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#1
04-06-2006, 01:14
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Marriage
How mutch should u pay fora a normal weddign in thailand...I mean whit sin soth and everything
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#2
04-06-2006, 02:42
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Sin Sot 200K Baht, and another 100K for the weddingparty in her home, flowers, drinks, food, costumes, etc...... That was my wedding in Kalasin, 80 - 100 guests. F
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#3
04-06-2006, 05:11
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Its up to you...for all we know you may be swimming in the stuff...
Just ask your GF how much she thinks its going to cost...convert that figure to your nominal hometown currency...if that figure doesn't make you committ suicide..then go for it... good luck.
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#6
04-06-2006, 09:22
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Depends heavily on the girl..
If shes is or has been a BG.. Nothing in Sin Sot !! If shes been previously married nothing in Sin Sot !! If she has Kids again nothing in Sin Sot. For a non BG young girl it depends on family status, education levels, etc etc etc from 100k (including her gold) up to 500k or so for an educated girl with a job.. Any more than that and she would have to be from VERY rich family..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#7
04-06-2006, 09:35
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My wife read this and she says that you have to go and buy a book about Thailand, because you know nothing about getting married there. You have to pay Sin Sot no matter if you want to get married with a TG. What is special with you? Well, there you have my wife.  F
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#8
04-06-2006, 10:09
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Sounds like an ex BG that doesnt like the facts of how Thai men face sin sot !!!
You think Thai guys pay Sin Sot on BG's ?? You think Thai guys pay Sin Sot when theres kids to support from previous marriages ?? You think Thai guys pay Sin Sot when shes been married before (hence its been paid once already).. Thats the standard farang con "its our culture".. Not true !! I dont mind doing what a Thai guy would do but you are not going to get Thai guys paying either the amounts farangs are sked for or for those girls. Previously married girls with kids ?? Thier families should be happy someone is going to take care of them. I was married here.. However my Wife was married to a guy previously and so no sin sot was needed, I did of course pay for the wedding party and monks but it was a low key affair.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#9
04-06-2006, 10:28
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i agree with LIL on this Frode, i can understand the farang pays some little bit in sin sot just for his girls feelings eg 50,000 or 30,000. but thai men dont pay it for girls married before or with children or were previously bgs.
as stated by LIL, traditionally the girls family would be just happy she is being taken care off. bgs like it paid for trying to gain some status in the village, not because it is expected. a girl who has been a bg is viewed poorly in the village "eyes", so sin sot for her is a way for her to gain some respect. sin sot from my understanding, is based on her education, working background, family status and virginity status.
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#10
04-06-2006, 10:35
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Exactly F2H..
I am all for adapting culturally.. I am not totally against sin sot myself.. I am not against doing something for my girl to feel good or taking care of families to some extent.. But sin sot has turned into another great farang con done under the guise of being culturally acceptable. The fact is most BG's have crossed a line in Thai culture and will have great difficulty settling into a normal LT marriage in Thai society.. Sure she wants the big face back home that being wanted by a wealthy farang gives her but dont believe that Thai guys would be equally doing this. Jimmy just maried his girl last month, she had previous kids so there was never even a mention of sin sot, her parents were happy shes with a guy who takes care of her and her kids as though they were his own. When some tattoo'ed BG with a couple of exisiting kids and a broken marriage starts telling you that you need to pay sin sot then start looking for the exits, shes trying it on.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#11
04-06-2006, 11:33
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100% LIL, your mate did the right thing and the girl did the right thing by him by not suggesting sin sot.
i know most bgs or ex bgs never expose their shoulders in the village or provincial towns due to cultural/social reasons, but any girl seen with visible non temple tattoos would gain a very negative reaction from others in the village.
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#12
04-06-2006, 13:11
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I think 100-200k is not uncommon between farangs and BGs including gold, from what I have heard. If it is right or not is another discussion and some girls may refuse to marry/stay with a guy who dont pay.
I have also heard about guys who gave way lot more, and others who paid nothing and just registered their mariage without village party. I think it also depends on the farangs financial status, if he can afford it or not. In my case, I am not fond of a big village party, I want to have a small party for family and friends in Phuket.
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#13
04-06-2006, 13:28
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I came close to getting married during my last trip
  but we never had the time to go to Bangkok (my embassy) and get a ducument needed for this. Nevertheless we did talk about the expences and she told me her parents didn't want any money (I think this is what you call "Sin Sot"??) anyway, as far as she told me, her parents were just happy I would stay with her and take care of her... I did offer my self to pay a little something since I read it's tradition and I read that thai men pay 10K but farangs pay about 30-50K so that's what I offered. She told me that a ceremony/party in her village would be quite expensive so that a small party in Phuket for her family (4 members) and 2 of her friends in a restaurang would be much better but not even that was necessary. In other words I would just have gotten away with just the marriage registration Now that I read some of the post in this thread it made me wonder thou... We never talked about the gold thing 5555555 
__________________
The man who said "A bird in the hand's worth two in the bush" has been putting his bird in the wrong bushes.
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#14
04-06-2006, 13:35
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If girls married before there is no need to have a second village party and/or dowry. Some girls still want dowry second time but the party is not neccessary,
Normally both money and gold is used for the dowry. Quote:
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#15
04-06-2006, 13:59
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Theres a lot of different perspectives becuase sin sot is used in many different ways.
What sin sot makes your future wife happy ?? What sin sot are other farangs paying ?? What sin sot would a Thai guy pay for the same girl ?? My answers were not based on A) keeping the girl happy or B) what other farangs who dont have local info pay.. Purely on what is normal for a Thai guy to do and what I would then consider normal in Thailand.. These multi 100k sin sots on pre married girls ex BG's with kids, well thats the farangs choice but its NOT normal Thai behavoir and dont be conned into being told it is.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#16
04-06-2006, 14:30
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Quote:
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#17
04-06-2006, 15:24
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ANY GIRL IN PARTICULAR  #IJ
__________________
ROLL ON OCTOBER........
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#18
04-06-2006, 17:31
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I don't say that I agree with my wife, I just tell you what she says. She is now 22 yrs old, former BG, never married before and have a 5 yrs old boy. We got married here in Norway first, and she also wanted to have a wedding in her home, and then there had to be paid Sin Sot or she didn't want to do it. If this was the way to give her the respect she wanted/needed I have for sure no problem with this. But a part of the story, as I have told before, was that her mother returned the money to us after the marriage. F
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#19
04-06-2006, 17:38
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Frode, your story is exactly that; your story. For your wife to say that LIL should 'buy a book because he does not understand Thailand' is pretty insulting, and maybe something you should have kept to yourself. He is absolutely correct in what he says. No way, never in a million years, would a Thai man pay sin-sod for an ex-bargirl who was also an un-married mother. Never. I would also suggest that your wife would know that as well. What is right for you does not make it right for others.
__________________
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#20
04-06-2006, 17:43
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And as evidenced by your case the money was for show and face only.. So no real sin sot was paid. What a girl wants and the reality of life in Thailand are often not the same thing.
While she may not like to hear it.. And while many BG's will push for money for momma etc.. I dont think many girls with kids and from the bar get sinsot paid by Thai guys.. They are lucky to find someone who takes care of and looks after them and hopefully loves them etc.. Now a middle class TG that has not been a BG and has a uni education.. That kind of girl will have a Thai man pay sin sot for her..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#21
04-06-2006, 18:11
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frode i am not knocking you, and agree what you did, as you made face for your wife. and the money was returned.it was a good thing you did that for her, the act of a gentleman. and we as bms know how very happy you both are, and always best thoughts from myself and the other bms.
LIL is so correct, the only reason i offered a sin sot for my gf (marriage in august) was she fitted the criteria of paying a suitable sin sot. a middle class girl (for the issan), no bfs ever before, virgin, university educated, thai criteria for marrying a tg. thai men would never pay sin sot for a bg. sit in the village and listen to some discussions, maybe only pick up 10 or 15% of the conversation and village morals are very obvious.
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#22
04-06-2006, 18:52
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Well, I hope LIL doesn't take this as an insult, I am sure that he has proved, with all his well informed post's, that he is one of the BM's with most knowledge to the Thai society. I know my story is my story, but I wasn't refering to this when I posted my wife's comments. I just wanted to see the reaction to her allegation, and I got that. Maybe I should have kept the "buying a book" to myself, but I didn't. This was her word's and she know's nothing about LIL, for her is a farang a farang, simply as that. There are about 60 mill. people in Thailand, and I don't think we can say "this is how it's done" in all families and all over the country. We are only 4 mill. people in Norway, and there are for sure many different ways to do things here too. F
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#23
04-06-2006, 19:07
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Don't think about that, a little bit temperature on this board makes it even more interesting. BTW, the forum wouldn't be the same without people like you, LIL, steve@thaib and others that have the knowledge of Thailand that maybe most others don't have. Cheers F
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