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#1
01-04-2005, 21:39
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Same Old Story
Last trip to Thailand (2004) was to meet up with this Bar girl i met back in 2003, turned out that because i had to put back my trip she met someone else & to make a long story short they got married and are living happy ever after so far. So of couse i was depressed when i got to my friends bar in Bangkok,but then i met another one there spent 14 days with her & i kind of felt this one could be the one, see was working to save money to open a shop back in her home town, which she has done and left the bar life behind her, i know this to be true. BUT now she emails me and says the shop is not doing well & asked me to leaned her 20,000baht
 Of couse i said no & she was ok with that, but to me she broke my golden rule which is if they ask for money piss them off, but the time i was with her was the best she really looked after me better than anyone else i have ever been with,i told her that i would marry her but her emails she send are like riddles. So what should i do on my upcoming tour in August, go up to Bangkok & meet her there then go to her village & spend some time with her fully knowing that nothing may come of it, or just go to Phuket & Pattaya and have a great time. I guess my new golden rule will have to be don't spend more that one or two days with the same girl, coz i fall for these women way to easy.  Last edited by too cool : 01-04-2005 at 21:59. 
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#2
01-04-2005, 23:18
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dont full in love
Dude you don't want to be going to her village
.ive done it ended up me taking brothers .sisters cousins aunts you get the idea .out for meals and bars every night I was broke after that escapade .you don't want to fall in love with a BG that's there jobs to make you feel that way .and your job is not to fall in to that trap like a game ,keep a fine line between you and the BG personally I would go straight from bkk to phuket then the remainder of my trip go pattaya then back to bkk and get the fcuk home alone . that is what iam doing this July 
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#3
02-04-2005, 01:10
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All the warning signs are inbetween the lines..
BG1 met felt good about, came back to see her but just because of a delay she was gone.. BG2 met in the same bar (the there is not definitive but thats how it reads).. stayed for a couple of weeks and then has feeling for... My advice is dont look for miss right on holiday.. Look for miss right now.. Connections and partnerships do happen in Thailand but go very slowly.. Suggest you butterfly around and if you want to see her make it the last week of your vacation to give you some decision (and comparison) time.. Got a feeling your someone who 'falls' easy..
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Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#4
02-04-2005, 01:38
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Personally, I would reccommend everyone take a trip out to the boonies. It gives you a far better understanding why they do what they do for a living. I have always been welcomed and treated well, nothing to be worried about.
I guess if you can solve all her financial problems, she will look after you forever. But always remember that her financial problems will go on forever as well; her mum/sister/brother/grandma/the buffalo will find the most imaginative ways of squeezing those bahts from you. And when you stop paying, she will stop 'loving' you. I'm not a total cynic about these things, maybe love can conquer all, but I do believe that it is easy to confuse 'love' with 'lust', and lust can be satisfied by taking a trip to Patong to party for a little while. Remember this is Thailand we are talking about; as soon as you find your 'perfect 10', an '11' walks around the corner. 
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#5
05-04-2005, 00:00
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I'm in the same boat man...
Met a girl in november last year at Krit bar,she was 29, i'm 33. I butterflied around that time and of course she was angry, so we had a quarrel then. At the end of my holiday(she was still mad at me, but calmed down a bit) i told her she was the best girl i had and i would make it up to her on my next stay.Came back to Pattaya end feb this year.(she was already sms'ing me for 2 weeks, "when you come???") I have been with that girl for three weeks. She really took very very good care for me. She was so sweet, lovely, willing...We talked about meeting her parents when i would come back the next time, and even marriage.She asked if my parents would come to thailand for our marriage, and so on...She didn't even want any money the last days. She cried when i had to go home and would wait my come back.Once home, she sms'ed me every day, e-mailed me, even called me once crying. I called(info:always through skype, cheap and good!) her last week and told her that i would come pattaya in june. Normally it would be in November, but couldn't wait to see her again, so i moved heaven and earth to go sooner... A few days later she doesn't answer my sms's anymore, doesn't pick up her phone when i call,...except once, she said i have problems honey, can't explain in english, i go to internet shop tomorrow and have it translated and e-mailed to you. Never heard from her anymore since then.(4 days ago now) I must say that she(thai lady) knows that i'm married to a (wonderful) lady of my country (we are "openminded"  ), but i told her i would give up my wife for her. I wasn't actually planning to make hasty decisions though she did not know that!  I must admit i feel real bad now, especially cause she doesn't answer any of my messages. I even thought about putting a post here on the board and ask if someone is in Pattaya now and wanted to go look in her bar what's going on... ARGHH hear me, f*cking pathetic!!!! but i can't help it! It's just so strange, i never thought someone could play it like this. So you see bro, you're not alone, let's both learn from it and never fall in that trap again!  WOOOW UPDATE 05/04/05: There was an sms on my phone this morning... " Miss you honey, love you so much, wait you all the time, hope you come soon!!!!" I guess her "new" farang did not stay longtime in Pattaya Now i feel real naughty...haven't answered the sms yet,was not planning to, but why not make it my game now? Any suggestions what to do best? Come on butterflies, let's hear it!!!!  Regards Steve regards, Steve Last edited by greatshape : 05-04-2005 at 12:35.
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#6
05-04-2005, 12:54
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This is why Thai girls tell so many lies, because they think us Farangs are full of shit (9 times out of 10 they are correct) and make them promises they hardly ever keep......and l have been guilty of this in the past as well.
I must admit l cannot work you out.....first you sound heart broken  and want someone to look for this girl for you, to see what she is up to......then when she does contact you again you want to now start playing some sort of mind games with her.....no wonder a lot of bg's are are total nut cases.  It's quite simple....if she is still in Pattaya she is getting laid by a truck load of Farangs......if she went missing for a few days, more than likely a Farang has taken a fancy to her and taken her on a trip for a few days and made her earn her ticket.....so why on earth do you want to put this girl through some stupid game if you acually say you like her.........?????
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#7
05-04-2005, 16:35
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Quote:
Somehow you're right....actually when i submitted this post i just received the sms and was still angry. But anyway, i can not trust her anymore, and that has nothing to do with her going with another man. To many promises were made between us in the past, to many things have happened, that 's what made me so angry.I know it sounds "cliché", but we were more then just seller and buyer. The only thing i asked was an sms "i'm ok, don't worry", she could always find a way to send this little note without the farang to know, even when she's with him 24/7. I've decided not to contact her anymore, and not even go to her bar on my next stay. It's best for everybody, her, me and especially my wife.
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#8
06-04-2005, 06:51
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Quote:
I would suggest that is a very wise choice. 
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#9
06-04-2005, 07:15
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Here is the email that i got that started this thread for me, know i talked to her about marrying her & coming to Australia bah bah bah. Then i just read this email again & totally missed something the first time i read it about her "open new shop". I'm talking about marrage, she's talking about new shop, what the fcuk. To ALL NEWBIES on the post take note because this will happen to you on your first trip here.
To Greatshape, dude you have a wife, what are you thinking. Look i'm a single guy that loves Thailand, i love the culture, the food is amazing and the women, i really would like tom live there one day, i just like the lifestyle over there than here in Australia. But i'm glad to read that your not going to contact her anymore, just see how long that lasts for. Anyway here is the email that me girl sent me. Bar girl that check this site are my use it on there Farangs. But this grasshooper have learnt a leason from all this & i hope i will be wiser on my up coming trip, don't spend more that 2 day with the same Bar girl or your fcuked both ways  Hello My Dear, How are you??? I am thingking about you and I hope i will see you again when you come back to Thailand. So, I am big broblam about new shop. My new shop I pay big monney but not enough!!! Sorry I want you help me somebath this week for new shop about 20,000 bath and sorry again I can't see somebody can help me. When I not have some monney before nexmonth I can't open new shop & big broblam too. thay have Western Union. you can send somebath for me. When you can help me?????
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#10
06-04-2005, 12:55
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Well i show one of the e-mails i got from "my(?) girl" I think there's a slight difference...
You understand my total confusion now? Regards Steve How are you now darling. I miss you so much but I do not know what to do. I am so happy with the time with you , we have good time and good day. But it was short time for us. I just hope that someday we will be together again forever. I believe what you tell me but I am afraid. I scare that we will not see each other again. I know many problem. But I can do nothing but only hope. I hope some day you will be mine only and no have other person. Do you know that you give me hope so much. But I do not know if it is true. Many important thing between you and your wife and family. For me I am just a bar girl that hope someday will have a good man who love with his heart and take me out from the bar. I know it was just a dream and it is very hard to have some person who can give me everything. I know I am working and do not want to love someone. I work for money for my family. I do not want to think and hope because it will make me sad. If I have money and was born in rich family. I do not have to work bar. I do not want to think too much. Everyday I only think how I can make money to send to my home for my mother and father. But now you come in my life. I have more courage and 7 month is not too far to wait. I will wait for you to be my only and do not have anybody. Please takecare yourself. Love you so much and wait for you to come and love me only
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#11
06-04-2005, 13:08
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I almost fell on my first trip, but I kept my promise to myself and my best friend to butterfly, luckily I met "her" on the last day so it was easier. In my opinion it is best to BUTTERFLY, this way you won't lose all of your $$$ to the expert BG's, and you will have a great time!
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#12
06-04-2005, 13:33
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Just for info: I did not waist much money on her....at the contrary. Which doesn't mean you 're wrong, when you butterfly, you have less problems Regards
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#13
06-04-2005, 13:35
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Quote:
Hello darling I not work bar now, I miss you very much and hope you come soon I wait you long time and not go with man but I miss you very much and now I have trouble with room. Please I not like ask you money but I can't pay room because I no work bar have no money now I miss you very much when you come back please be soon what shall I do. XXXXX Nid, Nok etc.
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Always play to win!
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#14
06-04-2005, 15:01
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Well for all the mocking I think that the vast majority would like to commit to someone and if there is any spark betyween 2 people they will make a go of it if you will.. Of course the making a go of it is a lot easier than it sounds.. Long distance relationships are REALLY tough and I wouldnt consider one..
I dont care about someones history, I only care about the actions and intentions of that person now.. But getting from point A of meeting a cute TG / BG to point Z of living happily ever after in one country or another is very tough.. It costing a little bit of money is possibly the least of your problems.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#15
06-04-2005, 20:52
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Well i know someone that did marry a Thai girl, i didn't know this till we started talking about Thailand, she's 22, he's about 40 & he showed me her photo & is a honey, she brings her mum over & now she has some guy filling her head with who know what & i think he's had enough & the married could be over. I think what the real problem is that he dosen't take her out, she is younger & want to have some fun & fair enough. I guess that somethink you really have to think about if you marry one of these girls. When i was in Phuket last year i was with a 19 year old bar girl for 2 days that was going to marry a 60 year old dude, i tried to talk her out of it but who know what she did coz she wasn't sure if that what she wanted. But what was really funny or sad which way you look at it was he called her both nights while she was with me & tells him that she back home not working in bar, love, love kiss, kiss. Then i would make love to her all night
But in the end i fall into this sad love trap too with my bar girl  Last edited by too cool : 06-04-2005 at 20:59.
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#16
06-04-2005, 21:09
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Here goes
Well I’ll take the risk for ridicule and here goes,
My second last trip was my first to Phuket (not fist to Thai) and I spent the last 3 days with one girl. Not the most beautiful but I liked our time together. She went home after the Tsunami and then went back to Patong and stayed with her friends, probably doing some FL. I did not tell her that I was coming back and you would not believe it I bump into her first afternoon in the street. She thought that I was with someone else and she just kept walking. I chased her up and said hello but did not make any plans. I was determined to butterfly this trip and did not call her. Of course she seen me with other girls and then she would get rotten drunk. I found her one night so drunk she could hardly walk. I took her back to my room put her to bed and went out drinking, did not touch her. Found out later that after she seen me with others she was getting smashed every night. On my last night of my first stay in Patong on this last trip, been home 4 days, found her smashed wandering the street again at about 4 am. Put her to bed again and left for north the next morning. Then came back to Patong again, was out with a real hottie and bumped into her on the dance floor at Thai pan. When I was with the hottie could only think of the other girl. Next night found the old girl, made up and we spent 8 days together. She doesn’t ask me for anything, I only gave her money for the time that I spent with her. We left Patong together and she supposedly went home. Flew to Bkk with me, then went on to home. I know that she did get there, whether she’ll stay is up to her. I do like her but I did not make any promises and did not promise to send any money to her. If she is genuine we’ll see. As I said she isn’t the drop dead gorgeous and I do not think that it is a well polished BG but that also could be part of the ploy, I will have to wait and see. I am in two minds as to whether I should have just spent the whole 4 weeks with her, I usually last about 2 to 3 days max with a girl before I see through them and move them on, or if by being a butterfly confirmed that it is just more than lust with this one. I promised myself that I would not do this so in a way I will be relieved if the send me money crap starts then I can say bye bye. Will have to wait and see, but I am very on guard after reading so many stories. Ok hit me with your best shots,
__________________
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. 
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#17
07-04-2005, 09:08
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IMHO Lininlos short reply above is spot on.....there are bg's who genuinely want out of the bg scene....and wish to meet a farangs for marriage/security/support family etc.....there is a book available that explains in great detail the differences in Farang/Thai culture, and how it can and will have a bearing on a Farang/Thai relationship. l recommend it be read by anybody who is considering a relationship with a tg.....it is written in English and Thai, and aimed at both parties , so each party can get a handle on their partners culture. I just cannot remeber the title of it at the moment......but l am sure another BM will know it.
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#18
07-04-2005, 10:15
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Just remembered the title to that book "Thailand Fever"
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#19
07-04-2005, 10:44
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It's always a hard one to know whether to trust these girls but sometimes I guess you just got to use your best judgement she sounds fairly genuine and yes I think most want out of the scene. Maybe too many people put them to the money test most of these girls have little or no education and come from poor backgrounds and if you take them out of the bar they have no income. Also do you want the prettiest or best looking girl they are usually a pain in the **** as long as you are both happy together is what counts. One BG told me once that she does her job for money but she does not give heart this is the difference if she genuinely likes or loves you I'm sure you will know. Anyway good luck which ever way you decide.
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Always play to win!
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#20
07-04-2005, 12:07
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Cynical thoughts
Like most things to do with relationships, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Many of the girls working in bars are looking for a long term relationship and I guess they will take the best offer that comes along. If someone is going to wait for you for 7 months and stay in the bar scene then there is a good chance that she will get a better offer before you come back. In spite of the cynicism that is often expressed here, if you don't sponsor a girl then she is for sure going to stay in the scene. I guess you are probably going to have to try and return every few months to keep the relationship going as, without face to face contact, both parties get caught up in more pressing matters and the feelings may diminish for each other. However there are a few board members who are in successful relationships with bar girls (who are now ex bar girls) and it can work. The cynicism on this board almost cost me a relationship. I got the mama in hospital story and almost sent an e-mail that would have ended my relationship. The story turned out to be true and I, along with other Thai members of the family, contributed to the costs. My share was 10K baht and no doubt it was the largest share. My g/f then sliced her wrist open and needed 20-30 k for an operation to fix the damage. I spoke to the doctor who filled me in on what was required. I've got no doubt I paid over the odds to the Doctor but my g/f kept the receipt plus a photo of her in hospital to show me when I returned. She still sports the scars from the accident. My g/f now works in an office in Bangkok 6 days a week 8 hours a day for about 7k Baht a month. I send her money to pay the rent on our house, to pay for the schooling for her son and to help her and her mother. She will return to our rented house in Phuket when I next come back (I go ab |