different..........

[LivinLOS]

Originally Posted by Crustasian

Think of the bar scene as like a library.

You go out and get a book.When you are finished with the book you hand it in and get a new one.

You do not get annoyed if someone else takes out that book after you.

Keeping a book for a long time can get you in trouble.

You cant get more until you return the first ones.

keeping them out longer gets expensive.

Some of the ones that have been there a long time are getting rough around the edges.

good an@logy

[swiftdave]

Sometimes, when you find a good book, you read it over and over. Front to back, back to front. Then when you return it it's a little more worn. I like to check the card in the front cover and see who else has taken out the book.
I tend to dog ear the pages, leave notes in the margin and highlight the good parts.
Sometimes the story's not so great so I just read the dirty parts.

[pablo]

What I hate , is when you take a book out, only to find that some of the pages in the middle are "stuck" together!

(Never BF a girl, with wet hair! 5555)

[LivinLOS]

Originally Posted by pablo

(Never BF a girl, with wet hair! 5555)

ha ha.. One of the original golden rules

[dennisinkamala]

When I start reading a book I can get into it so much I lose the fecking plot.
Happens..

[nacha]

Originally Posted by Crustasian

Think of the bar scene as like a library.

You go out and get a book.When you are finished with the book you hand it in and get a new one.

You do not get annoyed if someone else takes out that book after you.

Keeping a book for a long time can get you in trouble.

Also NEVER mark your book covers with indelible ink.

yes, agree with you crusty...
maybe it's really better to stay with the same girl just some days, otherwise you'll maybe fall for her

[nelsonone]

and when reading a good book.....always look out for the sub-text!

[bayleaf]

Remember 'Never Judge a Book by it's Cover'

Recommended reading: The Starfish by D.U.Pree

[The Loop]

But never forget to read between the lines.

[dennisinkamala]

Whatever yo8u do NEVER Leterityer

Solly