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#36
06-06-2006, 16:50
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sin sot
Even if I do agree with LiL in his claims about Sin Sot I do however know of two examples where a Thai guy married an ex BG and paid Sin Sot.
The last case I know pretty well and he paid 80k, so everything is not Black and White, especially not in LOS  
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#37
06-06-2006, 16:58
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Well you live and learn eh? I take back what I said about 'never in a million years'.
__________________
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#38
06-06-2006, 17:19
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WOW.. Did he / thier families know about her previous occupation ??
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#39
06-06-2006, 17:20
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i am sure when i mention this to the gfs father and official uncles and unofficial ones they will be shocked. not disbelieving what you said or have learned, but first time i have ever heard of a thai paying it.
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#40
06-06-2006, 20:12
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Quote:
Yes they did, she had no children though. Quote:
It was genuine, I'm not sure but maybe in this case the fact that the guy is muslim might play into it.. Maybe the idea of a muslim son in law was not the most appealing Families outside the "bg world" will always look down upon bg's and their families and will of course see themselves as well above having to pay Sin Sot. What happens inside same class is another thing..
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#41
13-06-2006, 18:15
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I try to read a lot and post little...but I have a recent personal expereince regarding the dowry and I feel I must give my input.
My last trip my GF met me at BKK airport and we went strait to her home in the Prachin Buri province and I met the family. There was a big tent set up in front of her house and many tables and chairs and plenty of food and drink, about 30 people not including children. We stayed about 4 hours and being very tired from flying, driving, etc. we left. We had a hotel/bungalo accomadation reserved about 5 miles from her home. The following day we had a traditional marriage ceremony where the monks come to her home and they chant and bless the string and everyone ties a piece of the string on our wrist and say wish(blessing) as they do this and then the party(Actually started the day before). This was actually a very moving expereince and I know this was very important to her and her family. I tried to keep this short but I wanted to give a little history, sorry if your put to sleep . As for the Dowry part, my GF/wife has been telling me everything I need to do, the shocking part is the dowry was not mentioned. I did bring her a diamond ring for and I sent her the money for the party(15,000BT) and also money every month(another story).She gave the monks 3000BT which I thought was pretty cheap but I let her handle everything. And I must say that I recieved a hero's welcome upon arrival and the entire family embraced me, the children were hanging on me and fanning me to keep me cool like I was a king. Everyone, including her parents were happy to see that I was a decent and respectful guy and all seemed well. We left for BKK and to Phuket for a Honeymoon. Now is where the drama started...of course the people in her village heard there was a marriage party to a girl with a fulong and all they wanted to know was how much cash did I drop on them. When they told them it had been a mere few thousand BT which my girl had given them before we left(I'd given her 20K BT to take care as she saw fit) the villagers laughed and belliteled them and I guess face was lost. I wish I had read this thread before my last trip, but I let my girl take care of everything. To rectify this I have told her I'm going to bring a gift for her parents(50K BT) and they have told her it is not wanted but I shall do it anyway. And if they are trying to save face again or something then I will say we weren't officially married so I give the gift now... in a couple of months we will be finalizing the paper work with the Umpur for our marriage. And then her Visa to stay with me. But as for this thread I guess it depends on the girl and the status and also how much they think can be had. In my girls case she wasn't really looking to gouge I guess. Well I wanted to give a real story along with all the dramma of the Marriage/dowry thing. Sorry so long winded!
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#42
13-06-2006, 19:30
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Very interesting to read about your experience.
My wife was very clear about the Sin Sot. She told me: "We are already married here in Norway, but if we don't pay Sin Sot to my mother, then I don't want to have the wedding in my home. Then we only go to Phuket and not Kalasin, I don't want her to be ashamed." Well, I would never go to her mother and tell her that since her daughter is a former BG I will not pay any Sin Sot. What kind of behavior would that be? And I don't think her mother was that greedy after all. F
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#43
13-06-2006, 20:35
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Well they gave it back so obviously have some class..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#44
13-06-2006, 22:03
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I didn't know that her mother would give it back, but I was very happy to see that it was not the money but the respect she wanted. And maybe she needed that, because her only child had been a BG. Who knows? F
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#45
14-06-2006, 00:07
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im glad it worked out but i think the fact that you are makign a better life for their daughter is all the respect they need. my opinion
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#46
14-06-2006, 00:50
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Yes, maybe you are right. But I got the girl I wanted, and my wife is happy, her mother is happy, the whole family is happy, and then I give a sh1t about the Sin Sot now.  F
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#47
14-06-2006, 03:38
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I already married my girlfriend here in Denmark June 2nd, 2006. Now she is back in Thailand (left on the 8th...dammit) but I go to her in 14 days.
As for our wedding we had a wedding here in DK with my family only. We have agreed to have a traditional Thai wedding at her family in Khorat on August 22nd. My family will fly to Thailand with me for 15 days and take part in it all so that will be great. As for the sinsot issue. To begin with I was kinda skeptical by this issue to be honest. For "falangs" this issue is not something we are used to dealing with and I had a lot of unanswered questions. I talked with my wife about this and she told me that the sinsot should be 100.000 bath. It wasn’t her family that had decided the amount - it was her. 3 months ago when I was in Thailand we met with a good friend I have who has a rather high position in Thai Airways. My wife did something really clever then - she had him explain the whole deal to me and how it normally works. Now I know that he is seeing it from the Thai-Thai perspective but still it started to make a little more sense to me. When he heard the amount he didn’t see that as a problem and to be honest neither did I. My wife also told me that she would still marry me regardless of I pay sinsot or not and I have no doubt that she would. However, we have made an arrangement about the sinsot. 50.000 bath will go to her son. That money shall be used for his needs - especially books and school related stuff. The other 50.000 shall be for her mother and father - they need some stuff for the house and their farm, so they can use that money for those purposes. As I see it those money are money well invested. Yes I could get off and not pay but really it's just 100.000 bath. I am not loaded or anything but I do know that even if I didn’t pay, I would probably end up sponsoring her sons education and buying things for the house anyways. This way they will get the face and recognition and everybody will be happy campers. And yes my wife is an ex BG and divorced and obviously has a son. Quote:
My wife’s parents wasn’t involved in the sinsot issue but I would expect that anyone that would do what Frode wrote here, would have a pretty bad relationship with her family afterwards. You might save the bath, but maybe the future with your wife would be kinda awkward. My wife just put 400.000 bath (her own money) into restoring her parents (family’s) house. They have built us a brand new room where we can stay when we are in Thailand and this week she went out to buy a new farang toilet to be installed before I come in 2 weeks (thank god for that..) I know that we are going to spend time living there with her family maybe a couple of times per year. If I didn’t have a good and working relationship with her family that would probably not be so nice for me. I am actually really looking forward to staying with her family and getting to know them more. For me marriage is not just marrying the girl and then forgetting about everything else - I kinda like the whole family issue. Now I have "only" been to Thailand 4 times in the last 12 months, so I definitely don’t know everything (or even close) that is to know about Thai culture etc. However, I do know that I am happy with the choices that I made and that's really the bottom-line for me. Quote:
That one made me crack up.. sorry we lose farang.. I can just imagine that  Well just wanted to give you my "little" story.. Sorry for the long post, but once I get started I can't seem to stop again :o)
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#49
14-06-2006, 07:16
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same same but different
Quote:
I paid 500,000THB + 10B gold and was told that her mum will return it back (my brother in law got his back - he is a thai guy), but till now i have not got anything back. maybe perhaps i have not held a party for my marriage in thailand. On top of that her mum is still asking for $$$$ to take care of the kid when my wife comes to stay with me (several months)  .I did ask my wife how grand the party should be and how may guest should be invited. She reply by asking me "how many bars are there in phuket".  Apparently her mum ask her the same question "how many bars are ......"We never did talk about that after that day.... But i still hope and pray everyday that mother of hers will return my $$$$$$$.... The best part is that her mum had her own business and is making good $$$$$$$$.... 
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#50
14-06-2006, 07:23
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When i married my gf (a former bg) i just paid about 30.000 bath....
She was never married, didn´t have a child. As i knew some thai men (and not rich ones) paid more then me i was a little ashamed, but at this time i had some problems with money..... So at least she didn`t marry me because i have a lot of money.... (i hope). BTW: We are now married for more than 8 years and have a lovely girl which is four years old. And i am still a poor man... (and she`s still with me) Hugo
__________________
Nothing improves with age!
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#51
14-06-2006, 15:16
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its all about face
Quote:
but its that fcukin thing about face. so complex so ridiculous but as farangs are we meant to understand it ? the attendant virgin has been found the girl from tesco got the job. but alas, if she happens to be menstruating at the time of the wedding, the first reserve comes in. bugger me and the local head monk has to be involved in all of this discussion. i thought it was mother and grandmother and a ladies chat around the somtam, but no, its the vestal virgin going to the temple to be blessed. fcuk me, some times it must just be better to forget face and just go up the naughty nightlife and have a gutful of beer and chase some go gos
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