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#1
12-08-2007, 19:07
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Funeral at the Village
Back today from LOS.
It was only a 10 days trip, but was it different. Bangkok was Bangkok, good fun for a night. Pattaya was Pattaya, good fun for 3 nights. There's really nothing new to report what you can't read in other reports. The real different story begins a bit earlier when my wife tells me that her sister in law back home is very sick and she now can't speak anymore. Since she's only 25 years old and I read more than I should about that, I found it a bit overloaded and made silly comments like, what's it with the Thais and the hospitals and being sick etc. Well, we're in Pattaya for a couple of days and have already rented a car planning to drive up to my wifes village this morning. Together with her nephew, his girlfriend and sister. I looked forward to this trip. I've been to the village 3 times before, but this time I've got the joy to drive myself all the way. Should be good fun. Until at 7 a.m. in the morning my wifes phone rings. A short conversations followed by: "She already die darling." "Who died ?" I'm shocked for a moment. "My brothers wife". Okay, I'm really quite now remembering my comments a couple of days before. I also knew that this time the visit back home would be completely different. I've read about Thai funerals before, they can take up to several days, people are not sad or crying, they all stay together, laughing, joking and drinking. We're off with the car, actually a nice trip and 7 hours later we arrived at my wifes house. It's not difficult to spot in the dark at what house to stop. The house was bright light, there were many cars and motorbikes parked and 2 big tents were setup in the garden. Inside the half village scattered around. I think there were more than 200 hundred people in total. I knew some of them from past trips. In the living room was a big coffin surounded by many candles, flags and pictures. And on the coffin a picture from a beautiful 25 year old girl. I will never ever comment on any hospital story I hear in future. Poor girl, so young and she left a 4 year old boy behind. The little boy has been taking care of by my wifes sister since a long time, but still a pitty. Well, I don't know how to cut this story short, but the people stayed for 3 nights and 4 days together at my wifes house. After being scared in the beginning I settled down a bit and it was quite fun at times at well. No one really seemed sad. I never have seen people eating soo much in my life. Food was prepared non-stop. My wife told me before that the house will be one big casino. Okay, now I got it. Gambling is strictly forbidden in Thailand, but allowed when the people have to stay awake until the funeral is over. Everywhere people were gambling, in the kittchen card games, outside dice games, non-stop. The Bahts were flying around and exchanging hands.The village police guy also came along. I had a chat with him and he told me, it's okay now, usually he will try and catch them :-) At one point I got really tired and didn't know where to go, there was no space where you could relaxed for a moment. Although, I slept for a couple of hours, most really stayed up for days with only a little nap. Buddhistic mantra's were coming out of the loudspeakers very loud all night long till morning hours. I asked my wife how long this will go and she said until the right time comes. Very mystic, the right time. Who decides that ? I only get a vage answer. Proberly one of the oldest monks I guess. She told me that she has seen funerals going for 9 days. Day 4 in this case is the last day, the ceremony ended by getting a pick-up with the coffin leading all the people to the temple by a rope. There were fireworks on the way along, the guys were throwing candies for the kids. It was kind of a mix of deep respect and happiness. Still, till now I haven't seen anyone crying. After a lot of ceremonies the coffin has been put in place to get burned. And that must have been the most surprising and amazing thing I have seen. 3 wires connected by pales have been setup and one piece of firework get's lit. The firework is sliding along the wire with a lot of noise to the next pale/wire lighting another piece of firework. That one is sliding to the next pale/wire lightning another one which is sliding across the wire right into the house with coffin and lights up he fire. A second later you can see the smoke coming out of the chimney and people started to leave very quickly. Later back at the house we had to wash our feet before entering. My wife explained to me something about seperation of worlds which I completely understood. The guys were building a little house out of banana and bamboo trees which was placed outside of the fence, close to the street. They attached a very long string to that little house surounding the big house. There've been so many little traditions and rules. Later the ashes and bones were put into that bamboo house. We stayed one more night and still a good number of 60 people were there all night. We left the next day late at 4 o'clock arriving in Pattaya after midnight. I needed to get close to the airport and I also needed to settle my mind a bit before I leave back into my so far way (in my mind) but very close (in reality) working schedule. I do have a lot of pictures, but I'm not too sure if I can post them. I don't think that would be very respectful. So, that was my little different TR. It would be interesting to hear from others who experienced this before. There are hundreds of more details to tell, but I wanted to get this out now as it is.
__________________
 ...life's good 
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#2
12-08-2007, 20:38
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ub2yoo, I'm not really sure what to say?....Other than.....a great read once again.
Thanks for sharing with us.
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#3
12-08-2007, 21:29
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My sympathies go out to you and your wife ub2yoo...
Gf was telling me about a thai funeral she attended a few weeks back. Sounds simalar to your experience...Thanks for sharing.. Its odd in our eyes nobody was crying especially because she was so young.. Saying that i once attended a funeral here in ireland of a old guy. It was the best funeral i was ever at if i can say that...A total p1ssup with singing and dancing for 3 days..The guy was an absolute unique legend around here and that is totally what he would have wanted...A true irish wake...
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"forgetfulness is the prerogative of an old man. I am not an old man and will not forget my p.e kit in future"...Lines given at school 1993
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#4
13-08-2007, 13:20
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Yeah, I am very sorry to hear about this and give my condolances to your wife and you. What a pity... so young!
Ub2yoo, but I thnk witnessing this funeral ceremony must have been a life time experience. Isn't it amazing how many ltille and big traditions and ceremonies there are in LOS for different aspects in life? So different from Europe. I can imagine that is was kind of overwhelming for you. It was a good read and thanks for sharing. I always like to see pics, but in this case, I don't know if it would be appropiate to put them on the board.
__________________
 Operation SnowGirl will continue with Episode 2 
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#5
13-08-2007, 18:30
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Hi Ub2yoo, I've been thru all that as well, about one year ago now. It was an experience and I'll never forget it. I have posted about it before, but in brief...me and the GF had just returned to Sydney from Thailand. She got the phone call while we were eating out, that her daugter had drowned. We rushed back that night after a quick phone call to arrange flights back.
The funeral process wen't for 3 days. What I did find anoying was people not paying any respects, but willing to drink until it all ran out. Even I caught the Ice Man trying to Rip my GF family off in the amount of Ice supplied. I do have the pic's and a video of the whole experience. But in respect, I dont think I should put them on here.
__________________
Bar Girls are like the Borg...Resistance is futile. 
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#6
13-08-2007, 19:07
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Quote:
Hi Maverick, oh man, just returned to Australia and than back straight away and than 3 days through the funeral. You must have been exhausted. As for the drinking guys, in our case it were only the "usual suspects", a group of 3-4 people who were really drunk. Out of 150+ not too bad I guess. You are right, there are many people trying to get advantage out of it. I remember on guy playing the dice game (the one where you have to guess a combination of dices and put money on some numbers, roulette style). Everyone can start a game being the bank. That one guy won a lot and people where very worried about it. My wife told me not to play with him since he is a professional and is cheating the game as well. So, what is that guy doing at a funeral I asked myself. Otherwise, to extend my story a bit. My wife was called to a meeting and I already knew what the outcome would be. Indeed she came up to me later and told me that we have to borrow them 10k Baht the next morning to finance all ceremonies. I was just waiting for it. So, I go to the local ATM machines, get the money and we pay. The next night there was a group of people on the kitchen floor counting baht notes for a very long time. The next morning some people were again counting and writing in a book, making notes etc. Well, to my surprise, we got every little satang back, I was well impressed. If they would have had trouble I really would have paid a large share, but I didn't want to send a wrong message to the whole village. What would happen the next time, and the next time etc. Now they know the limits. I did pay 4.500 baht for a whole pig (100kg) though. And I did BBQ some of it myself the next day, including that Pigs Ear ... brrrr :-) That was something funny to see that ear going from pink to brown dark, like the color of liver.
__________________
...life's good
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#7
13-08-2007, 19:24
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I bought a cow and the alcohol
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I had bought a cow on an earlier trip for 10,000 THB to add to the family herd. It was due to a relative needing the money, and at the time a cheap buy. Anyway the cow ended up being cut up to feed the majority of the people over the 3 days. I paid for most of the alcohol, of which we had to hide. It had to last for the 3 days, otherwise it would have all gone sooner, and the local drunks would never leave. In regards to the money, the family had a book and did the same. I did ask the GF about this, and it was to keep a track of what was given to help off set costs for the family. I also think that if they were to attend someone elses funeral, in return they would give the same amount of money back to them.
__________________
Bar Girls are like the Borg...Resistance is futile.
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#8
13-08-2007, 19:39
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Yes, we had the booz locked in a room as well. But since I had access to it and the guys knew it, they non-stop came up to me for one more. And I do have some problems saying no. I'm usually a big drinker, but haven't been drunk really during that funeral, it just didn't feel right to me. One thing I remember my wife mentioned is that the person who died had a insurance in the village...something like every house in the village had to pay 90 Baht or so.
__________________
...life's good
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#9
14-08-2007, 01:13
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Apparently in my gf village when someone dies...everybody gives 100baht...
I i dunno if thats pp or per family...
__________________
"forgetfulness is the prerogative of an old man. I am not an old man and will not forget my p.e kit in future"...Lines given at school 1993
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#11
21-08-2007, 23:32
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U2Y and Mav
thanks for the insight seems both of you handled it with class but must have been alot to take in also when im in the village just for a normal visit i need to step away for an hour or 2 just to get some "alone time" so couldnt imagine that situation
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#12
22-08-2007, 06:11
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great insight and well written U2U.....really felt how you must have been feeling there....a tough and confusing time
also enjoyed your perspectives Maverick + Nuntana......obviously very different experience to the traditional Western Funeral
__________________
 ....but of course I was verey verey draaank at the taaame!!!
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#13
22-08-2007, 06:13
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Quote:
that village insurance scheme interests me, i have been lazy to find out more about it. old man who is a frequent visitor to the house, keeps the book and collects the money. i think he collects 100 baht when he comes around with the book. the mother in law takes 100 baht, which seems unrelated to the insurance fund, to the house of the recently deceased.
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everything is for sale in thailand its just how they package it
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#14
22-08-2007, 11:51
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Quote:
I'll try to get more information about how exactly that works, it interests me as well. Now, to extend this story a little bit, since I have to go on business travel for the rest of the month and we only get our new house beginning of September, I left my wife in the Village rather than having her staying in Hotels alone all the time. So, she went back after saying good bye at the Airport 2 weeks ago and goes back. 2 days later, she gives me a call - Honey, you don't believe it, another one died. Some close neighbours. I must admit, I was a quite relieved that I was gone already. They all went through the same ceremonies again. Believe it or not, she tells me a couple of days later that another one died. But without this insurance and the ceremonies didn't last long. I wonder what's going on in that Village at the moment. They all were quite young, too. Always loved going there, but at the moment have the feeling I'll wait a while before going back. I know life's not always fun, but that's a bit too much reality.
__________________
...life's good
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#15
22-08-2007, 17:08
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it seems to happen a lot, people passing on.
if a bg was telling a newb at the bar that her father passed on back at the village, normally i would roll my eyes, but it seems these funerals do occour quite often, hence the value of the insurance scheme
__________________
everything is for sale in thailand its just how they package it
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#16
22-08-2007, 18:32
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Another Insight
One thing my XGF told me from time to time, is of people having stomach problem and within several months they pass away. I kept wondering what this was all about, and knowning the level of medical care and costs, many don't go and see about illness straight away.
My XGF also used to say many don't trust some doctors, as they think they give out pills to solve all issues regardless, and not diagnose the inital health problem. Anyway after about the 4th trip from the villiage, we were returning back to Sydney, when I read an article in the Bangkok Post. It was about the large percentage of people in Issan having being diagnosed a condition with the liver. It was due to Issan culture of them eating that dish I see many times (Raw meat dish mixed with chilli they eat) sorry I don't know the name of it. The thing was that a parasite is in the raw meat and attacks the liver, hence the Issan view of stomach problem. I believe that once they start to feel ill, it's to late for the liver and they have about 3 months to live. The article did mention a certain area where the study was taken (around Mancha Khiri, near Khon Kaen). But it was a common Issan dish, and they wern't too sure how big the issue really is, as with most deaths, not many autopsy are done in Thailand, especially Issan.
__________________
Bar Girls are like the Borg...Resistance is futile.
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#17
22-08-2007, 18:44
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Quote:
Stomach problems is quite comon here as well with certain groups of immigrants. According to my ex-wife who was a nurse in one of our local hospitals and saw many of these patients, a main cause of this is that these people eat a lot of (sticky) rice and they usse so much chillies. Especially, because thay don't take away the seeds of the chillies. Seeds obviously makes it even more spicy. But the seeds are digesting badly and tend to stick to the intestine. Another thing is that their eating habits are pretty much one-sided. Having been in the Isaan myself now for a few times, that fact of a one-sided diet is not always the case, but I truly believe the sticky rice and the chilly seeds are causing these stomach problems to a certain extend. My GF was also complaining about her stomach a few times in the past. I told her the above too and she stopped eating chillies with seeds. Now she just uses a few chillies more, but she takes out the seeds and it seems to help her.
__________________
Operation SnowGirl will continue with Episode 2
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#18
22-08-2007, 21:52
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wow, that is good info thanks
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#19
23-08-2007, 12:02
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but the marinade (fish sauce, soy, lemon + cliliies etc) cooks the beef does it not Nun BTW my guess is that it is food poisoning from poor food storage and preparation that is making people sick more than the chilli seeds....(was certainly the case in Cambo on a couple of of WHO innoculation tours I volunteerd on) that said the chilli seeds can give quite a stomach ache and cause reflux and even stomach perforation in severe cases
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....but of course I was verey verey draaank at the taaame!!!
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#20
24-08-2007, 17:46
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Quote:
Just out of curiosity why do poeple eat these kinds of food then.....
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#21
30-08-2007, 05:18
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Issan food is incredibly spicy but i didnt think it could cause physical problems i think ill stay away from eating it too much on my next trip .
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