Phuket Thailand

magnusvv · #1 20-01-2005, 01:05

I was reading mikegb's thread http://www.phuket-info.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5376 in the General section and it got me thinking of what the Thai's think of this. Is it acceptable in their culture for a boyfriend to take care of his girlfriend the way a farang will pay for his girl? Would you find Thai men giving money to their girlfriend's family as an act of goodwill or something?

In my western mindset this is simply shameful prostitution and I would imagine the family would look down upon this.

LivinLOS · #2 20-01-2005, 10:13

It is normal in Thai society that the young pay money to the old.. They have no social security and this is the same in most 3rd world countries.

That said a Thai is unlikely to be expected to contribute nearly as much as a farang as in general Thais have a fairly structured society and you wont get a rich bangkokian marrying an issan farm girl (which many farangs do).. So you dont get rich Thais marrying poor families and paying so much so often.. Its part of the nature of the beast that poor girls are working in the bars and the guys that meet them are (to the farm girl) rich.. Theres some of the attraction and its to be expected if your having a relationship with an older guy having a young attractive thai girlfriend that part of the appeal is your financial security and that will be used to benefit the parents.

So yes it does happen in Thailand normally, its not prosititution, its how the young care for the old and 'repay' being looked after and perhaps sent to school. Its paying your parents for the sacrifices they made when bringing you up.

Now how to bar girls look on guys that send them money ?? I can promise you that 9 times out of 10 they think they are ****ing stupid. Of course there are the few 'real' relationships where the girl does love the guy and honestly quits the scene (and hence has no real support) and gets a normal job and the guy helps her live a normal life. In these few situations a more serious relationship is being (bought) formed and this does (rarely) happen.

For the rest who are sending money to working girls the amount of respect these girls show (when the guy is not there) is less than none..

TRUE EXAMPLE.. One of my female friends (never ****ed) is a lazy BG.. She is a pretty good looker and charges WAY over the odds (and gets it if she wants), she will honestly say things like 'I dont want to work **** man.. I just want many man send me money and not see them' etc.. Being a friend she uses my net connection (she is actually asleep in my spare bedroom now) for her emails etc.. I am roped into replying to the 4 - 8 guys she keeps playing the game with as she plays them all for money. She herself says 'its better to have 4 guys send me 10,000 than one send me 40k.. That way if I want to forget one its not a problem for me'.. she dont give a shit about any of them.

Literally yesterday morning.. she is laying the sob story on some italian guy by phone.. He will send her money.. It is going by western union (she dont care what the transfer fees cost).. He agrees and says its sent to the name.. Now I have been helping her spell english words on the phone but then she looks shocked and says to me.. Ask him what his name is !!! I nearly choked.. She has forgotten this guys name totally !! She says its andre / adri / adriano or something (Andre from italy if your reading and wired money yesterday.. Sorry mate) but had no idea.. The cunning little thing then waited until he confirmed he had sent it to ask !!! She can whisper sweet nothings but has no real interest in seeing him ever again, she cant even remember his name, she only wants him to take care of her and its easier than having to **** someone..

LivinLOS · #3 20-01-2005, 10:40

Another example that I have posted before..

I had a regular who had a Euro sponsor who would call from work.. So we are in bed hung over and ****ing in the afternoon, this fella has started his 8am daily grind and calls her up while we are on the job... So the phone goes and she rolls off me and answers it.. She is going 'Hi Honey.. How are you.. etc' so as her cute little ass was up in the air I start to get back in doggy style and she is trying to sound normal and have plain conversation and I am trying to get her to sound bad...

She was literally assuring him she did not work in the bar any more and spent the last night just with some friends while we were going at it.. Fair play she kept the whole conversation up for about 10 minutes.. She was not best pleased with me after..

Now this girl was a nice sweet thing and was looking to get out of the scene.. She was trying to weld to me for a long while but I was going through a cnut phase and in retrospect (even at the time) I know I treated her badly considering how well she treated me and how much effection she showed.. She was ready to settle down and she had a lot to give.

The final upshot is that after I would not let her 'live in' she went to stay in Austria with the fella for 3 months.. She returned back in autumn and came down from family home in Laos to check out if I was still single etc (I wasn't so she had to play Mia Noi and again I could not treat her good) and after sizing up the situation with me has gone back to Austria again and I assume will probably marry this guy.

So end result of this sponsorship is that this fella (no offense but just for background).. Late middle age.. Not what you could call a catch.. works for the council with a sub 600 Euro take home per month (I helped her do her visa applications so had to do his salary slips) etc guy..

For the few payments he made out over some months may well have got his mid 20's gogo girl married and happily living in Europe. If it works for them in the long run what was the real cost of a few 5 - 10k baht payments ?? If you are prepared to take the girl home or are looking for the long term relationship and can block out that they will be screwing people while your not there it may well get her to you.

We are still in touch by SMS and I hope she makes a go of it.. she sure seems happier than when she was working in a gogo..

magnusvv · #4 20-01-2005, 20:47

Thanks for the reply LivinLOS, yeah I was a bit confused with how the girls think their sponsor's are stupid .... but taking care of them is also part of their culture?

Last night I asked a few thai friends about this. (background: two young bkk university girls, early-mid 20's with decent middle class families.) Both girls had the same response, "I would never take money from a man unless he was my husband". Which to me sounded the same as what a farang chick would say.

However they did explain that things are different with people who come from the more poor and rural background, and that it is not unordinary for a man to give money to those girls. They said it is a way for the man to show love and that he is serious about the girl. Also one of them said she and her old thai boyfriend used to share money, which she thought was normal.

Just thought I'd add what I found out.