Obsessive Thai girl, what to do ?

[Aeron]

I was wondering if I can get some opinions about my dilemma, I give a summary first and if necessary I will give specific details if anyone was interested. I met a girl in Apr 2006 in Pattaya, the last 4/5 days of my first trip of 2 weeks to Thailand. It was around 7pm and I was trying to get through the gangs of water/powder/paste throwing guys to Walking Street, all dressed up I tried every road but they were everywhere. It was suppose to be finished at night but no chance, I hate Songkhran and will never return at that time of the year. I could see them noticing me and getting ready, so I said sod it I just turned back and went to some bar nearby the hotel.

Here I met this girl. She was in long trousers and non-sexy top, unlike a few other bar girls around (you can tell the way they dress and made up). She spoke a broken English and we had a quick chat. She said she's from Bangkok and visiting her aunt for holidays (the older lady behind the bar). We had a few drinks and I said I try getting through the war zone again ! I left but couldn't get through, they were still there, grinning, waiting for their next victim (we are talking 8pm or so now). I think this is the time Thais get their revenge on tourists, all year around waiing, smiling and pretending, this time they show how they really feel....!?

Anyway, I ate and went back to the bar. The girl wasn't there and came later all soaked in water, she also went for a walkabout. We had a good chat and drank, played pool etc. . At the end I said let's go to my place, she was very reluctant but with some help from other girls and her aunt she agreed, by the way I paid the 200B barfine (although she said she is not working there, it was like a tip for her aunt really). We spend a fantastic few days until I left - she was with me day and night (sex was great and we couldn't get enough of each other). I took her to bars, discos and one gogo bar, but she was like a fish out of water, also very jealous of girls talking and looking at me. Her only way of coping was to drink and that was even worse (she has no resistant to alcohol) .

So I said I want to go alone for a change (just drinking and watching, no touching of course - which I honoured), she let me go and I barfined her aunt to stay with her ! On my return she wasn't happy but didn't made a fuss. She came to Bangkok airport with me and of course cried her eyes out when I left. We kept in touch and I returned in Oct same year and spend 9/10 days with her. This time she was a lot more possessive and clingy. A few nights I went out she stayed in the hotel and on my returned was really upset and angry, crying.

Now I'm not very good at managing girlfriends like some other mongers I see, they have their cake and eat it !? I just came out and tell them the truth that I am really not into love and all that crap and more of a butterfly. But by now this girl was telling me she is madly in love with me and no matter what she wants to stay with me. First time we met she said she has no kids, but this time she said she has two and they are staying with their dad (who she is separated from and now has another wife) in the countryside. She was in late 20s then and works as a guide and study part-time at uni, I saw her in her uni uniform with all her books and notes. She had exams when I was there so she studied when possible. I believe she is not a bar girl but may be a semi-pro, although she strongly denies all that but I know better....

I managed to sneak away and do a couple of girls in Bangkok, but she was by now crying all the time, not sure why but deep down she knew what I really am/do I guess, butterfly ! So I ask for a few days to go away (while she was studying and taking exams) and reluctantly she agreed. I went away for a few days and returned (using my freedom to the full of course). She was even sulkier and more upset, but she made up for all that with great performance in bed (as always). She has a half sister she lives with, with whom we went out a few times. It was end of my second trip and I left. She is extremely sensitive and temperamental, constantly asking me if I love her and insisting that she can't live without me and so on, sulking and crying all the time, leaving at the airport I was really getting so fed up with all of it that when I got home I said to myself I don't want any of this. So I cut all contacts, I didn't reply to any emails or phone calls and despite the good time we had I knew this was going to be nothing but trouble. (By the way I gave her one or two 1000B for shopping and also whatever money I had left when I departed the two times, normally I made sure it's about 5k or so and she reluctantly took. She also bought me descend presents that must have cost a thousand baht each trip. I never send her money. She said she works as a guide and makes just enough to live on.)

I went mongering to other countries and despite receiving one or two emails/calls a month I did not reply for 10 months !?!? Yes 10, she kept at it. I thought to myself after all this time may be I should say something (what a mistake ! ). I replied and explained to her that I don't want a girlfriend, I just want to be a butterfly, no commitment. My excuse for not replying was also that I was involved with someone at home hence the silence (of course a lie, contradicting myself, and she knew it too I think). Anyway, she said that's OK and she is fine with all of this and even doesn't mind if go with others as long as I see her and treat her well !!! Well, that was a very clever ploy on her side because I bought it (another mistake). We chatted away for months as I had already booked and used up my holidays and had some other problems, I could only go and see her this year (nearly 2 years after we first met). Now over the 5/6 months of chatting on the internet she changed a lot. She became more and more obsessed and went on about love and how may be she can come and visit me. Constantly asking me if I love her and every conversation ended up with her crying, getting upset and pissing me off. Emails and phone calls became more frequent, every week and then almost every day. And at weekends if I couldn't chat with her I would get told off !!! Despite me promising to go and see her and assuring that she is very special to me (big mistake), she kept on asking and wanting more (emotional commitment of course, she never ask for money, even I offered sending her if she needs it). It got to a point that she said I am her boyfriend and I can not go with anyone else not in Thailand or anywhere else...

To calm her down I said I am definitely coming and gave her a date that there was a cheap ticket available and I was planning to buy. But she kept bugging me still, we had a row and I started thinking with my big head again. I realised this is going to be hell, I really don't want this, I want to go have a good time not deal with this obsessive, unstable person, crying all the time and forcing me to be what I don't want to be (I think most of these girls are a bit depressed anyway, being away from their children and family...). So I said to her it is over and I just can't do it anymore. I am not for her and I don't feel the same as her and I can't put up with all this. I asked her to stop contacting me. Now she is also very proud and said that's OK I am going to leave you alone. Now that was a couple of months ago. At first nothing for a few weeks, but it all started again. I got three calls yesterday that of course I didn't answer and one today (I expect more soon !?), I have not reply for 2 months. She is absolutely relentless, obsessive and can't help herself. I don't know what it is but she really thinks I am her saviour or something. It is really driving me crazy. Now I actually have got a ticket for that date but not sure if I should go. What if she turns up at the airport !?! You might know how love can quickly turn to hate and I hear how in Thailand people get revenge and get her back if you upset them.

Although I haven't done anything serious to her (except perhaps emotional torture !) I don't want to get a knock on the head from behind in the dark or find white powder in my stuff one day in a police search. I am really afraid of this girl as I know she could resort to anything if she get desperate (she has this incredible fixation, could be a real fatal attraction). I also booked a hotel in Suk, I know she might cruise around the area looking for me during the dates I am there. I'm not sure what to tell her if I see her, I have gone off her so much I wouldn't mind if I don't see or hear from her ever again (let alone spending time and sex). I know there is no ground to be so much concerned, it's just that it bugs me a lot to a point that I have written this long report, please let me know what you think....... cheers.

[MrDK]

Originally Posted by Aeron

I was wondering if I can get some opinions about my dilemma, I give a summary first and if necessary I will give specific details if anyone was interested.

If you wouldn't mind ......

If you are really worried about your well being, change your dates or venue and don't respond to emails, text or calls.

[Senith]

Once u've landet get another flight to Patong or somewhere else, and don't answer her when she is calling, better to cut her completely off. No need to try explain once more what you want, it's clear she is not listening or understand this...

[hagler]

hitmen are cheap in LOS...

nah only kidding. Just dont answer any of her calls or emails. DONT go back to the bar where Aunty works and just move on. She will get another punter soon enough ( if she already hasnt) and focus her energies on him. Actually speaking of that if you know anyone who is a real tosser, hook the 2 of em up together. Kill 2 birds with one stone. ...lol

[sledge038]

Originally Posted by hagler

hitmen are cheap in LOS...

nah only kidding. Just dont answer any of her calls or emails. DONT go back to the bar where Aunty works and just move on. She will get another punter soon enough ( if she already hasnt) and focus her energies on him. Actually speaking of that if you know anyone who is a real tosser, hook the 2 of em up together. Kill 2 birds with one stone. ...lol

good thinkin hagler

[Minder]

Originally Posted by Senith

Once u've landet get another flight to Patong or somewhere else, and don't answer her when she is calling, better to cut her completely off. No need to try explain once more what you want, it's clear she is not listening or understand this...

__________________________________________________ _________

One of the reasons some girls freelance is that they are too mentally unstable or have other personality "quirks" that make them unsuitable for normal bar work.

I'd send her a final email saying I ain't coming then I'd close the email account and get another mobile number - and then I'd take Senith's advice and got to Patong without leaving the airport in BKK.

[Aeron]

Thanks for the replies, to be honest I'm a bit surprised that many people actually think that there may be some problem if I come across this girl ! Deep down I was hoping I get told off for being paranoid and TGs are not in the habit of hiring heavies and what not, is this a common thing then ?!? I wonder...

It's kind of late in the day for changing my trip and dates and I sort of set my heart (and other parts) on going to LOS and getting some of those lovely massages ! Don't really want a crazy TG ruin my plans, so I guess I should look over my shoulder and figure out what to do/say if she turns up in front of me one day (or at the airport).

Keep the suggestions coming I am sure a few people out there had similar hassle one time or another and have first hand experience...

[ba bob]

Originally Posted by Aeron

Thanks for the replies, to be honest I'm a bit surprised that many people actually think that there may be some problem if I come across this girl ! Deep down I was hoping I get told off for being paranoid and TGs are not in the habit of hiring heavies and what not, is this a common thing then ?!? I wonder...

It's kind of late in the day for changing my trip and dates and I sort of set my heart (and other parts) on going to LOS and getting some of those lovely massages ! Don't really want a crazy TG ruin my plans, so I guess I should look over my shoulder and figure out what to do/say if she turns up in front of me one day (or at the airport).

Keep the suggestions coming I am sure a few people out there had similar hassle one time or another and have first hand experience...

no one said dont go to Thailand some suggested patong or somewhere different in Thailand so you wouldnt come across her. Do you know where Patong is?

[steve w]

you could holiday in kamala,NOBODY will find you there....................55

[visa2003]

Originally Posted by steve w

you could holiday in kamala,NOBODY will find you there....................55

You're right..........just ask DennisinKamala!!!5555555

[SMF]

Just a question: Which thais are not obsessive?

I have never meet anyone from Thailand (men and women) who not at a certain degree is obsessive!

[richone]

She may well be jealous, obsessive and possessive, whatever; but you are also being unfair to her if you are replying/responding to her communications. Tell her you aren't coming to Thailand anymore, then change your email address and get a new telephone number and have no further contact with her whatsoever.

If she knows your territory in Bangkok and Pattaya, you should, as suggested stay well away, and book your flight straight through (Bangkok) to Phuket, so that you don't even emerge from the airport in Bangkok, (and/or change it to another date if you can), and go somewhere completely different in Thailand.

Stay well away from where you have previously been with her and be careful she doesn't track you through any of your friends.

Be careful and don't under-estimate her. They can be quite jealous and indeed dangerous when jilted/discarded or they see you with another.

Chok dee.

[Denver]

Originally Posted by steve w

you could holiday in kamala,NOBODY will find you there....................55

.......................Where?

[Capt. Fantastic]

Another possibility just MIGHT be one which has been addressed previously. (Citations omitted.) That is, the OP likes the Fatal Attraction aspect. Few punters experience this in Farangland.

I only mention this since the entire history (as related) screams, "Psycho!" And to keep engaged, as it were, when self-preservation-- if nothing else-- screams, "Run, Forrest, Run!" speaks to, well, something.

CF's Truism: People get the relationships they want. Would anyone be surprised if the OP re-initiated contact, "Just once, for old time's sake?"

This is a train wreck. Of course, I could be wrong.

My .75 baht.

[marc26]

Originally Posted by Capt. Fantastic

Another possibility just MIGHT be one which has been addressed previously. (Citations omitted.) That is, the OP likes the Fatal Attraction aspect. Few punters experience this in Farangland.

I only mention this since the entire history (as related) screams, "Psycho!" And to keep engaged, as it were, when self-preservation-- if nothing else-- screams, "Run, Forrest, Run!" speaks to, well, something.

CF's Truism: People get the relationships they want. Would anyone be surprised if the OP re-initiated contact, "Just once, for old time's sake?"

This is a train wreck. Of course, I could be wrong.

My .75 baht.

i actually agree with you
someone in a relationship that is all drama probably wants that or could easily get out
i see a hint of drama, and i am gone

[Busta]

Wowzers, I feel sorry for you...

I know a few people who pushed the "Just once for old times sake?" envelope and ended up fine but you should seriously reconsider keeping in contact with that psycho! CUT all contacts at once, change your phone number if you have too (Makes things easier...You know whats more easier? DON'T give out your number at all in the future :P ) redirect her email as SPAM, works wonder for me.

[Mai Chob]

Originally Posted by Denver

.......................Where?

I was gunna post " PM Denver" but you are nowhere to be found and no f@ckin help are ya?

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Mai Chob

I was gunna post " PM Denver" but you are nowhere to be found and no f@ckin help are ya?

I told you I'm in hiding. Phone is switched on between 1900 and 2030 daily if you need me. Failing that I've made some sandwiches and a flask of horlicks. Using a complicated system of a series of mirrors I can watch the telly here from under the bed.

I heard she was in Kamalalalala earlier in the vicinity of the bakery, I was in the barbers...............You've got all this to come matey boy.

[Aeron]

I appreciate all the suggestions, yes I know where Patong is and although I can change all my trip plans and change my mobile number and email address (which is not easy, think about all the calls and emails you WANT to receive), I am trying to find a way around it. Basically avoid all this and see if I can go about my trip without encountering any problem initiated by one obsessive TG. I know half this is all my fault, as mentioned in my original post I am not terribly good in handling these situations. I surly never give my number and email out again.

Fortunately I have not received anything for nearly a week, although weekend is usually when I get contacted! But as many suggested here I try not to reply and avoid any contact. Of course, I think anyone can get carried away with all the attention you get from TGs, the way they treat men/farangs is the reason for most of us make repeat visits to LOS, but saying that anyone can enjoy this kind of harassment is a bit far fetched. I sure for one much prefer not have gone through this and for sure will not want to re-initiate anything with this person again.

To be honest this girl has not done anything to give me a reason to believe she can get up to no good (never threatened me or anything - after all I have some experience with girls and can tell apart kind and evil). But I wanted to write this thread to see if you guys know how common these events are Thailand. I mean is there a first-hand experience of a guy get into trouble, beaten up and so on by a jilted TG on this board - send me the post/link. Many talk about Thaïs do revenge and so on but would a dumped TG take such extreme action on a farang (I'm not talking about a little shouting, fighting or may be demanding money, but actual harm !?).

I make sure I report back in this thread of what happens - hopefully my trip goes without any incident relating to this girl, (but full of incidents with other TG !?!?).

[hagler]

Originally Posted by Aeron

I appreciate all the suggestions, yes I know where Patong is and although I can change all my trip plans and change my mobile number and email address (which is not easy, think about all the calls and emails you WANT to receive), I am trying to find a way around it. Basically avoid all this and see if I can go about my trip without encountering any problem initiated by one obsessive TG. I know half this is all my fault, as mentioned in my original post I am not terribly good in handling these situations. I surly never give my number and email out again.

Fortunately I have not received anything for nearly a week, although weekend is usually when I get contacted! But as many suggested here I try not to reply and avoid any contact. Of course, I think anyone can get carried away with all the attention you get from TGs, the way they treat men/farangs is the reason for most of us make repeat visits to LOS, but saying that anyone can enjoy this kind of harassment is a bit far fetched. I sure for one much prefer not have gone through this and for sure will not want to re-initiate anything with this person again.

To be honest this girl has not done anything to give me a reason to believe she can get up to no good (never threatened me or anything - after all I have some experience with girls and can tell apart kind and evil). But I wanted to write this thread to see if you guys know how common these events are Thailand. I mean is there a first-hand experience of a guy get into trouble, beaten up and so on by a jilted TG on this board - send me the post/link. Many talk about Thaïs do revenge and so on but would a dumped TG take such extreme action on a farang (I'm not talking about a little shouting, fighting or may be demanding money, but actual harm !?).

I make sure I report back in this thread of what happens - hopefully my trip goes without any incident relating to this girl, (but full of incidents with other TG !?!?).

Rule number 1 - Buy a local sim card when in LOS and use that number as your point of contact. Keep the sim active for your next return.

Rule number 2 - open a generic hotmail,gmail, yahoo ect ect email just for your LBFM's

Rule number 3 - NEVER give em your real name.

Some people just like to have drama in their lives i think....

[Capt. Fantastic]

Originally Posted by hagler

... Keep the sim active for your next return...

How does one do this? I have a 1-2-Call (?) SIM card with about ten minutes left. I just assumed it went dead after a certain time. Not true? This would be great since I have SIM cards from four countries.