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#36
15-10-2005, 00:42
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We seem to have shared alot of the same experiences GUnit. i have a post in the Nightlife section called girl from last year who found me this year in Bangkok even though I met her in Phuket lsat september. She started following me and eventually hooked up with my friend. It's actually getting quite weird that so much of the same stuff is happening. Thanks for the good luck wish Faulty i think i might need it. But when we're alone she doesn't seem half as crazy as my posts make her out to be. She's new to the bar game (according to her) and I just don't think she's got to the bar girl comfort zone yet where they don't seem to mind their job anymore. One night she started crying and saying how bargirls had no future so I think that can maybe explain some of her issues.
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#37
15-10-2005, 00:46
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Classic, " Bar girl comfort zone " The BGCZ ....55555 
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#38
15-10-2005, 00:55
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O.K , I edited your reply a bit to get to the main points. 1. If you stay in touch with her , she is going to think it's more than a fling. 2. If you return without telling her she is going to wonder why. 3. Spend more than one night and you're their "boyfriend". 4. If your paying , it's up to you when to finish it.(Why wait till day 4) 5. Any of the above answers covers why she thought you were not just another punter. It's not always the BGs fault that they get confused , when they are getting mixed messages. Better to keep it on a business relationship untill you are sure what you want. I'm not having a go at you , just wanting to clear things up for any Newbie coming over. 
__________________
Member of Phuket Hash House Harriers
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#39
15-10-2005, 01:12
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Yeah these experiences really helped me grow up in the bar girl experience and your conclusions are exactly right. The hard part for me is I'm just too nice of a guy and I hate hurting girls feelings, bar girl or regular girl. I realize a bit better now that you can't (or at least its hard) butterfly and expect not to hurt any feelings along the way. Maybe I'm just young and deep down feel for some of these girls stories and thats why I allow myself to settle down into these long times when in reality I should cut it off after a day.
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#40
15-10-2005, 01:24
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Hi G , Glad you did'nt think I was having a go at you , your reply is spot on and shows how nice guys can end up getting more than they bargained for. As for butterflying , if the Bgs know that is what your after, then they'll will be O.K. I probably get on better with some of the girls I've gone with for one or two nights , they now treat me as a friend but are also still willing to have a "one nighter" if I feel in the mood. Just enjoy your trips , it's better if a BG has one night with a "nice" man , and then he moves on , than spend time with an ar*ehole just for the money.
__________________
Member of Phuket Hash House Harriers
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#41
15-10-2005, 13:15
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If she cuts her wrist and makes you feel guilty twice, then I think that you are in for very bad trouble if you go further in the relationship with her. I feel sorry for a man so young to get caught up in this sort of thing!  There are so many better things for you to fill your life with. There is so much living ahead of you. Do not get caught in the guilt trap. I am not saying that she is not a very nice girl. Probably she is, or you would not be so fond of her. But this will be an unhealthy relationship for both of you. The future will hold more of what the past has been. Only my opinion. And I know that when I get caught up in the emotional relationships with BGs, then it is easy to get lost in it, and not to see the forest for the trees. Easy to ignore the things that I do not want to see, and to make excuses for a girl's bad behavior. That is why it is easier for me to tell you. Or for someone else to tell me, when I am caught up in the wrap of emotions. The past repeats itself. And the deeper in you get, the harder it is to extricate yoursefl. She gets crazier, and you get guiltier. A downward spiral, and where does it end?  Whatever happens, I wish the best for both of you, but I don't have a good feeling about your realtonship, and where it will lead for either of you.
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown. 
Last edited by JayBee : 15-10-2005 at 13:23.
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. The funny thing is that I really like this girl and I genuinely am planning to see her again in December. I actually even intend on having her coming to live with me in Pattaya when I move there in February. I normally get fed up very easily in relationships but it's different with this girl, and if I tried to finish with her before I think it is more of a reflection on the way I am rather than her, but I've thought about and have decided I'm going to give it a go with her. She wants me to go to Korat in December and meet her mother and I've reluctantly agreed, but I'm worried she's starting to get ideas in her head because she keeps talking about marriage, and my friend marrying a girl from her bar isn't helping either (see my post "Dowry.") The times she cut herself I felt really guilty because I had started rows with her just to have reasons to finish her, and she's the first bar girl I genuinely believe when they tell me they like me. I've read most of the Stickman site to the point where I've become really cynical of everything and actually regret having read so much rather than just taking stuff for what they are. Btw in July she told me she was on the Pill so I didn't need to wear a condom, then on the last day, out of curiousity, I told her that I hadn't seen her taking it, to which she replied "I don't take it with you." That gave me a scare I can tell you. I have asked her how much she would need to send home to her family if she comes to live with me in Pattaya and she said 3,000 baht which I find acceptable, especially as her father is "in the temple" whatever that means (monk?).|
#42
15-10-2005, 13:45
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IJ
__________________
ROLL ON OCTOBER........
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#43
03-01-2006, 23:41
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Hi guys. I am scared to go back to Phuket again. I break up my LT relationship in the worst way. We have just sent a lot of "f**k off", "u r a f**king bi**h", "use money to go clinic"...and sh*t like this by sms. Even about mine and her family...
I've never butterflied, I was true in my good feelings and I really liked her(1st time to Thailand). I gave money before she asked and we were applying for visa to make her to come visit me for 3 months. We stayed together for 2 months in 9 months, she is not a BG, but of course a freelance..now we breaked up so bad cause I can't take it anymore. I don't think I have to say anything like sorry or bull**it like this, she made me loose my face with her girlfriends and other farang(false friends)..I can't say sorry! I have to lie to myself and to her. I am a newbie in this forum and in Thailand, so now I am asking you an advice. I would like to go back to Phuket in the next months enjoying butterfly, I can go to Patong and not where she stays...but am a little bit afraid. What do you think? It can be not safe to go back? Better if I ask sorry even if I don't mean that? Thx
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#44
04-01-2006, 03:56
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when you break a relationship in thailand < in a bad way of course> you gotta be very carefull.go back to thailand if you wish it,but at least try to be as much far as you can from her.<they really get offended very easily.
__________________
MADE IN ITALY...NAH 
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#45
08-02-2006, 14:08
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i adhere to this advice when in bkk..."find em...feck em...forget em"
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